So aggravated

I know this is not a favorite answer, but well, it's so true... Love knows it's time. When the time is right you will be married. For some it is right away, my best friend, her parents were friends for a year, dated two weeks, were engaged, and then married two months later. My dad, met his partner when he had just gone through a horrible break up. Had sworn off love, but found him that very night, and a year latter, were married. (technically domestic partnership due to same sex, but that's a topic for another forum) And then there are cases like my Mom's friend Joanne and Larry. Have been friends and lovers well, since the 80's, and are still not married, but deeply in love with each other. And my parents, they took 7 years before getting married. The point is, love is no restricted by time....it knows when it is right. If the love is true, there is no such thing as waiting too long or rushing in. It just has to be the right moment. Sweetie, it's obvious he loves you, and it's obvious you love him. When marriage is in the cards for you it will happen. Just enjoy the love, be one with it, and let it find it's own way. You are a strong woman, and have practically unlimited support from friends and family both in real life and on the boards.

Sorry if this is a bit personal and we don't know each other well, but I felt compelled to post that.

Aww that was awesome...thank you. I know it will take some time but the seperation is the hardest. If we saw more of eachother then it would ease the heartache but financially we just haven't been able too. We went a whole year without seeing one another face to face and finally it's coming to a close in may. That's the longest we've gone without seeing one another since we've been together ...we usually see eachother atleast once a year and the FIRST year we met we saw eachother twice in one year. If I could i'd pick that because that was THE best year ever being able to be together that long.

Anyway, thanks alot you really settled some of my nerves (for the time being). I'm sure I'll have another fit soon lol it comes and goes.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. You have been really strong so far and I don't think it's unreasonable at all to want to get married after 4 years of a LD relationship. I was in a similar situation just recently. I met an amazing guy while I was a student in the UK last year. We had to make the decision to get married so that we could stay together (work visa over here is like gold dust). Even after deciding to get married though, there was tons of red tape and lots of money spent to make sure we could get married. We didn't have a lavish ceremony, we want to save that for a few years time when we can do it properly.

I feel for you so much, you can make it work out, I know you can!

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. You have been really strong so far and I don't think it's unreasonable at all to want to get married after 4 years of a LD relationship. I was in a similar situation just recently. I met an amazing guy while I was a student in the UK last year. We had to make the decision to get married so that we could stay together (work visa over here is like gold dust). Even after deciding to get married though, there was tons of red tape and lots of money spent to make sure we could get married. We didn't have a lavish ceremony, we want to save that for a few years time when we can do it properly.

I feel for you so much, you can make it work out, I know you can!

Aww thank you. I appreciate your comment. It's really hard to carry on a LDR for 4 years but I'm willing to continue until the day that he is ready. I just hope it's sooner than later  . I'm not looking forward too the hard work of doing it lol...crossing all that red tape seems like such a hassle but in the end it will be worth it. We'll cross that bridge when we come too it.

Congrats on finally being together! 

Just a thought...student loans are easy to come by in the states. I moved here to get my masters and I will go away with just $18,500 in student loans. Sounds like a lot, but student loans are very low in interest rates and you don't have to start paying them off until 6mts after you graduate. It's  not cheap here, but it was still the best decision. I moved in with my brit ( I felt ready at that time, but it was good to spend so much more time with him) and less than 6mts later he asked me to marry him. You could look into becoming a nurse or social worker, there are shortages of them here.

Good luck and don't wait forever!

Just a thought...student loans are easy to come by in the states. I moved here to get my masters and I will go away with just $18,500 in student loans. Sounds like a lot, but student loans are very low in interest rates and you don't have to start paying them off until 6mts after you graduate. It's  not cheap here, but it was still the best decision. I moved in with my brit ( I felt ready at that time, but it was good to spend so much more time with him) and less than 6mts later he asked me to marry him. You could look into becoming a nurse or social worker, there are shortages of them here.

Good luck and don't wait forever!

Hmm thanks for the advice...I'm going to go look at what it intails for those type of jobs. I know what i'd have to do to be a nurse because my mom's husband is one...HARD...very hard.

Hmm thanks for the advice...I'm going to go look at what it intails for those type of jobs. I know what i'd have to do to be a nurse because my mom's husband is one...HARD...very hard.

I can tell you firsthand, being a social worker is hard, so don't go into it if you don't have the calling because you'll end up hating it by the time you graduate.  I've seen it. 

I would love to be a social worker. In a few years I will go to school for it. I definitely have the calling. I've been working with homeless people, the mentally ill, and immigrants in various volunteer capacities since I was 16. I have been known to spend hours talking to a couple with problems online, etc. And the fact that it's a relatively well respected and compensated profession doesn't hurt, either. What's the minimum specialist academic certification required? Cheers

Belive me, I COMPLETELY understand what you are going through. 8 1/2 years ago I met my husband online. We were both just 17 at the time and became pen pals. After writing back and forth for 2 years, he finally made the trip over to the US to visit me. It was the first time we had met face-to-face and we hit it off immediately. Unfortunately, I had just finished my freshman year of college and had 3 more years to go.

I was blessed with the opportunity to study abroad in the UK through my university and we were finally able to be together for 9 precious months. However, when the school year ended, my student visa expired and I had come back to the US to finish my last two years of college. We spent every penny we had on visits for the next FIVE YEARS. Every 5 months or so one of us would travel over to either the US or UK for a visit (which explains why we're now very poor newlyweds 

Like you, my then-boyfriend seemed content with our situation. Sure, he missed me and wanted us to be together, but he never seemed desperate enough to do anything about it. We fought. I cried. We fought some more. We broke up a couple of times and I even tried dating American men just so I didn't have to deal with our situation.

Eventually though, we both reached our breaking point. Finally, in Dec. 2003, after 4 years of wondering what the future of our relationship was, he proposed. However, the toughest and lonliest time was yet to come. Due to circumstances, we had to wait a further 19 months before our wedding. In total, we spent 6 years in a long distance relationship before we finally were able to get married and be together.

Belive me sweetie, I understand how you feel. You know what though? For me, even though it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through and seemed so unfair, it was worth it. Hang in there. <hugs>

I would love to be a social worker. In a few years I will go to school for it. I definitely have the calling. I've been working with homeless people, the mentally ill, and immigrants in various volunteer capacities since I was 16. I have been known to spend hours talking to a couple with problems online, etc. And the fact that it's a relatively well respected and compensated profession doesn't hurt, either. What's the minimum specialist academic certification required? Cheers

check out the 'calling all social workers' in the job section on this forum


But people need a bachelor's degree.  Some UK social workers have what is called a diploma which is less than a bachelor's but it is changing for UK Social Work so now students get the degree. 

check out the 'calling all social workers' in the job section on this forum


But people need a bachelor's degree.  Some UK social workers have what is called a diploma which is less than a bachelor's but it is changing for UK Social Work so now students get the degree. 

can you link me?