Another question on submitting notice....

Uber Yank's thread reminded me that I was supposed to be seeking advice from this board.  I am in a PhD program and on fellowship (ie paid to do my research) in the US.  I have talked to my boss about my husband moving back to the UK and he is still pushing me to stay and finish my PhD.  He basically told me that we can re-evaluate things in 6 months (which would be September) and I can leave then if I want.  But I already know that I am leaving on September 19th - and need to tell him before then so that I can avoid some of the defenses/oral exams required for the PhD this summer.

I would like to get my master's degree out of this, and to do that he needs advance notice so that we can plan how to wrap up my research.  I'm also going to need to train someone to use my instruments.  I have no idea how long this will take - a lot of it depends on whether he flips out (which he does sometimes) or just goes with the flow (which he also does sometimes).  Also, at one point me mentioned just writing up what I've done so far.  I don't want to get "kicked out" or finish before the end of August because I need the money.  But I also don't want to leave it too long. 

Anyway - I'm debating between the beginning of May or the very end of June - leaving 18 or 9 weeks respectively.  Does anyone have any experience with this type of thing, or any thoughts on what I should do?  Thanks. 

Hmmmm... well, I'm in the process of transfering the post-graduate work I've done towards a degree at a British institution.  I do not think you are in the same position as me though.  From what you've said, I think it may be best just to talk to your boss about it now, so he can make sure that all the proper paperwork is in place for you to receive your Masters.  Also, this will get it off your shoulders and it will be out that you are in fact leaving.  Hopefully that will save you from his wanting to re-evaluate the situation since you know you will be leaving in September.  If you are set to get your PhD, I would think you can always, with your Masters, apply to a University in Wales.  But, I think that because you said that he would need lots of advanced notice, I would tell him at the beginning of May, and then do whatever you needed to do to make sure you were done in September, not before or after.  My 2 cents, and I hope it's helpful!  Best of luck really!  I know these are difficult situations!

How important is the PhD to you?   
My greatest regret in life is that I left a PhD program and took the Master's instead.   
I subsequently earned another Master's degree (MBA), but still two Master's is just not the same as having that coveted PhD. 

How important is the PhD to you?   
My greatest regret in life is that I left a PhD program and took the Master's instead.   
I subsequently earned another Master's degree (MBA), but still two Master's is just not the same as having that coveted PhD. 

I thought a lot about this.  I don't want it.  I absolutely do not want to do research as a career.  It would be a badge of honor, but that is about it.  The fact that I'm not interested in research is compounded by a really bad environment in my lab.  And I've reached a point in my life/state of mind where I just can't handle the hours anymore and other things are much more important.

I thought a lot about this.  I don't want it.  I absolutely do not want to do research as a career.  It would be a badge of honor, but that is about it.  The fact that I'm not interested in research is compounded by a really bad environment in my lab.  And I've reached a point in my life/state of mind where I just can't handle the hours anymore and other things are much more important.

As long as you aren't being overly affected by the situation in your lab.  Lab environments can change, and even if this is one bad, it should not affect how you feel about your PhD.  I think as long as you have thought about it, and done quite a bit of personal searching, you know what is right for you.  Anything we can help you with to de-stress (you sound a bit frazzled with all the research), please let us know!

I thought a lot about this.  I don't want it.  I absolutely do not want to do research as a career.  It would be a badge of honor, but that is about it.  The fact that I'm not interested in research is compounded by a really bad environment in my lab.  And I've reached a point in my life/state of mind where I just can't handle the hours anymore and other things are much more important.

Well, in my opinion, you have your answer.  But, now you have to decide how he is going to act. I know how that feels, so go by your gut instinct.  Does he have to be involved with you preparing to get your Master's?

Yeah - he has to be involved.  I think I'm going to shoot for early to middle May.  I'm now debating between the end of the first week, right before he receives an award so he'll be in a really good mood.  Or right after a conference I have coming up in the third week, so I'll have a recent accomplishment under my belt.  Then there is alway the option of just marching in and telling him now, so that I don't have to worry about it at all anymore.   

We'll see.  Thanks for your thoughts. 

I couldn't handle the suspense and told him this morning.  He just said ok.        So I guess I'm all set to buy my tickets now - and have open discussions in the office!

Good for you!  Congrats on just getting it over with!   

I bet you are happy that's over with! Now on to preparing to move!