Help from those who have been apart!!!!!!!!

Where do I begin? I am so so so so frustrated!!!!!!!!!! Long distance relationships are the worst!!!!!!!!!!!! It's exactly 5 days and 2 days before I see my sweetie Stephen and I'm stressed beyond belief. I feel like everything is going downhill. He tells me he loves me, tells me he can't wait to see me, but lately I feel SO insecure. I don't know if it's the distance thing or what! We talk on the phone at least 3 times a day and he tells me loves me constantly. But talking on the phone and being together in person is not the same thing. I hear everything he tells me but I can't see his eyes or feel his arms around me. It's not the same! I'm so stressed that I find myself picking fights with him and wanting to break up with him. I can't even believe he's putting up with my irrational behavior. I try and stop myself and tell myself I'm just being silly, but I can't. I just want to be with him so bad and this is so hard for me. I also tend to be more emotional and sometimes I feel that he doesn't feel the same because he doesn't get as emotional as me. We're seeing each other in June for 10 days and then we'll be seperated again for another 6 weeks before we'll be together permanently in August. I just don't know how to get through this and whether I'll be able to or not. Is what I'm feeling normal or am I just going crazy??? Has anyone else went through this? How on earth do you make it through? grrrrrrrrrr. Sorry for ranting on! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

What you're going through is absolutely normal.  I think we ALL got a bit antsy before visits and picked petty fights with our partners.  What you have to remember is that this is just a stage and YOU ARE SOOOO CLOSE TO THE FINISH LINE!  August isn't that far away...just think back to when you had YEARS until you'd be together permanently...now it's just a matter of of months (or weeks, if that's how you like to count it down!).

Just do the best you can to have good phone conversations between now and then.  It might help to cut down a bit.  I always found that when things were getting touchy/antsy, less phone was more.  Sometimes talking on the phone just reminds you of the fact that he's not there with you and it makes things so much harder. 

Just try to keep things in perspective....your next visit isn't far away at all!   

Wow - honey, search through this section and you'll find a few posts that are almost exactly like yours...especially the bits like "picking fights" and "feel like breaking up" and "why does he put up with me" - and especially "am I going crazy?"!! 

I remember all that when I went through it myself.  Seemed like the separation(s) lasted forever.  And I did exactly the same things - picked fights and had crying sessions and wondered why the heck he was putting up with me at all.

But he did, and we got through it - and so will you!  Just use this place to vent it all out.  And don't for a minute think that he isn't feeling this as intensely as you are.  It's just that men are different creatures and for the most part don't show their feelings the same as we do.  And as my husband and I have come to agree, we never would have gotten to where we are if we both had been as intense as I was!   

Boy oh Boy do I know how you feel ...this has been the longest Mark and I have been apart sense we met in 2001 ..I did the same thing with picking fights last year I thought if he really didn't want to be with me then I would at least know when he told me to Bugger off but I am SOOOOOO VERY Happy THAT HE DIDN'T ,!!!
I do feel  sad and  so very  lonely when were not together even though we too talk 3 to 4 times a day , he calls me every morning before he leaves for work ( thats about 2:30 am my time ) and I love that but would give my eye teeth to be laying next to him for those good morning Honeys and not on the phone but I'm thankful that we can spend so much time on the phone , we only use the PC to write emails every day I wake to one and so does he , we also do web cam  from time to time but that ALWAYS MAKES ME CRY  :\\\'(
( I want so bad for all this long distance crap to be over !!!)..
 he was to be here last month but his father has been sick so he was going to come next month but he'll have to wait to see how things  turn out with his dad and that worrys me to death , he has a wonderful mum & dad and I wish I could just be there now with him .... ....but trust me your not alone with this one I think you'll find that most of us if not all have felt this way too ...
I'm so very happy for you that you'll soon be done with the back and forth thing and be together permanently soon , hope all goes well for you both , I envy you .

best of luck
   Debbie

Like people have said we've all been in your shoes.  I am the WORST right before i see him.  I'll hang up on him.....get agitated and impatient.  When we're together it's bliss.....in a normal way.  The newness lost that totally blissfull feeling months ago!

i'm in the same boat as you, we'll be together for keeps 8/28/04 with a few 3 night visits scheduled between then.  I've never once questioned my relationship.....i've never once wondered if i can do it because he's the perfect person for me.  The days are long and the nights are even longer without him but i know that in exactly 4 months we'll be married.

We keep things special with cards and letters as well as emails and calls.  Small tokens to each other........it's doable when it's right.....you can make it!   

Hiya Texasgal!

Just wanted to second what peedal said- you *will* find that many of our situations mirror what you are feeling now! My hubby and I were in the same situation as many and had to visit back and forth for a few years before I got my work permit and moved to London to live with him. Soo...from November 1999 (when we confessed our love!) to December 2001 (when I moved over), I had plenty of time to be anxious and insecure- and I was! I think my hubby is a saint to deal with me hehe

Being apart from the person you love makes your heart physically ache- and we all can understand that first hand.
All the best to you- hang in there!

JEn

*wiping a tear from my eye*

This place is a godsend. Thanks everyone for the kind words and support. It's so wonderful to be able to talk about these things with people who have been through the same thing. It's so hard but reading your posts have made my day a little easier.  I know I can do this. I just have to be strong. Thanks again everyone!

Texasgal,
I read your post and I felt it was almost word for word identical to one I had posted a few months ago. I've been really lucky in that I haven't had to go more that 4 weeks without seeing my boyfriend. But he travels a lot for work, and it gets really, really frustrating to me, not to be able to pick up the phone anytime I want and talk to him
So I pick fights, and get angry, and get even angrier when I am mad at him and can't tell him I am mad....a totally vicious cycle that was not only hurting myself, but him as well. But I am working on it. When I hear myself  getting down, I will oftentimes get off the phone with him. Not, of course, without telling I love him, but I have to get off, because I will say something I may regret. But.....
It seems no matter what problems we have, he always looks me in the eyes, almost the moment we see one another, and tells me it will be OK.
I think insecurity comes with the territory. And me telling you to just believe is not that easy, but you should. I mean it must be love, to endure this sort of pain in seperation, right?
I have only one small suggestion....retail therapy.