differences in UK/US weddings??

We've got a wedding in the middle of the month where we are only invited to the evening part.  J. found this quite odd that we couldn't go to the ceremony/formal meal. (British, only ever been to one wedding himself!) .  I had to explain yet another "British thing" to him.    He's lived under a rock in the North Pole here most of his life!!!  Lol.  (For future forum readers- its always wise to remember, just because your other half or friends or MIL or whoever does it one way, doesn't mean that its a "British thing" either and vise versa lol)

Though I'm fine with not going to the ceremony as its on a Friday afternoon and I'd have to use holiday time to go.  And I'd probably burst into fire in the Kingdom of the Jehovah Witness hall anyways!  

But we'll go to the evening part.  Should be interesting, I hope.  She's French, he's Scottish.  

We're planning ours right now, and I'm a little worried at how people will react, because most people are only being invited to the reception.  W

We're getting married on a Friday afternoon in Madison, and not only would there not really be room for everyone in the venue, there'd be no place for that many people to park, since it's right downtown.  Also, my fiance would really rather it was just the two of us; inviting anyone else, save the statutory witnesses, is already a compromise. 

The reception is on Saturday, up in my hometown, and there'll be a meal there (just a casual buffet, nothing fancy), and everyone will be invited for that.  I wouldn't specifically invite anyone who I wasn't planning on feeding. 

Still, I'm a bit worried that some people will feel offended at being excluded from the ceremony, since it's not what's typically done here, at least not in our family.

Evening reception-only invites are a huge pet peeve of mine. To be it just says "we like you enough to want your gift, but not enough to pay for your meal". And yeah, we're having everybody, all day, even though that means we're strictly limited to 86.

I'd definitely be inclined to give a much smaller than normal wedding gift in that case.  I'd appreciate the gesture of being included somehow but probably buy a smaller item from the registry ($30-50) instead of writing the obligatory check for $100+ per person attending (or is that only around here (NYC area) that that's the going rate?).

Saying that, the wedding that I went to in the US was very bizarre indeed, and I know its not an american thing because DH and his friends found it weird too. We went to the ceremony in the early afternoon and then had to entertain ourselves for 4 hours while the bridal party went to get photos done! Then we headed to the venue in the early evening for the meal and reception. Odd!

This is actually not that uncommon, although 4 hours is a bit much.  There's often a "gap" of 1-2 hours between the church and reception for photos.  I'm attending my cousin's wedding in September where there's a 1.5 hour break.  This would be fine except it's in a tiny podunk town in PA and there's not a whole lot of options to grab a drink or a cup of coffee and the reception is on his farm so there's no where to go get those things at the venue beforehand.  I think my grandmother has decided we're going to pack a bottle of wine and either go hang out in his house or impose ourselves on my aunt and uncle. 

Traditional wedding cake is a heavy fruitcake with that hard white icing stuff on it.  

Is that what what is! My BF got me a whole bunch of little gifts for the train ride from London to Inverness (I don't sit still well and he'd intended for me to have something to open every hour or so but he handed me the bag so I just opened everything at once) and two of the gifts were little single-serving M&S fruitcakes with a layer of icing and a layer of marzipan. The box said something about wedding cakes and I spent a good portion of the ride trying to figure out if they intended as wedding favors, but it seemed a little tacky to buy something that says "I'm a wedding favor!" in as many words.

Anyway, OP, I'd suggest you ask your fiance's parents if there are traditional things they'd like you to encorporate into the ceremony and then do whatever you want. Anything that surprises the Brits will be assumed to be an American tradition and anything that surprises the Americans will be assumed to be a British tradition. Both sides leave thinking, "that was fun!"