For all the Mummies / Mommies... (Just for fun - Pregnancy)

My husband made the comment "who ate all the (mince) pies" 'cause I said I'm going to be huge this time around 'cause I have to go through Christmas before I deliver and it made me think to ask all the other Mums out there all the funny things their partners or family and friends have said regarding pregnancy.

Last time around when I started my maternity leave my husband said I looked like a darts player and asked me where the pint and fag were.   

For reference to those who don't know what I'm on about:
-"Who ate all the pies" is a football chant made at fat players.  If you do a YouTube search you'll come up with a few videos
-Darts players were reknowned for having beer bellies and playing with a pint and fag (this is before the smoking ban and I believe they've now banned the alocohol as well).

Not really so much what he said as what he did - When I was 8 months along DH and I took a road trip from FL to Oregon (don't ask. That nesting instinct can be crazy) and I had to pee about every half an hour along the way. Well, sometimes I couldn't wait, so DH would just pull over on the side of the road and I would squat behind the car for a quick pee. Well, after the first couple of times he would pull forward while I was mid flow, with my big pregnant butt waving in the air. EVERY TIME. It's funny now, but it wasn't then. DH thought it was hilarious.

When I was pregnant with DD, DH read everything he could about having a baby.  He also bombarded his mom with questions.  Somehow, even with all that research, he never learned that the birth of the baby was the end of it; the placenta also had to be delivered.  So, about a minute after DD was born, he asked the midwife if it was okay to use his cell phone to call his parents and she obliged.  He calls his dad and then hands me the phone to have a chat as I'm getting ready to deliver the placenta.  I could have killed him!

Okay, we're in bed a few weeks ago:

DH: So, uh, how long does labour last anyway?
Me: (suspicious) How long do you think it lasts?
DH: Uh, I don't know - 10 minutes?
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!

(later he specified that he meant the pushing stage only, but I have been teasing him about it ever since)

Strangely enough I find that I make all the jokes about my big fat tummy! No one else does, which is kind of a let down, because I find them quite funny!