advice needed on possible sister visit.

My oldest sister and I have a difficult relationship.

She is talking about the possibility of coming over with her husband (with whom I have an even more difficult relationship) and my niece and nephew (will be nearly 16 and nearly 18) in December. This isn't a trip to see me, it would be a trip to Germany and France with a side line to see me and a few other friends of their's in England.

She's asked if we would be up for visitors for a few days, and of course we would love to see them, I'm afraid she's looking for, or expecting, a place to stay. This just isn't possible. We live in a small 3-bed semi and will have a 2 month old at the time of their visit. Adding what is really 4 adults just physically won't happen.

So I need to respond to her saying yes, we'd love to see you but you need to stay in a hotel. I'm afraid that if I tell her this that she'll expect us to pay for the hotel, which we just simply can't afford.

Any suggestions on how to tell her this? Or do you think I'm just being over sensitive and making more of an issue out of telling her than I should?

You can take one of two approaches:

Hit the nail on the head and tell her straight that you would love to see her but in case she may be thinking of staying with you, it simply isn't possible and you are happy to help arrange a suitable hotel.

Or be more subtle about it and say something like, Would love to see you, let me know when you have your dates booked and we can discuss suitable times to meet up.

In either scenario, I would be gobsmaked if she then thought you should pay for a hotel.  I think you may be slightly overreacting on this one because that is beyond tacky.  If she was so crass as to suggest it, then the gloves are off and would ask her straight up, why does she think you should pay for her hotel whilst she is on holiday?

I don't think you're being overly sensitive at all!  I'd just let her know that however much you'd love to see them, it's just not possible to put them up in your home.  Maybe throw in that you wish you could, and it's such a bummer that you also can't afford to book a hotel for them.  Maybe then let her know that you'll email her some suggestions for affordable accommodations nearby and hope for the best.  Is this her first trip to the UK?  Sometimes people don't understand that houses/flats in England are generally much smaller than the US.

x-posted with Sara Smile

That is what I tell my PARENTS when they wanted to come for a visit.  Small house, no spare bed, I have to work, B&B down the street, we are poor.   

thanks for your input. My family just has a history of tiptoeing around this sister because her reactions can be unpredicitable and unreasonable.

I emailed her.  Told her we could manage her kids, but just don't have the room for everyone so her and her husband should stay in a hotel. (worded that better in the email tho...)

figure if i tick her off (which is likely) atleast i live 4000 miles away.