Hi Mmanda,
I think a lot of us were in similar situations at one point. That pesky ol' ocean issue!
My husband and I battled it for over 2 years and still battling.. waiting on my spousal visa now.
I will tell you that in the beginning, I was a mess. I was totally insecure. I put him through some pretty brutal and emotional chats on the phone, poor guy. When I look back at them, I'm actually embarrassed because I was so desperately looking for him to validate things. To tell me the impossible really; that "our relationship would stand the distance and we'd make it" because ultimately, I was scared out of my mind! I had this strange "out of body" experience (so to speak) and heard myself one day... I realized I was being so hard on him for my own stupid reasons and from that point on, I really tried to work through what I was really feeling vs. the drilling I would inevitably make him endure.
I think what I was always looking for in our chats or emails was some sort of connection with him. To be reminded of what we are. We had a really open discussion about that and decided on certain things. It was important for us to connect in some way on daily basis. Whether it was a text, or an email, or a phone call. We even set simultaneous daily alarms on our cellphones so that in that moment, we would know we were thinking of the other. That way if we couldn't manage to talk or email, we'd at least have that. Eventually, we became stronger and the progress sort of took it's own path. Now we can't go a day without texting several times and always speak for an hour or more on the phone. Plus we still have our alarms
We send each other things through the post too.. little care packages, a cd, or even just a card. You can actually get really creative and it always means a lot!
**quick edit - I should also add that we alternated visiting one another about every 8-10 weeks. That was HUGE! Without the physical connection and at least sometimes feeling like a normal couple, I can't be sure what would've happened. And let's be honest, the good-byes are horrible... but you can't beat those passionate reunions either
If you can get through this weird, initial shock of being apart hump, I bet you can make it work. But you both have to be willing to do the work! That's all the difference in the world. Best of luck!