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Topic: Answering the IO's questions 'Friend' or 'BF' if we have never met in person?  (Read 1449 times)

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As I am travelling out to the UK for the first time AND to meet the man I have been talking to online for the first time as well, I am confused as to how to answer this IO question:

With whom are you intending to stay with?

and such questions...

as I have been reading on this forum that saying 'friend' isn't always the best policy as it may inhibit your spousal/fiance visa later on.....

SO

My question is, how do i answer this question since he is someone I have never met?

is he a friend? 
is he a boyfriend?

really he is neither, at least in the eyes of society.

considering I do have plans for our future, at some point, in regards to being together and getting married...

how do i answer the IO's question at this very early stage?


Ask yourself this question...

When you talk about meeting this person what do you call him?

I'd say he's your online boyfriend. He's not your 'friend' as you have romantic feelings that are reciprocated. Better to say it like it is rather than constructing your response as you think they would want to hear it.

Just be truthful. The 'friend' thing could get you into loads of trouble and possibly sent back to the US on the next flight. The 'boyfriend' is perfectly fine and happens all the time.


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wow..

I work with a guy that said to me that if they ask me "whom i am staying with" and I answered an 'online boyfriend..'.  He said that they would send me on the next plane home as IO's don't like the online gf/bf thing and get suspicious!

but see here is the deal, to me, i am meeting someone for the first time to see if it will work out.   In the eyes of others... is that a BF?  Special friend?  friend?  I mean, yes, he is an 'online bf' that i would like to take to the next level in the future with a spousal visa sometime later this year if things go well on our first meeting.

I don't even know what to call him myself at this point.   whom are you staying with?  Me personally, I would say that I am staying with a good friend at this point because we haven't even met yet!

to me personally and truly, I do not feel this is lying.

But if I were to take another flight out to meet him the second time, well then i would coinsider him a BF at that time.

i am confused as to how to categorize him at this point...since we haven't met.

should I say boyfriend?
special friend?
good friend?
friend?
online boyfriend?

i am even confused myself since he is all these things to me anyway.

any advise? when he is all those things above?





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Sorry to be blunt. Are you planning to stay in the same room as him? If so, I'd say 'boyfriend' is much more accurate than 'friend'. Particularly if you are already planning to marry this person and move to the UK to be with him.

Don't describe him as a friend to the IO just because you are worried about the reaction.


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I work with a guy that said to me that if they ask me "whom i am staying with" and I answered an 'online boyfriend..'.  He said that they would send me on the next plane home as IO's don't like the online gf/bf thing and get suspicious!

If you say 'online boyfriend', then they may question you to make sure that you aren't planning to try to stay in the UK illegally and that you have a reason to return to the US at the end of your trip. If you can prove that you are just a visitor and are not trying to use the visitor visa to live in the UK illegally, then you shouldn't have an issue. If you do have a problem, then the worst that can happen is that you are refused entry to the UK and will need a visa to return.

However, if you say 'friend', but then they question you even further and it comes out that he is actually a boyfriend, then you can be accused of lying to UK immigration, refused entry from the UK and banned from the UK for 10 years!

So, weighing it up, there is a risk of refused entry whatever you say, but saying 'friend' when he's actually a boyfriend has much more serious repercussions than just saying 'boyfriend' to start with.

The best thing to do is be honest - if you're not sure what to call him, then maybe just say so to the immigration officer... i.e. 'at the moment he's just a friend, but we're going to see how well we get on in person'.


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I know this is a late response, but...

I was in the same situation as you when I first visited the UK to meet my online boyfriend - unsure whether to say he was a friend or boyfriend or what exactly we were at that point without having met in person.

I was upfront and told the IO exactly how I felt about it.  I explained that we were online friends, and we both were interested in a relationship, but without having met in person at all yet, I didn't feel like I could say we were actually in a "real" relationship yet.  If we met in real life and got along as well as we got along online, we would pursue a relationship with each other, but we both realized that there was no guarantee that our real life chemistry would be the same as our online chemistry.

Honesty is the best policy; IMO if you're unsure what to class him as, say so to the IO and explain your situation.


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I Have to urge you to Have this gentleman visit you in the states first for safety's sake. Just because he seems great online doesnt mean he actually is. People can be whatever they want online afterall. Chances are he is the genuine person you've been talking too all this time but I think you should ask him to come here first and im sure he will understand the concern and if he doesnt then that would send up red flags for me.....Just be careful is all im saying  :)

The Immigration Officer will be concerned for your safety as well.

Best of luck to you
Met Ian online- 10/2009
Ian to Virginia- 02/2010
Month visit to England- 06/2010
Engaged- 07/2010
Married in Virginia- 10/2010
Sent app to NYC priority service- December 13th
E-mail from NYC processing- December 16th
E-mail visa approved - December 17th
Arrived in UK - Febuary 5th 2011


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I Have to urge you to Have this gentleman visit you in the states first for safety's sake. Just because he seems great online doesnt mean he actually is. People can be whatever they want online afterall. Chances are he is the genuine person you've been talking too all this time but I think you should ask him to come here first and im sure he will understand the concern and if he doesnt then that would send up red flags for me.....Just be careful is all im saying  :)

The Immigration Officer will be concerned for your safety as well.

Best of luck to you

That's no guarantee of safety.

A situation like this should have the person doing the travelling taking the same precautions they were if this were a domestic meeting - telling friends exactly where you're going (name, address, phone number), and telling them that if you don't check in with them by X day and X time, to call the police, and prepare yourself with info about the locale you'll be in, how to contact the police in a foreign country, etc. etc.


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