3 weeks (ish) to go and the panic starts

I have just over 3 weeks to go (assuming he's on time) and I'm finally beginning to panic.

None of my friends here have had kids in the last 17 years, or are male, and my co-worker that had a baby recently had a freakishly short labour (2 hours!) and I don't really have that kind of friendship with her.

So I'm freaking out. I mention something I know my sister did and everyone's reaction is 'oh we don't do that here.' everything I read differs in opinion, books and internet say one thing, midwife visitor lady says another.  And I'm just getting totally overwhelmed.

So I have a couple of questions that I've been obsessing over, I hope you don't mind.:

1) Do tens machines work? Before shelling out 20 quid we could spend on something else on renting or ebay, I'd like to know it's worth it.  My old chiropractor used them and I hated it.

2) sleeping: we will be using a carry cot and plan on swaddling at first, but for how long? Blankets and a top sheet on top of him when swaddling? Then can we stick with sheets and blankets or do we need sleep sacks?
 
any advice is appreciated and will probably help me sleep better as this is all I am thinking about lately.

Thanks.

Don't panic!

It's been a lot longer than 17 years since I had my kids so I can't give you any up-to-date advice.  But as for the swaddling you just gotta play it by ear on that kind of stuff.  Trust your instincts and the baby's.  We had sleeping bag kind of things -- sleeves for the arms but legs zipped in. Don't know if they still make those.

No experience with a tens machine. I did have a lovely epidural, however. Highly recommended. As long as it keeps working. Mine sorta "stopped" after awhile.

As far as swaddling goes, people will tell you different things. I was all set to swaddle like mad and I ended up with a kid who hated being confined (still does, at 2 and a half) He'd break out of every attempt I'd make to swaddle him, within days of coming home from the hospital. To keep him warm and cozy, we'd zip him up in these sleep sack-type things.

keep breathing!  It's always a bit scary just before, but you'll be fine.  Online forums can help if you don't have girlfriends to talk to.

I found my tens somewhat helpful.  Some people say they are great.  Others get little from them.  Ask your midwife, our hospital had a class you could go to and then you were able to get one on loan for free.

As for the cot.  I used a cosleeper, which is really just a glorified carrycot, as a basinette for the early period and was just fine.  Many are designed for babies when they are new, but as they get bigger and more able to move, you change them into other things. 

I also LOVED my miracle blanket, which I bought at Mothercare.  It really helped. I tried it with blankets themselves, but my little Houdini always got out, and until I tried the miracle blanket.  If you are swaddling, the swaddling itself is the baby's blanket.  You don't put them in another.  I did it for 2-3 months and then used grobags after that since she wiggled out of every blanket we put her under.  With both the swaddling and the grobags you'll not put them in tons of clothes either as they can get too warm.  We were good with a onesie (vest, bodysuit--chose your term) and the blanket.  If there was a very cold night, we might put a babygro on.

Oh, and they don't recommend top sheets anymore for babies.  They have a fitted sheet and one blanket--no top sheets or quilts--lowers the SIDS risk.

You'll do well.  Just breath and take things in stride.  Everyone has an opinion with babies, and so many conflict.  You'll get a feel for what works for you as you get further in.  Best of luck!

Thank you.  I've done really well so far with freaking out, I think I'm just getting to that point. 

Yes, everyone has an opinion, and it's so hard to weed through it and it seems to change daily. I think I'm also starting to freak out about how my mother or sister won't be able to come over after the baby is born.

I keep telling myself It will all be ok.

Personally, I loved using a TENS machine, but I loved Entonox more.  The main difference between regular backache TENS and Labour TENS is that you have a contraction boost button, to intensify the sensation during contractions.  Probably for the first few minutes in labour it feels strange, but you soon adjust and it does it's job of distracting your nerve endings.  Again, here I heartily recommend this combined with Entonox (if it doesn't make you ill).

I also heartily recommend Grobags, Sleepsacks or whatever kind of baby sleeping bag you can find.  1tog or 2.5tog should be ideal for winter.  .5tog or 1tog should be good for summer.  If you get a lighter tog, you can always add a blanket if it gets cooler.  DD was a massive squirmer before she was even born, and ended up doing laps in her moses basket!  DS, however will for the most part stay in one place, but spread out.     Gotta love kids!

((hugs))  Try not to fret too much!  (I know, easier said than done.)  It'll all work itself out.

TENS for me was useless.

I LOVE sleep sacks and even intend to get new ones this year for my 2 and 4 year old. They just lose their blankets all the time which isn't good in the winter. As for swaddling, we did it with both boys for a bit. They generally let you know if they don't like it!

Good luck! You'll do fine!

Never bothered with TENS myself.

Can't recall if we swaddled Jean at all but we did use sleepsacks/grobag/baby sleeping bags until she was 19 months. Fab!

Thank you for your comments.  I had a talk with my midwife at my apointment on Thursday and knowing that someone will come to our house and answer our questions makes it a bit easier.