What to do if the meeting is awkward..?

I met someone when I was in the UK, we hung out for a day and had a blast and have been e-mailing ever since I got back to the U.S. last year to finish up University. We get along great online, really clicked and have great conversations...I feel like we've developed a nice close friendship over the past year.

I may be seeing him sometime either this summer after I graduate Uni, or next summer, and I've had a bad thought after reading another post on this website: what if we get along great online, but not in face-to-face real life? What if it's awkward or uncomfortable or just plain weird? What if we ONLY have that good chemistry when we're writing letters?

I feel kind of stupid thinking this. Here I am, almost 22 years old, and acting like a little girl before her first date! But I'm nervous. What if we just don't get on well at all?

You move on?     I've never started a relationship long-distance, so I haven't had this concern.  Other people on the site have recommended that you make alternate plans during your visit time.  Some made hotel reservations for the whole trip, planned side trips to take on their own (or with their new partner), or planned to meet other friends in the UK.  That way if things feel "funny" you can go have a fantastic holiday on your own.  You could encourage him to do the same, if he is coming to see you.  Just give him some ideas for side trips. 

Also, do you speak on the phone?  It's still not in-person, but maybe one step closer than writing. 

Good luck with everything.   

i mjet my now husband online 2 weeks before he deployed to Iraq.  we waited 8 months becaus e we had to with him being deployed. We just vowed to each other that if we met and there was no chemistry or one or the other felt uncomfortable, then i would get the next flight home. We also booked a hotel, met during the day. the usual stuff. I had the same thoughts you did, but i swear when we met it was like i had known him a life time. Just make a game plan for all eventualities, but i dont think you will need it.

I guess I don't understand. If you have already met in person and hung out for a day, why would it be awkward? And if you aren't sure if you will see this person this summer or next, don't spend your time worrying! It is what it is, and worrying isn't going to make it any different. I know that is easier said than done, but seriously, try to relax and let things happen as they may.

I knew I had a great connection with my man before we met, but I didn't put my heart on the line or admit to myself any deep feelings until we had spent real time together. All of the emailing and IM'ing all those months before we met helped build a foundation, but the true connection was set for me in person.

As for alternate plans, as Carrie mentioned.. I didn't have plans made when I ventured over to meet him the first time. I did however check out hotels and had a mental note of a Holiday Inn I could stay at right near the airport if things went wrong somehow. Luckily I never needed to worry about that, but it's good to be prepared especially when traveling so far!

And as you said, you have made a great friend. So if you don't get on well in person, move on and continue to email your "friend" when you get back home. Don't put too much time in to worrying though. At 22 you have years left to worry!  Take care!

Just remember...first impressions aren't always accurate. And give it a real chance.

We're very happily married now, but our 1st meeting at LAX was HORRENDOUS! We had been chatting for months on-line and by phone. I had invited him to visit LA when he was coming to America on holiday to see his friend's in Mississippi. Anyway during all our talks he kept building up this BIG 1st kiss at the airport. Well trust me...I've had much better. It gave me the impression that he was not into me.  And we had no backup plan...other than the couch, which he firmly refused when I offered. And now I am soooooooooo glad he did.

Oh the kicker...it was five weeks. We kept butting heads almost daily. I was even crying on my ex-boyfriend's shoulder about how I wished he would just leave. And honest...most of it was my fault because I was afraid of being hurt again. I'm very happy he wouldn't be chased away. 

So just remember the person in those emails and IMs is in there somewhere underneath all those nerves and jitters. Give it whatever it takes to find it in person. If it is the real thing, you'll be so glad you did.

Well, my situation is very different as we met online and never spoke on the phone until we met.  So, I stayed at one hotel in London and he stayed at another one and we met in the lobby of mine.  Everything went great and we're now married with a baby on the way!

Since you have been in person together before, that helps.  I would just say to take it as it comes and if you have a great time great and if you don't click, then you've discovered something you needed to discover.

Best of luck and let us know how it goes!!

Terriponeale...great story! I loved the "even crying on the ex boyfriends shoulder, hoping he would leave" lol!

NYNY - nice story....congrats on the little one on the way!

First impressions always interesting.  I knew df as a friend when I spent time in the UK as a student.  We were just friends.  The next time we saw each other a year had gone by and we were something more.  That was quite an adjustment, having him just hold my hand or put his arm around me.  It was a bit awkward at first, but ended up being great!   

you've already met so what's there to be nervous about? That takes ALOT of pressure off...well I'd assume it does. When you've never met there's a whole "omg what if he doesn't like me" and all those other things when you first meet but seeing as you've already met he already knows what to expect from you. If you go into the meeting with the thoughts of "it's going to be awkward" then it will be...just be calm and be yourself

I think the fact that you initially met in person, then have been keeping in touch will make it much less likely that there will be any uncomfortableness when you visit. 

Alex and I were friends online first, then began a relationship, then actually met in person about two months later.  There was no awkwardness at all at Heathrow - instant lip lock over the barrier in arrivals, couldn't be bothered to walk around it first! 

Just be yourselves and I'm sure it will go well.  Spend this time concentrating on school and planning stuff to see or do when you visit.

Truthfully, you need to bite the bullet and do it or you WILL regret not seeing him.  I worried if my husband and I's visits would be awkward everytime I would see him, but they never were.  If your meeting with this guy is awkward, well then you know and you won't have to worry about it.  You can still be friends right?

hey, i had spent about 5 hours with my husband the first time i met and we clicked.

We talked and chatted on email for a month...and he bit the bullet and we took a risk and he came to see me, all after a few hours together.

That weekend was one of many, and now we've been married 2 years

some times, you just gotta try.  jump in feet first!

One of the things my hubbie and I found out is that after time apart and the build up to seeing each other again, there is always an anti-climax moment.  But you work through those moments and you start talking and all the things you have over email and the phone suddenly are face to face.  We always talked about these beautiful meetings in the airport and the hugs and kisses, but they never quite happened that way.  I'm waiting to see what happens when I move over there in 2 weeks - talk about a build up!

Funny thing is, we had already met face to face and had been friends for several years before we got together - still have that adjustment though.

You have to go with the flow, relax a little bit, understand that there is an adjustment from talking on the phone/emailing to finally being face to face. 

I know where you're coming from, YankeeGirl.  I knew my husband through work.  I was based in NY, and he was here in London.  We had worked on projects together, and we had met face-to-face a few times.  When he booked his first trip to NY expressly for seeing me, it was a bit nerve-wracking.  We were both a little bit worried about all of those expectations, and being work colleagues, we had a lot to lose if it didn't work-out.  But it did!  Being together as a couple felt totally natural, and it was (and is) wonderful.

I met my guy online and about 2 months after we had been talking i tok the plunge and flew over. I was terrified.  We had sent pictures and talked on the phone and i knew i loved the person i'd been talking to, but was so afraid that was not going to be the person i met when i got there.  I got my own room in a bed and breakfast and was set to spend the week alone if needed.  I remember being so nervous calling him to tell him i was there and to come and meet me.  He told me on the walk to the b&b he turned around and started to go back home but just couldn't do that to me.  We had a bit of an awkward couple of hours, went for a walk in the park and just sat with each other, after that, no worries.  We got married in April and have a baby coming.  It does work out even if the first few hours or even days are not exactly what you might picture.  We laugh about it now as far as him turning around and what he would have missed

Just remember that when you do finally get to see him again, even if it's a bit weird at first, even for some who have been in ldr's for a long time have that first day of adjustment to just being back together again, its normal and nothing to worry about.