Reactions to us as a married couple

Oh no Chary, I look younger than 19?  I'm 21 in two months lol.

It's a good thing. Trust me. 

Wait till you are over 40 and people ask you why you don't have children or if you are planning to have children

Yep.  In fact, people asked me that when I was in my 30's and not yet married! 

Trust me..its just a cultural thing.

On the whole Americans are pretty conservative and so are the Brits. Brits can seem cold and aloof on some matters and yet it is acceptable to ask probing questions about other matters.The whole thing around the questions people ask you is really a traditional Brit conversation starter which does appear rude but isnt intended to be.

Its a bit like the traditional British weather conversation but different..

The idea is,they learn that you married early,,they then ask a probling (seemingly rude) question but has an aire of feigned concern but the background sub text is that they find it really interesting and theyd like you to expand the conversation about how you met and all the other stuff..


There are quite a few similar conversational games/social nuances which are peculiar to the Brits and which are instantly recognisable amongst fellow Brits but totally lost on others.

The wrong thing to do would be to admonish them for being rude as this would be tantamount to a smack in the face. Just smile,expand the conversation and all will flow well !

Trust me..its just a cultural thing.

On the whole Americans are pretty conservative and so are the Brits. Brits can seem cold and aloof on some matters and yet it is acceptable to ask probing questions about other matters.The whole thing around the questions people ask you is really a traditional Brit conversation starter which does appear rude but isnt intended to be.

Its a bit like the traditional British weather conversation but different..

The idea is,they learn that you married early,,they then ask a probling (seemingly rude) question but has an aire of feigned concern but the background sub text is that they find it really interesting and theyd like you to expand the conversation about how you met and all the other stuff..


There are quite a few similar conversational games/social nuances which are peculiar to the Brits and which are instantly recognisable amongst fellow Brits but totally lost on others.

The wrong thing to do would be to admonish them for being rude as this would be tantamount to a smack in the face. Just smile,expand the conversation and all will flow well !

I do know what you mean as I have been questioned (probed, interrogated, etc.) on occasion at social gatherings, but just because someone finds you interesting doesn't mean you should be an open book to them if you feel it's none of their business and would rather not make your personal life a topic of conversation just because they are curious about you.
You could let them know this, with a smile of course, to soften the blow.

Yep.  In fact, people asked me that when I was in my 30's and not yet married!  

The thing is, if  you are over a certain age and you don't have children, there is a good chance that it is because you haven't been able to have children, whether for physical reasons or because of other circumstances in your life.

The question shows a complete lack of sensitivity.

The thing is, if  you are over a certain age and you don't have children, there is a good chance that it is because you haven't been able to have children, whether for physical reasons or because of other circumstances in your life.

The question shows a complete lack of sensitivity.

Exactly.  Not one of our family members has ever asked (and I love them more for it!), but in the past year, a lot of people have asked rather aggressively and won't let the conversation die when I am obviously not interested in answering the question.

These days, I just look at the person and say "Wow!" and look at them as if they've just stepped in dog sh!t.  The convo usually ends there.  It works for all manner of inappropriate lines of questioning. 
 

I do know what you mean as I have been questioned (probed, interrogated, etc.) on occasion at social gatherings, but just because someone finds you interesting doesn't mean you should be an open book to them if you feel it's none of their business and would rather not make your personal life a topic of conversation just because they are curious about you.
You could let them know this, with a smile of course, to soften the blow.

I agree with you Andee. That's exactly how I feel. Why should I be an open book to somebody just because they ask me a question? People that ask me these things are usually not close friends or people that I really want to form friendships with anyways.

I get this too and Im not even married. My bf and I have been together for 5 1/2 years we got together 3 months before we graduated hs. They either think were stupid for being together so long (his british gma holds this opinion) or they want to know when we are getting married and having kids :/ lol. Boy and I dont want to get married till we can afford it and we dont want kids at all. another thing that makes ppl look at us cross eyed. ive just accepted it. But, at least in the U.S, I have seen a lot of young married class. I think half my hs class is married and having kids and I graduated in 05.

People think that because we are younger (both in our early twenties) we aren't meant to last. Well, we have been together for 4 years this year and gone through every emotional obstacle you could think of! However, an older couple that has met and married within 6 months has more validity than we do. It's so annoying. My fiancee calms me though, and says we aren't there to prove anything to anybody. If someone figures out we are a couple, we aren't lovey dovey in public, but it is obvious we are together then it's ok for them to ask.

I may be young, but I have gone through all those dumb younger teen mistakes, impatience, regret, and pain to know that this will stick for at least more than 10 years lol.

My husband and I were both 21 when we got married. My family didn't bat an eye (infact they were surprised that one of us finally got married without being pregnant / already having kids, I'm sure!) but his was not as accepting in the beginning. They are fine now, though.

Strangers annoy me the most. Especially since I rarely wear my wedding ring and it seems like they always look at my ring finger. As if wearing a wedding ring somehow makes it more "official".

It doesn't help I could pass for sixteen most days, either.

Just posting to say that I get it

I got this both in the US *and* the UK! (Except from in-laws, they married at 23 and 21, we were 24 and 25.)

I just tell them I know a good thing when I've found it and I know to hold on to it.