hardest part is the uncertainty

IF I was legally allowed to live here on my own, he says he would definately want to remain in a serious relationship with me. 

I would say that this bit is encouraging!   My DH & I were once in the same boat that way -- it was too soon for him to decide on the permanent commitment (marriage) required for me to live over here legally.  And really it was too soon for me as well when I was thinking sensibly.  We spent a little more than a year doing the LDR -- usually a daily phone call (even if it was just a short one), lots of email, weekend chat dates, traveling every few months as we were able.  We just tried to relax, enjoy being together (emotionally if not physically), and being an emotional comfort to each other.  DH was more comfortable with the LDR aspect than I was...after a year of LDR, I more or less had 'the talk' with him in what I thought was (admirably for me) a rational manner -- either we decide to go forward together (and all that entailed) or not...in the end, he decided that he didn't want to lose me.  (But I had prepared myself mentally/emotionally had he decided otherwise.)  We are coming up on our 2 year anniversary this year.

QG may have a good point.

well...I know that being apart from one another physically will be greatly missed, and not just in a sexual manner...we really enjoy our cuddling time and not having that will definately be a test on whether we have enough else to make this thing happen

I am feeling remarkable good about it all today. I surprise myself. I have been sitting in the sun on the back garden patio, journalling...
and have allowed myself to face that even if it does not work out, we did the best we could at the time.

I am even of the mind (at the moment) that perhaps we should go awhile without being in close contact after I get back.  I'll let him know I am home safely and then...well, maybe we should take a break. I know that won't be easy...but it might be best. Give us both a chance to see how we feel and think about what we want...

the mind is a funny thing.  yesterday I felt really crap about it all and now...there is just peace