What was your Long Distance Relationship like?

Does being in an LDR after you get married count? I'm in the US now, and DH is in the UK. I've been here a month and we've got another 3ish to go.

It sucks.

Whenever I'm in the "staring at the clock" mode - I think about how fast it's going to become a distant memory once that time it up.  Obviously, it's different when you've got little ones who are missing dad too.  But it's become like a shot of tranquilizer into my brain to imagine myself in my best case senario, and put things into the greater perspective.  Three months is really just a flash in the big picture, and at least you guys are moving towards your best case senario!

I miss how much we used to talk, I think we have started taking it for granted that the other person is there and don't say as much as we used to. I also do miss the excitement of seeing each other after customs. I have no desire to be in an LDR again, though. I am still paying off the flights...

Whenever I'm in the "staring at the clock" mode - I think about how fast it's going to become a distant memory once that time it up.  Obviously, it's different when you've got little ones who are missing dad too.  But it's become like a shot of tranquilizer into my brain to imagine myself in my best case senario, and put things into the greater perspective.  Three months is really just a flash in the big picture, and at least you guys are moving towards your best case senario!

Good advice, thank you! I'm in the same situation as balmerhon (except minus the little one) and it's pretty tough at the moment. You're so right though, before I know it this will be a memory, so I should focus on enjoying life and what will be.

I don't really qualify to answer the OP question as I am STILL in an LDR, even though recently married. But soon enough I will chime in. I can say, however, that mine has been more of the long periods of waiting followed by expensive trips. While some parts have definately been memorable and make a great story, I would not choose to do it like that again. A cabin in Sweden though?!?! Way jealous!

Does being in an LDR after you get married count? I'm in the US now, and DH is in the UK. I've been here a month and we've got another 3ish to go.

It sucks.

Of course!  Mine starts Monday.  :\\\'(

Of course!  Mine starts Monday.  :\\\'(

(((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))

We made our LDR bearable.  Thank goodness for technology!  We IM'd with web cam, so we could at least "see" each other.  During the week was hard because by the time I got home from work, he was just going to bed!  So we did a lot of emailing in-between IM and phone calls.

We were always eagerly anticipating the next IM session! 

I do miss some of the excitement a LDR can offer, but being with each other in the real-time is better than a few stolen moments of togetherness online.  Besides, we can still keep things interesting much better now that we are together.

After 2 years I am still in the midst of it.... I have just said goodbye to my love at Manchester airport this morning. He has flown back to the US after 4 lovely months together. This has been the longest we have been together. I have been out there 3 times for a couple of weeks at a time...

The distance seems to get harder the more we get to spend time together. I do find the initial physical parting (as at the moment) very difficult. I got back to the empty house and cried and cried and still do so and will probably do so for sometime yet. At these times it is lonely, intense and so so hard. However, once he gets the internet back online (hopefully in a coupleof days) and once we get the initial 'coldness' of the webcam after such physical closeness, we shall be fine  hopefully!

I do find when we get back to webchats and emails, because of the shortness in time we have and the time difference etc.. we do become more focussed, chat like never before and pour out our hearts like never before and, for me, this has meant (I hope) some solid foundations have been made.

I do want to get to the 'what was it like' bit and out of the 'I am in it' but know it will be like this for some time. But as folks have said the internet helps! And it is what it is... things will unfold as they are meant to be and I just have to be patient!

Meanwhile I shall pop on here occasionally to catch up on 'happy' stories where people have made it out of the 'long distant' phase! Hopefull I will too 

Blessings
xx

It has been the most exciting,thrilling,happy,sad, emotional time of my life...I have been in it for 5 years and hopefully it will have a happy ending..we are getting married in August...in the beginning of the relationship it is new and exciting and you have the added excitement of going to a different country and seeing a different way of life..but as time goes on and you both visit back and forth and your feelings for one another deepen there are a lot of choices to make...about your relationship and your love and your future...after awhile the saying goodbye and not seeing him for a few months at a time was killing me and making me depressed...sure talk on the phone for hours at a time but it isn't the same as him being here with me...and then we have had our share of ups and downs with me getting bounced in August...but we worked thru it all..the pain of th separation and figuring out the next step..I think what is even worse is not being able to explain to anyone how you feel because they don't understand your situation...if I hadn't found UK Yankee I don't know if I would have made it thru...but in the end it will all be worth it...I know that at the end of all of this we will be together and never have to part and that is what keeps me going...so I see the separation as temporary...My advice to anyone is follow your heart and your gut...I didn't go out looking for an LDR it just found me...

JEP -
Thanks so much for that post!

I read it with much hope and am so happy for your future wedding! It is just as you say. And, after 4 months being together and he returning to the US two weeks ago I have been going through that hard transition stage of going from the physical to the *internet* phone calls emails relationship again.

That separation and saying goodbye has gotten harder... When he left everything has been *the first time without*...the first time waking up, the first time having breakfast alone, the first time coming home from work and he not being there... the waiting for email, webchats and today, the first time he goes to visit his teenage children and former partner hoping he does return home...
I find the waiting the hardest.. I am a worrier by nature anyway and this, I am sure, does not good for me blood pressure!! But reading your post made me smile.

I am happy for you and it sounds like you, as many of us, have been through ups, downs, ups and a whole load of emotions too! But you show that through following your gut and heart that it can work out!

x

I miss how much we used to talk, I think we have started taking it for granted that the other person is there and don't say as much as we used to. I also do miss the excitement of seeing each other after customs. I have no desire to be in an LDR again, though. I am still paying off the flights...

Thank you for saying exactly what I'm feeling right now. It's always nice to have your feelings validated! 

Thank you for saying exactly what I'm feeling right now. It's always nice to have your feelings validated! 

I'll validate them some more- what Belita described happened to us too!  I used to think something was wrong because we never talked anymore, but it wasn't that we didn't talk, we just talked less because we were actually physically near each other.  Cuddles speak louder than words anyway, so that made up for it.

... and cuddles say things that words cannot possibly say.   Even when we are together on trips or visits, we speak less than we do when we are apart, but I've never taken it as a bad sign - its just that you can squeeze your person's hand rather than say "I miss you" or give him/her that smile instead of trying to express in words how much you adore them.  Of course, the words are still important, but I do think there is a difference between taking eachother for granted and simply not having to TALK so much because you can do everything else together.

I'll validate them some more- what Belita described happened to us too!  I used to think something was wrong because we never talked anymore, but it wasn't that we didn't talk, we just talked less because we were actually physically near each other.  Cuddles speak louder than words anyway, so that made up for it.

THANK YOU!!! It's such a strange adjustment. I was really careful not to build it up to be some fairy tale before I moved here, but yeah, I guess I hadn't considered this bit. It also doesn't help that I don't have a job and have no real life of my own just yet. I can typically yammer on about a whole lot of nothing, but I'm even finding that difficult! I know once I get more settled and less reliant on him I will feel better.

THANK YOU!!! It's such a strange adjustment. I was really careful not to build it up to be some fairy tale before I moved here, but yeah, I guess I hadn't considered this bit. It also doesn't help that I don't have a job and have no real life of my own just yet. I can typically yammer on about a whole lot of nothing, but I'm even finding that difficult! I know once I get more settled and less reliant on him I will feel better.

(((hugs)))