I told them...

I just recently told my family that my fiance and I won't be staying and settling in PA after the wedding in August like we originally planned, but that we're coming back here to Manchester for 3 years. We still plan to eventually settle in America after the 3 years is up but the reason we're staying longer is because we were both offered really great job opportunities that will be better for us both in the long run and help us be in stronger positions to get better jobs when we finally do go back to America then we would be if we went back to America now.

So obviously this is a great thing for the two of us and I thought that while my family would be disappointed and upset that we weren't coming back as soon as they'd hoped, that they would also be happy for us and support this decision as whats best in the long run.

But so far, they have only expressed the former, not the latter. No support, no reassurance that I'm doing the right thing and that they understand our decision. They're also now thinking that at the end of 3 years, we're going to be so settled here that we won't want to leave and we'll just stay in england forever even though I DON'T want that (I love england but I want to eventually settle someplace where my family is too).

I'm hoping that it's just the initial shock of it and once they get used to the idea they'll be more supportive but right now I'm really upset because I'm really close with my family and this is the first time they haven't shown any support or understanding for my decisions. It was a really hard decision for me to make and I didn't do it lightly.

My fiance is still at work so I haven't been able to talk to him about it so I really needed to tell someone because I've been crying for the last half hour!

Oh and if this isn't in the right section, I'm sorry, I'm still getting used to the forum.

Sorry your family hasn't taken the news well.  I am sure it's just shock and they will come around eventually.  Good luck with the new jobs!

That's too bad how they reacted.  I'm sure as they get used to it, they will be more supportive, especially if you are close with them.  They'll want you to be happy, but I'm sure it's hard for our parent's to let us go...even when we're already grown up 

It does feel good to get it off your chest though, right?  Her response isn't all that unusual, at least according to some old threads.  This one made me feel better: http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?topic=15137.0

Good luck with everything.

Thanks guy, I have heard back from them again and my mom is trying her best to be supportive but my dad is still upset it seems. I feel a bit better now but I don't like my dad being disappointed with no support. Hopefully it just takes him a little more time to come around. He's not real great at expressing his feelings.

I'm actually going back there in about a week and will be there until after the wedding (because I still have wedding details to wrap up) so I'm secretly hoping they'll be so happy to see me they're forget about their disappointment for a while lol.

I read that other thread and while I know my mom has cried over this, she's doesn't sound as bad as some of the others on there, phew.

Good news...they are already turning around!

They should take comfort in the fact that you plan to return.  I'm sure over time they will and they'll come around.  I'm sure they'll be happy to see you next week...Plus, you have all the excitement of the upcoming wedding!
Best wishes!

They should take comfort in the fact that you plan to return. 

Well unfortunately they now think that at the end of 3 yrs when we plan to go back, we're going to be so settled here that we won't want to leave and we'll end up living here forever.

But you're right, hopefully they'll come around anyway

I had the same reaction from my family when i said i would be moving to the US. But now our plans are changing and it is looking like Chris will be coming to live her at least for 2-3 years, that i expect is family will react the same. I think it is only natural for them to feel this way, they feel like they will be loosing you, give them time and they will see the benefits.