Advice for when you finally get here

Erika - I am so sorry that you had such a difficult time.

As others have said, I think we all have gone through this to varying degrees. (Great post Pengi!) 

My husband was supportive but also challenged me by "pushing" me to be more independent here and not lean on him too much. Little things - like making me go place the food order when we were at the pub, or having me pay the cashier at the grocery store. He helped me not to crawl into a shell and hide behind him.

I never did learn to drive in the UK (his car had a sport gearbox and was a bear!) but thankfully we lived in an area where I could easily walk to any shops I needed. The bank, post office, doctor's surgery were also within walking distance. That really helped.

Again, as others have said, I think if you look at this as an adventure and accept the fact that there is a steep learning curve it will be easier to adapt.

My husband was supportive but also challenged me by "pushing" me to be more independent here and not lean on him too much. Little things - like making me go place the food order when we were at the pub, or having me pay the cashier at the grocery store. He helped me not to crawl into a shell and hide behind him.

Thinking back, my husband did this as well. The first couple of days he let me off, but after that I ordered and paid for everything. He was there if I got stuck, but making me do it meant I learned what funny coin was what and how to speak clearly. It's still a habit and I pretty much handle everything now lol.
 

Jewlz-- I really really wanted to volunteer here.  But, my understanding was that volunteer work is still work and that I can't do it until we are married and I have my work permit.  (which will be the end of September). 

Does anyone know differently?  Am I able to do volunteer work on a fiance settlement visa?

Steph

Oh, no you can't. I'm sorry, Steph. I thought you were already married, I must not have read carefully enough. Well, I am sure there are others things you could do. One of the local community centres here offers free taster courses in all sorts of subjects (could be fun just to learn a bit about something in a day, even if you don't intend to sign up for the course) and also things like yoga classes, photography courses, and language classes, none of which are too expensive. Like others mentioned, there is also www.meetup.com, where you could meet some other people who share your interests. It is hard to stay busy when you can't work, so try taking up a new hobby - something you always wanted to do but haven't had the time before. You could get a CD-Rom and some workbooks for a language you want to learn or something like that. Also, just try to get out and about on your own sometimes and walk around the place where you live. Find your local library and get a card and just wander around some of the shops and see what's in there. Good luck with settling in. And I'm a fellow Texan, so you can PM me if you ever want to! 

This is what I have been worrying about just lately. Worrying that I will depend too much on my husband when we get moved, and ask constant questions as I work my way through all the changes. I know he will help me and be supportive, but I don't want him to feel like I am constantly relying on him for even little things. I think google will be my new friend for awhile, just to help me not feel like I'm helpless and always needing to ask questions. I have been independent for years, and don't want to let that get lost in all the transitions. Thank you for your post, although it makes me nervous and I feel sad for all you went through, it was nice of you to share your real life experiences with us.

As far as learning the coins, my husband and i played games like you would do in grade school...like if u bought something for 8.87 and gave a 10 then give me the right change back.  It really made that learning bit a lot easier.

Thank you for sharing Erika. I'm on the front end of this adventure. I had a conversation about this same topic just a week ago with the boyfriend - this strong, independent US woman he loves is going to have some hurdles moving there, making 1/2 of what I am now, learning 'the ropes', etc. But every day is a new day, bringing new adventures. Whether in my current confines or a new land.

So please know that your post is appreciated by someone who is not there yet. More importantly, I'm really happy that you have found happiness again!

But I did some temp volunteer work at the local museum (no one seemed to care whether it was legal or not)

Just for anyone else reading this thread, it is up to YOU to know that it is illegal and violating terms of a visitors visa to work/volunteer/babysit/etc, not the charity/employer/parent.   Even if they "dont seem to care", an ECO reviewing a future visa application will care if they find out. 

It could lead to a 10,000 fine for the organisation and problems for the person down the line. 

I know someone here was denied entry after a IO read their diary about volunteering; they weren't coming on a visa though. 

But I did some temp volunteer work at the local museum (no one seemed to care whether it was legal or not)...

As a visitor, this is a big no no.  You cannot work on a tourist visa, and this includes paid and unpaid work.  You've risked the museum a pretty hefty fine.

x-posted with mirrajay and bookgrl