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Topic: feeling so sad  (Read 1797 times)

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feeling so sad
« on: December 01, 2008, 11:52:20 AM »
I am feeling so sad, so lonely, I cannot even begin to describe it, and I guess part of it is my own doing which only goes to make me feel even worse than ever. A bit of background, I guess, will help you understand. I'm a brit married to an American. To cut a long story short, my husband overstayed in the UK for 3 years, he went back early this year to finally get things sorted. We were given inacurate advise and as a result did not disclose the overstay on the application. He came clean on the phone interview and his visa was refused.
We are in the process of applying for the visa again, but I have all but convinced myself that they will refuse us again, even though this time we will tell the whole truth.
How I get through each day I will never know, I miss him more than words can say and I cry myself to sleep every night. I cannot think of anything else but this, I torture myself, wishing we had done things differently, why didn't we get better advise, why didn't we just read up a bit more.
We have been apart 6 months, before this we hadn't been apart for more than a day. We were joined at the hip, we did everything together, we are so in love. Maybe that's why he overstayed, we couldn't bear the thought of being apart.
I don't know what I will do if he is refused again, I don't know how I will cope, I am bearly holding myself together, the only thing that keeps me going is that little string of hope, that maybe, just maybe it will be OK, maybe he will get his visa.
Why is life like this, if only I had fallen in love with another Brit we wouldn't have this problem now, but I didn't, I fell in love with him. He is my world and the world is a lonely place without him.
I am so sorry, I am so unbelievably sorry that we didn't come clean, we didn't know, we were misinformed. We haven't done anything wrong and now we are paying, paying with our lives.
If anyone out there reading this has reservations about disclosing an overstay, please think of us, and just tell them, if only we had, maybe I wouldn't be writing this now.


  • Jewlz
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Re: feeling so sad
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2008, 12:01:37 PM »
Awww.... so sorry things are so hard for you.  I know it's hard to be apart, my British hubby and I had to have a long distance relationship for a year, which is a short amount of time compared to some on this forum.  Still, it was killing us to be apart.  Is there some way you could get a visa to go to the US and live with him there instead?  There are many others here who have advice to give on visas, etc., and I am afraid I have none for your special circumstance.  Just feeling for you and hoping things get better soon.
Do you have webcams, at least?  I know being able to see each other on the webcams made being apart so much easier than it would've been otherwise. 
Good luck!!! 


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Re: feeling so sad
« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2008, 12:24:51 PM »
I am so sad for you, lonelyone. I have no legal expertise to offer, others here will, but I hope things get resolved for you and your husband very soon; it must be heartbreaking.

Just wishing a hug of support to you.
*Repatriated Brit undergoing culture shock with the rest of you!*


Re: feeling so sad
« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2008, 05:09:43 PM »
Awwww.....BIG HUGS for you!!  Can't offer any advice on the visa but I'm so sorry you have to go through this.  I think almost everyone in this forum has had to be physically separated from their significant other at some point in time...so we can all empathize with you right now.  Wish there was something else I could say or do to make you feel better.  Good luck with everything!


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Re: feeling so sad
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2008, 06:54:46 AM »
 I am so sorry this is all going on hun. Wish I could fix this situation for anyone going thru it. Am not in the exact same situation (I overstayed over there, had come in on a tourist visa and had our daughter there, so now I am back in the US awaiting my visa while they are both in Scotland. He can't even come over since the consulate has his passport.) I know how you feel. My hubby and I did pretty much everything together too, from when we met in person.
 If his visa doesn't get approved this time I would look into you getting a visa for the US. So long as you haven't overstayed here, and barring anything majorly illegal on your record it is fairly easy to get into the US (especially seeing as you two aren't newly married.) Don't have any personal experience in this, but have a lot of friends/family who are military and have married foreigners(my brother has done it 2 of his 3 marriages :P) It could just be easier since they are military, but at least it does give you another option. Also...why don't you come for a visit? If it's ok financially at least, that would give you three months here.
 I hope everything gets resolved quickly for you!
~Ange
9/04 Met on-line
11/07 Married
12/3/08 FLR(M) APPROVED
Here on Leave to Remain. Will apply for UKC and get UK passport once I can swallow how much more money the UK Govt wants from me. Or when my US passport expires.


Re: feeling so sad
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2008, 03:35:00 AM »
Definitely post for advice on the visa forum. There might be other solutions as well such as a third country.

I hope that you two can work something out. LDRs are tough. My husband and I had one for years.


  • Jewlz
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Re: feeling so sad
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2008, 11:34:57 AM »
I could be wrong, but this scenario sounds really familiar, it seems the OP's husband has put up a similar post on here somewhere...  ???  Or maybe I'm just crazy.  Anyway, if I am correct in thinking that, I am pretty sure they already received some advice from Vicky and the others, and perhaps that is the reason they haven't replied here.  If anyone else knows what I am talking about and can find the link, please post it... thanks!!!


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Re: feeling so sad
« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2008, 11:49:42 AM »
I could be wrong, but this scenario sounds really familiar, it seems the OP's husband has put up a similar post on here somewhere...  ???  Or maybe I'm just crazy.  Anyway, if I am correct in thinking that, I am pretty sure they already received some advice from Vicky and the others, and perhaps that is the reason they haven't replied here.  If anyone else knows what I am talking about and can find the link, please post it... thanks!!!

Yes I thought I noticed the same thing -- it sounded like the other half of the couple had also posted; I know the one you mean but can't find the link.
*Repatriated Brit undergoing culture shock with the rest of you!*


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