My Brit is gone...

I'm miserable and weepy.  :\\\'(

I've decided that next time BF visits I'm hiring a car to take him to the airport...those good-byes are not getting any easier.  I had to sit in my car for 20 minutes today until I could get a hold of myself to drive.

We had an amazing weekend!  We spent the weekend in NYC and stayed in the hotel where we met.  Came back to NJ yesterday to have Easter Brunch with my family. I gave him his very first Easter Basket...which he loved and said it will now become a tradition and can't wait to give me one next year. 

So last night...as we are going to sleep, I start with the blubbering.  All these insecurities come up and I feel insane!  It's a pattern...I get weepy and he begins to make little jokes about the things I won't miss about him...funny thing is I miss everything about him!  Even the things that annoy me!  I also got upset because it looks like my move to the UK is going to be postponed.    We initially thought we'd have it all together by September, but now it doesn't look that way.

There is so much stuff going on with his job right now that we can't even plan our next visit.  I just hate not knowing when we'll see each other again.  It's torture.

I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself...I'm just really sad.  I know I am lucky because it seems we see each other a lot more than others on here see their SOs.  Posting on here makes me fell a little better because I know there are others here that understand my feelings.  My friends here in the US are no help, I can't even talk to them...they are all so negative sometimes.  It's frustrating.

I'm babbling now...sorry!  The saying good-bye just breaks my heart everytime.

I'm sorry you are so upset right now.  I know how you feel....saying goodbye, especially at an airport, is the worst!   Everything will fall into place, so don't worry!

I did the same thing when df left in March.  I had to sit in the car for a little bit before I could drive.  The security person even asked if I was okay.  I think you are right, the worst is not knowing when you'll get to see them.  I am so sorry for your sadness, but it will all come together!  Feel better!

It sounds like you held it together pretty well until the last night - I bet you had a great time.  My husband tried to do the whole things-you-won't-miss thing.  Apparently he only did it to try to make me feel better because he broke down in the security line at the airport.  I could never hire a car to drive him to the airport, because I would hate knowing that I could still be with him.  Even for a few minutes.  Although, not having to cry in front of a bunch of strangers might be nice. 

How far back do you think your move will be pushed?  Is there anything you can do to get things together in time for September? 

Thank you!

I'm thinking a bit more rationally today.  I know everthing will fall into place when it should and I have to relax a bit.  Unfortunately, my move will be pushed back because of all that is going on with his job.  We can't even resume the conversation because he's so consumed with work right now.  I don't want to add to the stress.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all gets worked out in the job situation soon and then we can resume or marriage/moving plans.  Initially I was moving May/June and we were going to get married over the summer.

I'm going to start looking for a job more aggressively.  Perhaps if I find something I can move over more quickly.

Thanks again for your kind words.

Awww, mekaw, take care of yourself, it will all work out.  There were times in the last 5 yrs I thought it would never happen, but now I have it all together (thanks to the wonderfully patient people on this forum!) and am flying to the UK for marriage in 19 days.  It will all come for you both too.  Stay safe and in love!