My sons' friend and his mother

dude, that's my terrain!

ha ha! Well I thought the same thing when nc73 wrote it! I had to double check the username because it's exactly what you would say!

I'm confident I made the right decision. I just know there's going to be a problem eventually. Our close is very small and she has the reputation for being the 'yente' or busy body of the street. 

If she's the busy body on the street then maybe her tacky a$$ will get a clue why you and your kids are staying away from them. 

I am going to be the odd one out here. I am sure my view comes as a side effect from my job but I have to share it anyway.
I think saying your kids can't be around the kids is an overreaction. It is not their fault that they have a mother who uses language that is not acceptable in most of our society. The fact is likely it has always been acceptable in her life.

I would allow my child to play with the children as long as I was present to reinforce my family's views on these things. It would do a world of good for your children to learn that not everyone in the world fits a certain mold...and it would also be helpful for the neighbourhood children to learn the same thing.

I wouldn't confront the mom- but I wouldn't necessarily avoid her either; except when she was using inappropriate language in front of my child then I would move them away from the situation.

So anyway---there are my thoughts , a bit different from most.

It's not just the mother, H. The kids have sewer mouths also and I don't ever want my kids to think it's ok for them to speak like that to anyone especially their own mother!

It's not just the mother, H. The kids have sewer mouths also and I don't ever want my kids to think it's ok for them to speak like that to anyone especially their own mother!

I am sure they do--- it is all they know. I guess the point I am making is that I would invite them into my home if my kids enjoyed playing with them, but in my home it is my rules. The language wouldn't be allowed by the kids, it wouldn't be made a huge issue but very matter of factly I would let them know that language isn't used in our house- you reinforce the message to your kids and give these kids a chance to learn not everyone finds that language acceptable.

I am sure they do--- it is all they know. I guess the point I am making is that I would invite them into my home if my kids enjoyed playing with them, but in my home it is my rules. The language wouldn't be allowed by the kids, it wouldn't be made a huge issue but very matter of factly I would let them know that language isn't used in our house- you reinforce the message to your kids and give these kids a chance to learn not everyone finds that language acceptable.

There is a point there.  If you decide to let those kids be around yours then you have the opportunity to tell them that their language is unacceptable and wrong and not to be used if they want to continue playing with your kids.  It could possibly be that they will see how wrong it is if they are called on it everytime.  The mother is a different story, but I myself probably would have said something to her about it, not saying that that's what you should have done.

There is a point there.  If you decide to let those kids be around yours then you have the opportunity to tell them that their language is unacceptable and wrong and not to be used if they want to continue playing with your kids.

That might work .. or they might go home and tell their mother Ricki is telling them off and that might spark off a confrontation.

I think I'd just avoid them myself.

I think I'd just avoid them myself.

I agree, especially since they live so close to Ricki. 

The little lad has been to my house several times and with the exception of him getting my 3 year old very wild he's been completely respectful. It's just when he's in his own environment ie, his house, playing outside he is out of control.

I appreciate everyone's advice but I think it's best this entire family is avoided. I have four sons to try to bring up properly. Im afraid I don't have the time, the will or the energy to bother with someone elses kids' problems.   

The little lad has been to my house several times and with the exception of him getting my 3 year old very wild he's been completely respectful. It's just when he's in his own environment ie, his house, playing outside he is out of control.

I appreciate everyone's advice but I think it's best this entire family is avoided. I have four sons to try to bring up properly. Im afraid I don't have the time, the will or the energy to bother with someone elses kids' problems.   

I don't blame you.  If the kids come over to play, you'd still have to interact with the mother, which seems to make you uncomfortable.  Their mom probably wouldn't let the kids play at a home where she wasn't welcome too.  I know I'd feel very strange letting my child play in a home where I wasn't welcome.