LDR's Vs. Same city?!

  Hey everybody!! Not sure if this would be the correct place to post this(if not feel free to move!). Sorry if this or something similar has been posted!!

  So today i was thinking about the differences between a LDR and a same city relatinoship, besides the obvious issues! So really this post is a semi poll or a place to give you opinion ..experience.
   
  My thoughts are that if we can get threw the distance, and the other hardships that will come, we can tackle anything, have a stronger foundation and longer lasting relationship! With that being said i think we would have a better appreciation for each other and the relationship then we would in the same city(maybe not true, my opinion). I know in some of my previous relationships some ended by me, only to realize too late(later on) That i took her or us for granted! Maybe im just still young (24) but the saying you don't realize what u have until you lose it type of thing.

 Well so far being in a LDR and having just weeks at a time to see each other, i know what i have before hand, instead of finding out later. We don't take our time for granted one bit and i know you all don't neither!

  My question to you guys would be, do you find this to be true? Comparing your relationships to past ones. For those of you who have been together for years and even married, have you found your bond to be stronger? Appreciate it each other more, anything along those lines? Do you think these relationships(if u make it threw) are longer lasting? Please share your opinions, and experiences!

I married my LDR and was divorced within two years.   Although I thought I knew everything about him from all those letters and long phonecalls...the truth was, you really cannot know someone until you've lived with them day to day.  You'd be surprised how quickly life with an LDR in real life quickly turns to quite normal and sometimes mundane like everyone else on the planet...

I was in a long distance relationship (in the states) for 1.5 years. It hurt like hell, but then when he moved in with me, it was like any other relationship but he held it over my head that he moved 1500 miles for me and that I should have to worship him . That relationship lasted a total of 5 years, but it should have ended much sooner, but the fact that he had moved down to me, away from his home and family and friends, actually was part of the reason we kept it together for so long.

You'd be surprised how quickly life with an LDR in real life quickly turns to quite normal and sometimes mundane like everyone else on the planet...

Agreed with this.  My husband and I were in an LDR for just over a year, but once we moved in together it quite quickly turned into just a normal, everyday relationship. I don't really feel the LDR gave us some special insight into each other, dealing with it was just an annoyance more than anything.

Vincent and I did a 6.5 year LDR, but lived together for 3 months a year. I find that we DON'T take each other for granted as much as other couples that we know... Not that things aren't normal. We hang out and watch TV everyday, we argue over stupid things sometimes, but it's always in the back of our minds how lucky we are to finally be together.

It does get mundane, but after 6.5 years mundane is HEAVEN.

While there are certain aspects of a person that you *do* learn about from being in an LDR, there's also a lot that you simply can't know until you're doing the day-to-day thing. My husband and I were able to totally focus on the emotional aspect of our relationship while we were long distance because we didn't have to (or didn't have the chance to) deal with the mundane, practical issues of life. Now that I've moved to the UK, I've been focused almost solely on reestablishing my life and dealing primarily with all of those "practical" issues, and spending less time reflecting on the beauty and wonder that is our relationship.   

On the other hand, there are these occasional moments when I realize, "Wow. We actually made it - we're together." Remembering how hard the separation was does make one appreciate those quiet, mundane moments even more.

thanks interesting stuff!!

Agreed with this.  My husband and I were in an LDR for just over a year, but once we moved in together it quite quickly turned into just a normal, everyday relationship. I don't really feel the LDR gave us some special insight into each other, dealing with it was just an annoyance more than anything.

Yup, same thing here. Its a normal everyday relationship, we get up, go to work, juggle the childcare, pay the mortgage, go food shopping. Whereas I really LOVED being in a LDR, really loved it! We did LDR for almost 3 years and it was the best 3 years of my life, I had fun where ever I was, living at home in NY I had a great time with my friends, staying with my (at the time) bf in Manchester, I had a great time. But shortly after getting married...it all became the normal day to day. I love my life in Manchester, and its where I want to be, but man, I would love to have a few months of that LDR fun back again!!!

ha rach, i guess ill enjoy my LDR time! =D Your right its not bad and its quite exciting! Being able to show her around here, or me in london! She lives here life there and i live mine here, but we still know we got each other! Freedom would be the word. Only negative part is the times when u wish they were around but arent!

I have had this discussion with a few of my friends who thought I was crazy for meeting and dating a man who I couldn't have a "real" relationship since he lived in the UK.  Well I didn't plan to have one either - it just happened. 
LDR's are hard for since I am such a physical person and I ant to share life with him and that makes it hard.  We make it work by staying involved with each others lfe - long conversation, skype and real mail sent to each other.  It's not the same as in the same city for me.
Ya know what though - I have learned more about him for the amount we talk abuot and fostered the love for each other in these LDR moments then I ever did with my ex of 7 years!  Now that's sad or maybe it was just meant to be - who knows I believe in Karma...

The best part of LDR if I had to nail 1 or 2 things....1. surprise gifts or things in the mail make me GIDDY!  and 2. of course gearing up to go spend time together and concentrate on us - that day can't come soon enough.

I know me I want the normal mundane daily life together - I want to spend Sunday mornings having coffee and vegging out.  Doing laundry ect.. I am the camp counselor and was made to be a wife and mom just I had never found the right man till now..

Just my 2 cents

I think there are two different things here: the relationship *while* it's long-distance, and the LDR after the couple move in together and have the day-to-day experience. LDRs are special, and tough to navigate, and I think they do lend themselves to being appreciated. Most people wouldn't get into an LDR unless they think that person is worth all the trouble!

But once the long-distance aspect of the relationship is over... no, I don't think the fact that it was once an LDR makes any difference. You might appreciate each other more, but that might just be because they're worth appreciating anyway, and not because they used to be far away.

I think there are two different things here: the relationship *while* it's long-distance, and the LDR after the couple move in together and have the day-to-day experience. LDRs are special, and tough to navigate, and I think they do lend themselves to being appreciated. Most people wouldn't get into an LDR unless they think that person is worth all the trouble!

But once the long-distance aspect of the relationship is over... no, I don't think the fact that it was once an LDR makes any difference. You might appreciate each other more, but that might just be because they're worth appreciating anyway, and not because they used to be far away.

yeah that probably sounds about right, well said!