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Topic: Meeting my future mother-in-law.  (Read 1956 times)

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Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« on: June 28, 2006, 06:03:03 AM »
So sometime in early August my bf and I are going to be going to PA so I can meet his mom, sister, and other relatives/friends. We'll be staying with her for a week.

I'm kind of nervous-I've only talked to her on the phone once and she went on and on about how she wanted to teach me to play golf. (She is a golf fanatic, I hate it, even putt-putt. luckily, bf told her that later when I wasn't around!)

Meeting her is one thing, but we'll be staying there for a whole week. So if she doesn't like me/we dont get along/ anything goes wrong, I'm stuck.
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~Mark Twain

Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2006, 08:25:54 AM »
I'm sure you'll make a great impression and get along fine...now that she knows not to force you into any golfing situation :D  When I met my fiances parent's he was already over here in the UK (he's American) and I had to go solo...talk about nervewracking, but we hit it off great!  That was a year ago.  The next time I will see them is at my wedding  :o
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Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2006, 08:38:33 AM »
Was it Ann Landers or Dear Abby who said that Visitors and fish stink after 3 days ?
Im not sure that staying for a whole week is a good idea... especially for a first-time meeting.
Is there any way around this?
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Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2006, 08:46:10 AM »
He hasn't been home since December. We are driving up there from Tennessee, and it's a long way. We will be getting engaged sometime soon (I have no clue when, but before the end of the year) so I probably should meet his family. I'm just happy he told her I don't like golf!

I thought about suggesting we stay at a hotel, but I dont think that would go over well (as his mom is Southern-Bible-belt-morals), at least not for the first time I visit.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2006, 08:51:39 AM by ImissEngland »
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~Mark Twain

Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2006, 08:51:26 AM »
No, no.... i didnt mean that you shouldnt MEET them.
But staying with them for a week is maybe a bit much, as you suggested in your original post.
His parents might be feeling just as uncomfortable about it!
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Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2006, 09:00:08 AM »
And honestly, if you want to really charm her, go play a game of putt-putt!
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Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2006, 09:01:34 AM »
Quote from: balmerhon on June 28, 2006, 09:00:08 AM
And honestly, if you want to really charm her, go play a game of putt-putt!

 ;)
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Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2006, 12:11:38 PM »
The best advice anyone has given me about this situation is to just act like you really love their son, which shouldn't be too tricky.  :)  It really is true.  If you show them that you really care about him, that often smooths the path.  Everyone hopes their child finds love, show her he has.
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Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2006, 11:39:14 PM »
I met my future inlaws when my mother and I went to stay with them (and my now husband) for 3 weeks! It was interesting, but over the years (met them over 6 years ago now) we really hit it off. I cried when they all left the airport after the wedding, not only because my husband was leaving, but it felt as though half of my family was as well. Its not really as bad as it seems, and if you don't hit it off then you'll know and be able to deal with it from there.
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Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2006, 07:04:06 AM »
My "English mum" (the lady I lived with in M'cr) wrote me the sweetest email today. She said that everything would be fine, and that she was sure my bf's mum would grow to love me the same way she does, as a daughter.  :\\\'(
(ok, now that just made me more homesick for england!!)


His mom is the one who suggested we stay for a week, since bf hasnt been back to PA in a while. (because of school/work/gas prices) If things got bad, there is always the option of switching to staying at a hotel.


And I think I would rather die than suffer through a game of putt putt. Maybe I can teach her tennis.
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Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2006, 08:41:22 AM »
Sheesh, am I ever on this one with ya! I'm not meeting the future MIL until after my permanent move to the UK!  :o I'm just hoping we get along!

Since you're going for a week, I say try to get some "you" or "you and bf" time in there - even if it's just a walk after dinner or begging off for an early night and reading in bed!! Nothing helps me more on a long strange visit than slipping away into some quiet time. :)
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Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #11 on: July 25, 2006, 06:13:36 AM »
We've managed to schedule some "us" time...we found really cheap flights from PA to NYC.  :D We'll spend a few days with his mom, go to NYC, then go back to PA to spend more time with his mom, before driving back to TN via KY so he can meet my dad.
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~Mark Twain

Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2006, 09:57:53 AM »
That sounds like a good plan.  A sort of stress relief for just the two of you.  Meeting parents is stressful!
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Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #13 on: July 25, 2006, 02:01:06 PM »
That sounds like an ideal plan  :)
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Re: Meeting my future mother-in-law.
« Reply #14 on: July 25, 2006, 02:08:45 PM »
stayed with my future in laws for a month, but dh planned it so he had  fridays and mondays off. We had long weekends together  and were able to travel  quite a bit.  My in laws are more hands off and laid back  so  the stay was actualy quite pleasant. I think
I enjoyed that time with them than I do now.  :-X
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