Paved back gardens, thick blue carpets, 1970s curtains...

BayHorseBlackCat, that was an EPIC post, absolutely hilarious! 

I have one that will make everybody cringe.  

We bought a house with carpet in the bathroom.  Within a week of moving in we noticed it had a horrible smell.  We ripped it up immediately only to notice the linoleum we laid around the toilet wouldn't stick.  Upon further inspection we noticed the bottom of the toilet bowl was cracked.  The whole time the toilet had been leaking onto the carpet and into the floorboards...EWWWW!  Peepee water- YUCK!  How could the previous owners let that one go?!?!?!

I have one that will make everybody cringe.  

We bought a house with carpet in the bathroom.  Within a week of moving in we noticed it had a horrible smell.  We ripped it up immediately only to notice the linoleum we laid around the toilet wouldn't stick.  Upon further inspection we noticed the bottom of the toilet bowl was cracked.  The whole time the toilet had been leaking onto the carpet and into the floorboards...EWWWW!  Peepee water- YUCK!  How could the previous owners let that one go?!?!?!

oh wow. That is horrible.  To think of the bacteria breeding in the dark damp carpeting!  I would've drowned the floor in bleach... and then probably scrubbed myself with it as well.