It would be stupid, right?

A good friend of mine is getting married in Boston October 2.  I have been reluctant to tell her whether I was coming or not (because I really wanted to go and I think I'm in some sort of denial).  I JUST started a long-awaited-due-to-visa-circumstances job (that is fantastic by the way).  I would need at least 2 days off  of the new job in order to go to the wedding (friday flights leave during the day and sunday flights don't get in until Monday).  Not to mention, I live in Newcastle and the only reasonable flight I found was out of London for £319 but getting to London is going to cost me at least £100 (via train or plane).  Since I've been here for 7 months without a paycheck, I'm broke.  2 friends have offered to let me borrow the money.  But, I'd get there, and literally have to turn around and come home.  And the hassle of that trip would be horrendous. 

On the other hand, I'm going to be really sad that day when I'm missing it, and knowing all of my closest friends are there without me. 

Short of a flight price miracle. . . I have made up my mind not to go, but I just had to write this to help me feel better.

Can anyone relate?

Can someone please just tell me that I'd be crazy to go?   

well, it is a bit of a flighty trip...and I am sure your friend will understand why you can not be there...  but at the same time...I do not believe you would be crazy to go if you so desired...  so actually you just need to weigh the pros and cons on this one... finances and time constraint is a big con aspect...  while close friends, weddings and your own joy of being there is a big pro...

just remember not to beat yourself up which ever you choose... and if you are sure you are not going to go...then find something to do that day that will keep your attention on your own fun... that way you will not sit around all day and regret your decision not to go.

I guess my question would be:
How good of a friend is she?
Would you be upset if she gave those reasons for not coming to your wedding?

You definitely do not want to regret not going.

She is 1 of about 5 close friends I had at University.  Obviously, we have all drifted a little since we left, but we do make an effort to keep in touch. I'm closer with a couple of the other girls in the group.  I think part of it is just thinking about being missing from the group at the wedding. I mean, how much time do you actually spend with a bride and groom on their wedding day? 

The friend getting married has been so understanding and so great about it. I don't think she wants me to drain my savings account just to get there (actually, it would be like spending my first paycheck that I haven't gotten yet since my savings is already drained).  She told me I am under no circumstances to bring a gift to the wedding if I can make it-which I thought was really sweet of her to even be thinking about what I'm going through 2 weeks before HER wedding.  All of my friends know what I went through upon moving here (not getting HSMP visa, not being able to work for 7 months) and now we're just starting a normal life together.  Her being so nice and understanding makes me want to go even more!  I wish I could just be there without the hassle of travel!   

DH and I were talking, and we figured that I wouldn't have spend $800 to go see him for a weekend when we were doing the long distance thing- so I think this it would be a bit much to spend it on a friend's wedding. 

Thank you for your advice and support. . . I really needed it!

Well, she sounds lovely; and that should alleviate any regret of not going.

I would maybe call her the night/day before to wish her well, and thank her for being so understanding.

Then down the road, when you're more settled, you can think about visiting.