Anyone heard a good joke lately?

I get a lot of jokes sent to me through emails and I wanted to share a few with everyone, and I encourage you to post a good joke of your own (please try and keep it as clean as possible)

I got this one yesterday on text

" I am in an absolute rage, some jerk smashed into my car with one of those new Skoda's, there was marzipan and sponge cake everywhere!"


Ha Ha ok it was lame but maybe you have a better joke.

Hillary was going on about "I'm going to stay in the race and I'm going to go all the way to the convention" The bar tender replies, "Ok lady but it is 3 am and I've got to close up and go home"
Bush's daughter got married last Saturday. She said it was the happiest day of her life. She was able to get rid of the the Bush name. (that was mean)
I get these jokes from the Jay Leno Tonight Show.

I've got a couple of related jokes that aren't necessarily funny but they are very clean.  You can tell these to anyone of any age, as long as they are old enough to understand components of atoms.

Joke #1:  An atom walks into a bar and slides up onto a barstool, looking a bit down.  The bartender asks, "Why are you looking so sad?" The atom replies, "I think I've lost an electron."  The bartender says, "Are you sure?" and the atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive."

Joke #2:  A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a pint of beer?"  The bartender replies, "For you?  No charge!"

Ba-dum-bum!

Ba-dum-bum!

Heeee! I'm enough of a geek that I thought those were fantastic! 

Thanks, chary!

The fact that I hear loads of jokes all the time, yet am never able to remember them, except these two - which I heard something like 10 years ago - says something about my geekiness!     

What did the hat say to the bra when they were late to attend a party??

"I'll go on a head and you can give those two a lift"

Two elephants walk off a cliff...BOOM BOOM