Should I or Shouldn't I?

Long distance?  Check.
Relationship?  There's the question.

Some of you may remember that I'm planning to eventually emigrate to the UK as an investor/entrepreneur.  That's still my preferred method of getting a visa: the spousal route would add too much complication to a relationship for me to be comfortable with.

However, I think I may have found myself in a common situation here: a definite friendship with at least a fringe of flirting with an English lass has developed on a forum (about Aston Villa).  We're friends on facebook, and I made a drunken (but fairly quickly deleted) post on Christmas Eve about her.  I have no idea if she saw the post.

I'm planning to go over to Birmingham in a couple of months to see Villa [wreck Spurs, hopefully in both the UEFA Cup and the League] and will be meeting her along with a few guys that she goes to the games with.

Should I come out and say that I fancy her?

Complicating this is a recent thread on the forum about a guy who had a friendly drink set up with a girl he had been chatting with online for a few days that he really fancied and was in the same basic dilemma as me.

This whole thing has brought me back to junior high... I thought I had gotten past this point half a life ago (I'm nearly 27)!

Aww how cute!  Your answer is simple - DUH!  Do tell what the Christmas Eve post on Facebook said?

You should definetly tell her.  Dont be a wussy. Whats the worst that can happen? The truth is that any girl likes to hear that she has an admirer and even if she isnt thinking right now that she fancies (is that a word?) you, your telling her will make her think about it... which could lead to...

Although I do have to offer a disclaimer: I have no idea how realistic your investor/entrepreneur immigration plans are, but if you are dead set against moving to the UK on a spousal visa, and if your other plans are kind of "dreamy", then dont start this whole thing.  I have horrible images of you in 2 years when you and Fancy Girl are madly in love and you tell her "I will not apply for a spousal visa" even if that is the only way you can be together.   (does that make even an ounce of sense??)

Oh and second disclaimer: I dont really follow football, but I have been told I must be a Spurs fan, so um.. Go Spurs?

Good luck to you.

Although I do have to offer a disclaimer: I have no idea how realistic your investor/entrepreneur immigration plans are, but if you are dead set against moving to the UK on a spousal visa, and if your other plans are kind of "dreamy", then dont start this whole thing. 

I'm not deadset against it, but it's a definite second choice.

How can you "fancy" somebody you have never met? Sounds to me like you fancy the idea of her. projection, as the psychs call it. You might meet her and find that she doesn't do very much for you in the flesh, or that she picks her nose, and (maybe this isn't such a clincher for an American   ) have you ever heard a Brummie speak?

On the other hand, she might be gorgeous, intelligent, fit as a fiddle, and find the Mass. accent deeply sexy...

she fancies (is that a word?) you

it's a word!

I don't think you should make a decision about whether or not to tell her until you've spent some time in person with her. I'm sure the answer will become clear to you then. Don't rush in and say something you might regret to someone you barely know ... but, by the same token, if it ends up that you really do fancy her, then don't deprive yourself of something that might turn out to be great.

How can you "fancy" somebody you have never met? Sounds to me like you fancy the idea of her. projection, as the psychs call it. You might meet her and find that she doesn't do very much for you in the flesh, or that she picks her nose, and (maybe this isn't such a clincher for an American   ) have you ever heard a Brummie speak?

On the other hand, she might be gorgeous, intelligent, fit as a fiddle, and find the Mass. accent deeply sexy...

I'm with Contrex on this one. I think at most, you fancy the idea of her just now. Especially since you give no indication that she has the faintest idea that you do, nor that she's given any hint of reciprocal "fanciness" (yeah, just made that up, I think  ).

Why not just take your trip as planned and see how things go. She might be your dream girl and the two of your hit it off and become soul mates.

But that's a lot of pressure when you haven't even embarked on so much as a long distance relationship. I know, I know. Your heart goes pitter patter whenever you think of her. But for all intents and purposes, she's not even real.

ETA:  Speaking as a girl, on the rare occassion when I've found myself in a situation where a guy professed fancying immediately upon our first face-to-face meeting, I ran! It excelerated the one-sided "relationship" to the status of him being a stalker and I always wondered where he got the notion that...well, you know what I mean.

How can you "fancy" somebody you have never met? Sounds to me like you fancy the idea of her. projection, as the psychs call it. You might meet her and find that she doesn't do very much for you in the flesh, or that she picks her nose, and (maybe this isn't such a clincher for an American   ) have you ever heard a Brummie speak?

On the other hand, she might be gorgeous, intelligent, fit as a fiddle, and find the Mass. accent deeply sexy...

Well, I did, and so did my DH - fancied each other before ever meeting, that is.  And he's a Brummie too yet!!!!   

Still, I tend to agree with the others - you certainly don't need to tell her anything until you've actually met and sussed things out a bit.  It does happen that people are very close to being the same in real life as they are on-line - this could be the case for both of you.  It may not lead to a great romance, but it could lead to a wonderful continuing friendship.

I wish I had an acutal definition of the word "fancy"... To me (as an American) when someone says they "fancy" someone, I would take that as they just like the person and/or have an interest in dating.  But it sounds like from the other posters, that when you say you fancy someone it means more than that... so... if that is the case, go with what they say. 

... It may not lead to a great romance, but it could lead to a wonderful continuing friendship.

And you don't want to spoil the chances of what might just be a life-long really cool friendship by scaring her off on first sight. Go slow.

I met a guy a long, long time ago over a blind date, that I really was dreamy over. Our first "date" was over the phone. Our second was for lunch; then dinner, ice skating, yada, yada.

The first time we kissed, though: Argh! It's not at all that he wasn't a great kisser. It's just that whatever the opposite of chemistry is, that's what we had. 

But the good news is, we've been best friends ever since and occassionally laugh about that. He danced at my wedding (which he attended with his girlfriend). I'd have just stopped seeing him immediately if he'd come on to me too fast (even though I really thought I liked him that way, too). And so would have missed out on this near life-long friendship.

I wish I had an acutal definition of the word "fancy"... To me (as an American) when someone says they "fancy" someone, I would take that as they just like the person and/or have an interest in dating.  But it sounds like from the other posters, that when you say you fancy someone it means more than that... so... if that is the case, go with what they say. 

Maybe it's a US/UK language difference, but in the UK, if a person "fancies" someone, it definitely means that they are sexually attracted to that person. Turned on by their physical presence. So if you ask someone for a date, it is understood that you fancy them, and that they might fancy you, but the date is when you find out if you actually like each other as well. At least that is how I have always seen it.

In regards to liking someone you've never met...I think it's possible. Alot of people meet online and like the person before they meet them in real life.

As an American whenever I hear "fancy" I assume it's liking someone.

Have you actually carried on a conversation with this girl besides on the forum? Like on the phone or messanger or cam? I think you really need to speak to someone before you can say you like them. You prolly think she's interesting and you'd like to get to know her better...which alot of people consider liking...