I just can't do it. I feel like giving up..

Wow, this thread was very interesting to read, to learn of all the different situations.

I am pretty sure that every single one of us who have married someone from the other country and had to make decisions about one of the 2 moving to a new country, has been through much of the same process of questions, endles worries of 'what if', stress beyond belief, and so much more.

We did, but we talked about it.  The funny thing about our situation is that BOTH OF US wanted to move to the other country, but Hubby wons first and he moved to the USA.  It was just easier for him to move, as he had a very small flat, not much stuff, and was/still is in construction on contract work mostly, so all around it was easier for him since I had a good full time job and a big house and tons of stuff.

Now, after we lived in the USA for 5 yrs, I decided that I was ready to retire early due to health issues (nothing serious).  I was just ready after working for many years, reaching my 50th birthday next week, and I had always told hubby that I wanted to retire and move to England b/c I loved it so much.  So, again, we went through all the questions, fears, worries, and we made the move, both of us this time to England, back to his home area.  He is very happy to be back and I am happy to be here, so we sorta have had the best of both sides, living in both places.

Maybe the older you get, you realize that is it about Happiness for both of you, and not about jobs or friends or even extended family members..... it is about you and your partner (and kids be it human or pet).

Life is NEVER easy, 

Well, I can tell you, I was 17 years old when I jumped ship from the USA to come to live in England to be with my ex (I am 28 now) even though it ended, it was tough to cope but I been here so long i really love England and it took me 3 years (when i first came here) to get over the homesick. You cant sit their and worry about the future when you dont know what will happen.

I guess i am different even thou it didnt workout for me after 7 years of marriage. I am a person that believes in Destiny and everything happends for a reason. I didnt have kids with him. But i wouldnt of EVER changed hopping on a plane to come to England at 17 and getting married at that AGE.

I realized this in the last 4 years thou! But if you cant talk to him about your feelings than how can you ever? In a realtionship you need to have honesty if you are stopping telling him whats wrong you are doing a dis-service to yourself and him for hiding it (since he may think your cool about it) if things are ment to be, it will workout.
You could be over here for 6 months and see how you feel. I dont know if you can do that now though? Because when i first came over they allowed me to stay for 6 months to visit not a marriage or fiance visa.  Than see how you feel and go from their.

Goodluck.

There are so many variables. So many things that could go wrong. So much hassle involved in just getting there and settled. I sometimes wonder if someone asked my advice about moving to the UK, what I would tell them. Would I do it again? Well, maybe not in today's climate. Maybe not if I'd stopped to think about my parents old age. Maybe not if I'd known I would never find a job at the level I'd had at home. Maybe not if I'd known I would lose my right to live in the UK after returning to the US.  Maybe not if I'd known my daughter would become seriously ill. But at the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. It seemed like we belonged together. So, unless you have that strong an emotional attachment, you probably should be very careful.

Glad I'm not alone on this!  Same thing for me, uk partner wants to live in uk, I want to live in the states.  We would have more support here but I am so homesick.  Very unexpectedly, I never get homesick.  I'm here in the UK for a 6 month visit so it doesn't help that I can't work at the moment and feel like I'm going nowhere. 
It feels like either way one  of us is going to be miserable and homesick.

I used to wonder about our living somewhere neutral -- Canada maybe? So both of us would be homesick