Things not to say during an interview

With all the recent posts about interviews and such. I thought this would be a laugh



Things not to say or do during an interview

     * See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.

        * Ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say; 'Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone barricaded that.'

        * Constantly fidget with underwear waistband, then blurt: 'The strawberry ones are the stickiest, don't ya' think?'

        * After detailing your greatest achievement, qualify with, 'Of course I was totally hammered at the time.'

        * Inquire on office policy of friends staying over.

        * Claim you wouldn't even need a sit-in' job if Al Einstein hadn't stolen your secret patent for- '2000 Flushes'

        * Over-emphasize your ability to use a copier.

        * Ask if it's O.K. that you sit on the floor.

        * Allow that you would little impact on the overhead budget, because you swiped all the supplies from your other job.

        * Although parking was free, insist that they validate something or you're not leaving.

        * Mention your resume would have been stronger, but you didn't feel like making anything else up.

        * Ask secretary if she'll sit on your lap during interview.

        * Walk into interviewer's office with a tape measure, measure office from a few angles, put away, declare; 'NOW we can begin.'

        * Upon walking in to the office for first time ask reception to hold all your calls.

 * Stretch out on the floor to fill out the job application.

*Announce you hadn't had lunch and proceed to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer's office.

LOL