Back in the states and having a hard time

*This is me mostly venting because I am frustrated.*

I just got back in the states about 3 weeks ago from visiting my boyfriend for 2 months and am having an exceptionally hard time getting back into the swing of things. I have visited the UK twice before, but this time coming back has really hit me hard. I have this homesickness to be back with my DB and I miss my life that I had in England.

Unfortunately once I got back home I haven't had the best experiences, making me want to go back even more. For instance I had loads of my furniture and equipment in storage that got burgled, they took every thing. I didn't find this out until 3 days after I got home to get some equipment and seen an empty room. We have been having a gorgeous August here and my parents property is on the beach, so naturally I went to go for a swim and somebody nicked my clothes. I was supposed to start University back up at the end of September but I just found out today that my loan didn't get approved leaving me short on tuition. On top of every thing I was hoping that my friends would be excited to see me, but they have never called me back or have gotten in contact with me and I have no clue why. I have been trying my hardest to call, email, and post Facebook messages that I am home; but no replies from them. The only idea of why they haven't contacted me is because they didn't like me leaving for so long to go over to England. They were very upset that I did that, yet it's not as though I was permanently leaving. Even if I was I would have hoped that they could have understood better why I would be making that sort of decision. I am a big girl that can make my own decisions.

So I haven't had any good social interaction besides family (and they are lovely people). I am working a part time job being employed by my mom, which is fine, but still not a lot of good friend making.  The only thing I have to look forward to is my DB at Thanksgiving and being with him for a week and a half, going back over to Portsmouth during Christmas for two weeks, and getting a proper job someday soon. I did sign up for one of those Wilton Cake decorating classes, so I am crossing my fingers to meet some new people there.

Hehe... I feel so much better now! Thanks for listening. 

I feel for you.  I am also feeling heartwrenching feelings of loss for my DF in England.  It is so hard being apart from the person you love, and once you go over to them and see how lovely it is and immediately feel like you belong there....its hard to come back and feel at home again.

All I can say is that you are not alone in feeling that way, and I can imagine that all the people...or most on here knows what it's like to be apart for long periods of time.

You do have some upcoming visits to look forward to...so that's great!  The cake decorating class will be good! 

Hang in there! 

The only thing I have to look forward to is my DB at Thanksgiving and being with him for a week and a half, going back over to Portsmouth during Christmas for two weeks, and getting a proper job someday soon.

I can tell you from personal experience that feeling like all you have is your BF and spending all your time looking ahead is the worst thing you can do.  Unless a permanent move is imminent, I would suggest focusing on the last part of the above statement - getting a proper job (assuming that the job will be in the US).   I remember each time I would come back from seeing my now-husband, I would feel like the world was collapsing around me and there was nothing at home that could make me happy and no one knew how I felt and all I wanted was to be with the person I love and why is everything so unfair blah blah blah.  As long as I allowed myself to feel that way, it was easy to wallow in the sadness and self-pity and spend all my days longing to be somewhere I couldnt be.   Each time, I had to forcibly pull myself out of it and remember that you have a life you have to lead even if it isnt the exact life you want at that moment. 

Re: your friends not returning your calls - this may sound harsh and I may be totally off mark (as I often am), but when I was in your situtation, I noticed (or more accurately, people pointed it out to me) that all I did was talk about my husband and "when I move to England" and "I miss him" and "oh we had so much fun when I did this" or "in England, they do this" and frankly people got sick of it.  If you have just spent two months here, did you call your friends while you were here? Did you try to make them feel involved at all?  Is it possible that you've unintentionally made them feel like everything you love is in England and you dont need them anymore or they dont mean as much to you? 

They were very upset that I did that, yet it's not as though I was permanently leaving. Even if I was I would have hoped that they could have understood better why I would be making that sort of decision. I am a big girl that can make my own decisions.

I realise that you have to live your life and do what makes you happy, but I believe as a good friend/daughter/whatever you also have to be supportive of the people who are about to lose you.   I really went out of my way to make a fuss over my friends before I left and made sure to tell them how much they mean to me and that I would miss them terribly.  I didnt expect them to understand why I was doing what I was doing, but luckily they supported me because they want me to be happy.   Hopefully your friends can come around to that way of thinking too.

I feel for you.  Been there and done that as most of us have.  I went to England last July and stayed until November.  I made it a point to email my closest friends every single day to share with the my experiences in another country and to hear all their stories of their journey back home.  I shared photos with them, asked for photos of them and if we did not email every day, we did every week.  I made it a point to never let them think for a minute 3000 miles away would get in between our bond.  And, thankfully, it did not.

That being said, if you did as I did, and they still are not returning your messages, than you have two options:  you can send out a heartfelt email or message expressing your dismay and confusion or you can simply let it go.  I suppose this will come down to the strength of your bond with each one of them.  My friends, though sad to lose me for 5 months, were so supportive as they had never seen me so happy.  Now, that I'm moving in October to live there perm, they are again sad, but comforted to know that while apart before, we never lost touch or that bond.  It's all about both sides nurturing and not just one.

Hang in there.  When I got back, I was jetlagged to hell, very discombobulated and turned on the wrong side of the road quite frequently that first week or so back in the US.  I missed my friends in the UK tons, the scenery and of course my UK BF that is now my husband.  You just have to take one day at a time and roll with the punches.  Some will knock you down but you have to get back up and stay focused and keep going.  Such is life, eh?

Keep your head up!

Thank you all so much for your advice and input. It really does mean a lot. I guess I do just need to get over it; I can only help myself. While I was over I did try to keep in good contact with everyone, I suppose my family more than my friends. After a while the emails and phone calls did become few and fewer between my friends and I. I have tried to keep the topic of England and my boyfriend down to a minimum because I didn't want to bore people with all the details. It can be hard, I have caught myself a few times rambling on and I am sure nobody really cares about it but me.

I guess I am just picking up the pieces, and trying to start again from where I left off in the states. I do have an interview for a "proper" job next week. Getting that news really lifted my spirits. So fingers crossed I'll do well! I guess I should look at the more positive things to come. My current home is in the states and I need to focus on getting that life going. All though it is hard, and I am lucky that I have my bf to talk with, I can't stop my life over here because I am missing everything in the UK. I am trying to be stronger and wiser about the situation, and that mindset is actually making life over here seem not so hard.

Thanks again for listening. If I didn't have people like you to make me realize I have been pitying myself, then I wouldn't have been able to get over it. It helps to have a good neutralized opinion, especially from people who have been there and done that.

I noticed this because I realized it was sort of like my situation when I went to England. I went there,  looking forward to meeting this person and also attending uni there. I was there for 5 months and the people I kept in touch with most was my family. In the beginning my friends and I kept in touch as much as I could whilst taking part in an internship, full course load, being a tourist and meeting new people and hanging out with the boyfriend (which we started when I stayed with him for a few days). I didn't realize it right away but I noticed that e-mails became fewer and farther between. I couldn't chat to people, it was hard, because of the time difference and everyone had full courses and work back at home. I do hope that things turn out better for you with your friends than what happened with me and mine. It's definitely hard, and you were just gone for 2 months this time! After coming back for 5 I'll be honest I got sort of depressed, thought about everything that was great about the UK and that I hated being back home. I do hope the class works for you and lots of luck for your job interview! I know it's hard to deal with though, I've been through basically the same thing, only a bit crappier situation seeing as my bf broke up with me after about a month of me being home. I think you should definitely look forward to the trips coming forward, and just take part in as much as you can at home with friends and family.