My Son is apprehensive about swimming

Hello,

I was hoping that there might be somebody who could give me some advice.

My six year old son is not very confident in the water.  He's never liked being in the water, even as a baby.  I took him to swimming sessions when he was eight months old and he screamed the entire time for each and every session.  Since then, I would take him swimming from time to time, but it was always the same.

However,  I jumped at the opportunity to get him into lessons when he began reception year.  Many of the kids talked about going swimming and he wanted to go too.  He's been going for lessons once a week now for nearly two years.

Although his progress has been slow, I am happy that he's improved a bit.  He likes to play and will kick with a kick board or other apparatus.  But when it comes to actually swimming, he doesn't want to get his face wet.  He refuses to use his hands; he needs the security of something to hold on to.

I want to do the right thing and help him gain confidence.  I don't want the experience to become bad, and have a lasting,negative effect.  So we've just been keeping him going, hoping that he will "grow out" of the fear and gradually become relaxed, no matter how long it takes.

Has anybody else had a kid who was apprehensive in the water?  I'd be interested in hearing from you with any thoughts, advice, etc.  It's very important to me for safety reasons, if nothing else, that children know how to swim.

Interestingly, my husband was not a great swimmer as a child.   His brother and father were both petrified of water when they were children and both of them still do not like water as adults.  I, on the other hand, grew up with a pool and don't even remember learning to swim.  My younger son, almost three, has taken to water naturally.

I wonder if fear of water is genetic?

I can't offer any specific advice, but I can tell you I was exactly the same way as your son, right down to the "need to hold on to something".  I finally decided one day, when I was about 8 I think, that I wanted to know how to swim and to that end spent three days in our backyard pool (aboveground) frantically dog-paddling until I could stay afloat and propel myself reasonably.  (You could try giving him progressively smaller and smaller things to hold on to.  That's what I did, and it helped.)

I'm not a bad swimmer now...but I still hate it.

My parents made me take swim lessons every summer, and I hated them too.  I couldn't understand why I had to learn to swim, since I didn't like the water and didn't really like to go in it.

I wouldn't wory about helping him gain confidence; he will, slowly, as time goes on.  All you can do is encourage him to do what he feels comfortable with, and explain to him why it's so important to you that he learn.  (My dd's godfather is 38 years old and does not know how to swim.  In South Florida.  He can stay jerkily afloat, because he's old enough and rational enough to figure it out, but is not a good swimmer at all, so stays out of water much deeper than his chest.  It works OK but I know he wishes he could swim sometimes.)

I hate swimming.  Have always hated it.  My mom insisted on swimming lessons too, but unlike my brother and sisters I never got beyond the beginners class.  You know that kid at camp that barely passed the swim test?  That was me.     It wasn't until I was an adult that I figured out part of the reason.  Not only did I wear glasses but I also have a hearing loss(glue ear).  I felt completey disoriented-couldn't see, couldn't hear.  No wonder I hated it. 
I don't have any advise, but think you're right to insist he learn for safety's sake. I never gained confidence though and to this day avoid it. 

i never liked swimming either and i always especially disliked pools but i am much better in the sea - have you tried taking him into the sea - just in the shallow water, i bet he would love it

I don't like the water at all, either and still can't swim despite many attempts to teach me. In fact,  I don't even like the sensation of floating and get dizzy if I walk on a floating dock!

I am scared to death of the water but never showed it in front of my sons. My 9 year old started swimming in school two years ago. He told me he was afraid of drowning and was the slowest learner in the class but he is getting along just fine. Im glad they are teaching water confidence in school while he is young. They have been very patient with him. I dont care really if he doesnt become an olympic swimmer but its important for him to at least know how to handle himself in the water in case of an emergency. When my ex-husbeast came here in March to visit the boys they stayed at a hotel with an indoor pool. He somehow thought it would be funny to throw the kids into the swimming pool. (such an A$$). Now Jordan is more frightened of the water than ever before. 
I hope he can get the little bit of confidence back when he goes back to swim class next term.
Pebs 

I dont care really if he doesnt become an olympic swimmer but its important for him to at least know how to handle himself in the water in case of an emergency.

That's exactly why I'm keeping up with lesson for my son.  He's still only six, so I'm hoping that even if it's something he doesn't love, he'll at least know how to swim for safety reasons.

At least he enjoys being in the water and playing, so long as he has something to hang on to for security, or he can touch the bottom.

Thanks to everybody for sharing your experiences.  I'm glad to hear that some of you overcame your fear enough to tackle swimming.  It's not easy because I believe these types of fears are deep rooted.  That's why I was wondering if these types of fears are genetic, since my husband's brother and father are both terrified of water.

I just don't want to make the situation worse and cause permanent damage.