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Topic: My husband left for the UK last evening and I'm so blue ...  (Read 1785 times)

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My husband left for the UK last evening and I'm so blue ...
« on: September 14, 2010, 05:06:09 PM »
You think you get used to good bye's don't you?  We who fall in love with someone from another country?  Nope. 

My husband left last night after living here for 10 months.  He is now back in the UK and setting up for me to follow over.  I have my spouse visa and the movers are coming end of the month.  I even booked my flight for Oct 20th.  But now I fear I jumped the gun in terms of travel.  The cost of shipping all my things (all new) is very expensive plus I have a early turn in lease car so have to pay the difference.  So, by the time I get over to the UK, I'll have enough to pay my US bills for a few months.  I'm a realist and do not want to bank on getting a job easily as I'm informed enough to know it isn't easy over there like here at the moment.  But, to be apart any longer ... well it is unthinkable.  I just can't imagine longer than 37 days at this point.  I'm so over good bye's, and skype and 5 hours difference and being away from the one you love ... again. 

Sorry just venting.  I know there are many who have been there done that or doing it as well or will be.  I just was looking for some party goers to my pity party.  lol

I'll be fine in a couple of days.  Adjustment and all that I suppose.  But last night was so rough and I know tonight when I leave work to walk into an empty apartment is going to be another rough road.

37 days is easy peasy to most as some have been separated for months but maybe it's the last leg that has intensified the feelings you know?

Ugh ... I'll be fine just feeling sad. 

 :-[
I'm an American chick no matter where I roam...


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Re: My husband left for the UK last evening and I'm so blue ...
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2010, 06:34:17 PM »
Just keep concentrating on 20 October, Emily. It''s not so far off.  :)
>^.^<
Married and moved to UK 1974
Returned to US 1995
Irish citizenship June 2009
    Irish passport September 2009 
Retirement July 2012
Leeds in 2013!
ILR (Long Residence) 22 March 2016


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Re: My husband left for the UK last evening and I'm so blue ...
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2010, 06:38:27 PM »
Hang in there. :/

I'm hoping that, in a few month's time, when I'm in your shoes, I'll be too busy with the visa process, and packing and spending the holidays with my family here to be overly distraught that my shiny, brand-new husband will have gone back to Scotland.  After all, he's only coming for a few weeks, so we won't really have had a chance to start our 'real' married life together, and be used to having each other around 24/7.  

I'm also hoping (very hard, because at this point, who knows?) that we're only apart for a couple of months at the most.  

And I'm trying hard not to let myself freak out too much about what I'll do once I get there.  But that's easier said than done, as well.

I guess my strategy is to just try to focus on the good stuff.  All the things we're going to get to do once I've moved.  I try not to think too hard about the actual details, and just let my brain go fuzzy with joyfully oblivious anticipation.


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Re: My husband left for the UK last evening and I'm so blue ...
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2010, 07:52:27 PM »
I moved to the UK on 20 Oct of last year.   :D

I know the time apart is horrible...no matter how long you've been together or how long you have to be apart...or how many times it's happened.  It's never easy.  I actually got separation anxiety this Spring when I went back to the US without DH and we were separated (again!) for a little over 2 weeks.

Just keep your eye on the prize and know it will all be over soon enough.


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Re: My husband left for the UK last evening and I'm so blue ...
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2010, 03:05:57 PM »
Thank you for your support and thoughts everyone!

"Eye on the prize" is a good mantra., Eastside!  Think I'll keep using that one when I walk into my empty apartment and get in my big bed all alone.

I like the "fuzzy with joyfully oblivious anticipation" concept too, Woadgrrl.   

And, Boston, you are right ... 5 weeks should be easy peasy.  Heck, I'm a pro at this by now ... think I was just feeling sorry for myself ... but more so just missing my best friend who luckily happens to be my husband. 

I slept better last night after a great skype call with him so I think that skype, as before, will be my saving grace.

Thanks again everyone.  You're all ace!  ;D  Roll on October 20!!!!
I'm an American chick no matter where I roam...


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Re: My husband left for the UK last evening and I'm so blue ...
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2010, 05:40:37 PM »
I feel ya. We hit 2 months separated tomorrow afternoon, with no definite end since I'm waiting on the visa. I know it will all be fine in the end, but I totally agree - I had hoped we'd be over goodbyes and separation by now.
Arrived 12 Oct 2010/Spousal Visa
Whole new world for a Southern gardener, but I'm very happy.


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Re: My husband left for the UK last evening and I'm so blue ...
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2010, 06:12:54 PM »
Sorry to hear that angelchrome.  I know being separated is hard let alone not having an ending in sight.  So, I sympathize with you greatly. 

If you ever need a supportive shoulder, feel free to email me on here.

Hang in there and know that you aren't alone. 
I'm an American chick no matter where I roam...


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Re: My husband left for the UK last evening and I'm so blue ...
« Reply #7 on: September 16, 2010, 02:12:44 PM »
Aww hugs to you ac and emily. You guys are certainly not alone. It sucks big time but it makes us stronger.  :)
Met DH to be: 2004
Visited back and forth:2005-2008
Student visa: September 2008
Married: September 2009
Flr(m): July 2011
Finished my bachelors: May 2012
Finished MSc: august 2013
ILR approved: September 2013
Citizenship approval: August 2015
Passport received: November 2015
Citizenship journey is complete!





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Re: My husband left for the UK last evening and I'm so blue ...
« Reply #8 on: September 16, 2010, 03:10:32 PM »
Thanks. I'm missing his birthday this weekend, which is pretty sad. If we miss our wedding anniversary next month we'll both be crushed. We knew it was coming and that this will be a better life with his new work situation, but the knowing doesn't take the sting out of it.

Arrived 12 Oct 2010/Spousal Visa
Whole new world for a Southern gardener, but I'm very happy.


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Re: My husband left for the UK last evening and I'm so blue ...
« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2010, 04:59:06 PM »
Thanks. I'm missing his birthday this weekend, which is pretty sad. If we miss our wedding anniversary next month we'll both be crushed. We knew it was coming and that this will be a better life with his new work situation, but the knowing doesn't take the sting out of it.



:( I'm crossing my fingers for you. It really hurts being apart during a wedding anniversary. Our longest time apart was 2 years (money issues) and it was hell. I don't wish it on anyone. I hope very much that things get better soon for you.
Met DH to be: 2004
Visited back and forth:2005-2008
Student visa: September 2008
Married: September 2009
Flr(m): July 2011
Finished my bachelors: May 2012
Finished MSc: august 2013
ILR approved: September 2013
Citizenship approval: August 2015
Passport received: November 2015
Citizenship journey is complete!





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