I feel like I'm taking crazy pills

I don't know what's up with me today but I feel like pulling my hair out and screaming. I am just SO frustrated in regards to EVERYTHING.

I moved from my own lovely little apartment in Oklahoma City back to my parents' house in Tulsa back in February so as to save up $. In March I traveled to Wales to meet my future in-laws. In April I got a job. In May I quit the job to spend time with out of state family and friends. Oh, and I got married I spent all of June getting my settlement visa "stuff" squared away. Everything was mailed on June 30th.

Now I'm playing the waiting game. I obsessively read UK-Yankee threads until I feel so overwhelmed that my heart's going to explode and then I spend way too much time on stumbledupon.com. I am going out of my mind and am SO bored and frustrated. Right now I feel like crying. I continually lash out at my parents for absolutely no reason and they've been nothing but good to me. Who else would house their 28 year old daughter free of charge?

It's too goddamn hot now in OK to actually go outside and DO anything. My plan was to waste my time between wedding and visa approval floating around the pool...but it's 110 freaking degrees outside. I'm also REALLY REALLY lonely. It seems ever since I left OKC, all of my friends there have promptly forgotten about me. My friends here in Tulsa aren't much better. They KNOW I'm (fingers crossed) leaving soon so I would think they'd want to spend time together. I've hung out with my friends twice in the past month. Lame. They keep sending texts and facebook posts saying how much they're going to miss me and how we need to "totally get together" but when I actually respond, I hear nothing back.

No one here knows what I'm going through and it's driving me up the wall. All I do is wake up, sit, wait, go to sleep, wake up, sit wait, go to sleep...

I just had to vent. Now I'm going to go cry. Like a child. lol

I'm sorry you're feeling this way.  Trust me, it's very common.  I've been back in the states for a month now after being gone over a year.  I've seen my friends just a few times. I keep contacting them, they say they miss me and want to get together.. Well, I'm here!!! Lets go!!!  Nothing.     It's hard sometimes, I think people pull away without realising it.  Try to not obsess over the visa thing (very hard I know!!) Do what you can to see your friends, and if it doesn't happen- don't try to get too let down.   Hopefully you'll get the visa, and then you can focus on your big move and your new life!!

 

Aww, thank you for the words of encouragement! I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself so I put on my bathing suit, greased myself up and went for a swim. It was quite lovely until I came face to face with a friggin SNAKE swimming alongside me. Killed the fun, lol.

Snakes belong in grass...not swimming pools!

How long will you be back in the states?

It's really not going to be much longer now.  At least you have a secure place to stay (I had to couch surf while waiting for my visa) and don't have to work (I had to pick up extra shifts and worked almost every day until I got my visa).

You should see this as your last summer vacation at home with your parents.  Make the most of it you're lucky! 

Go to the movies or shopping mall where it's nice and cool on the  hottest days.  Go for walks around the neighborhood in the evening when it's cool.  Call your friends up and make definite plans, remind them that you will be leaving imminently!

Catch up on your reading and perhaps journal writing.  Think about your travel dreams!  All of the UK, Ireland and the rest of Europe will be on your doorstep.  Start researching some of those dreams!  Look up places you've always wanted to travel to, research places in the UK you've heard of, but aren't sure what's there.  There's a wealth of interesting information at your fingertips.

Other things to do when it's too hot--check out the local library, help your Mom organize and maybe de-clutter--spend some quality time with your parents as you may not be seeing them for a while.

What you're feeling is normal, but try to turn it around from a negative to a positive.

I've been through the same thing this past month. I left Omaha to live with my parents for a few weeks before I move to England. While I was still in Omaha, I got the same response from friends, they would SAY they want to hang out, but wouldn't act on it, would never follow up on plans. Like they thought saying how much they would miss me was enough, the thought that counts right? Maybe it was jealousy, maybe it was the fact that they weren't really that great of friends, maybe it was subconsiously their way to protect themselves from getting hurt.

I was laid off work 2 months before the move so I know exactly what you are going through with the boredom! I did a lot of art, read books I've been wanting to, and made a promise to myself that everyday I would do one thing related to the move (sort through pictures, sort out clothes, meticulously scrub the bathroom for my landlord's inspection).

The advice I have to to get out and do things before you leave! I had been hanging around the house for 2 months, usually in my PJs, waiting for my real life to start (the beach life of Florida, then the exciting move to England!). Now I'm here in Florida and suffering from a 6 day asthma attack, so I can't do much more than walk to the bathroom without nearly passing out. I'm so mad I felt like I had to 'wait for my life to start' when my health was perfectly fine, I wasted it by sitting in the house watching Netflix.

So my advice is to get out and see your city before you leave. Take a mini roadtrip to see somewhere you've always wanted. Take pictures. Go to the zoo, the farmers market, an art gallery, try eating places you've never had.

I hope the dreariness passes soon! Good luck with your move.


PS Congrats on the wedding! How exciting!

Also, keep in mind your friends are still doing everything they would normally be doing.

Your sitting around totally bored, but they are still stuck at work and and taking care of the kids and all the rest.

It's too goddamn hot now in OK to actually go outside and DO anything.

Yeah, I see that where you're at (Tulsa) is experiencing like a 10-day stretch or so (so far) of 100+ F degree heat.  I remember those 'good ole days' well, being from near Wichita, Kansas myself originally & friends there have been complaining about the heat going on for days & days - it's even a few degrees hotter where you are than in south central Kansas.  The thing with that kind of heat at this time of year there, is it never really does cool off that much overnight, does it?! 

Just think - you won't ever have that problem here.    Those kind of temps & no A/C here, I think this country would probably explode - lol!

You've gotten some good advice, but I understand if you're not wanting to go out & everything is all making you very cross - it's understandable.  Just be kind to yourself & do what you feel up to doing. 

You have this to look forward to, mimibeth -- you're moving to one of the most temperate climates on the planet. It gets to 85° and the papers are full of "ZOMG Dangerous Heat Wave!" stories!

But in the Winter -- at least down here in the Sunny South -- it rarely drops below freezing. Not for long anyway (last year was a little rough).

I have yet to experience one of the infamous gray, rainy English Summers. My knowledge of Summer here is sunny days in the 70s, with a cool, fresh breeze in the shade, and evenings growing downright chilly.

Kind of like a typical April day in Tennessee.

Thanks so much for your responses, guys! I haven't been ignoring y'all - I've just been trying my damnedest not to spend every waking minute obsessively checking my email and reading about everything that could possibly go wrong!

I've been beating the heat thanks in part to a 2 day Twilight Zone marathon, lol. I think today I'll actually go OUT into the actual PUBLIC to do a little shopping. I need 2 more suitcases. I don't have enough stuff to actually hire a mover and checking additional baggage is quite a bit cheaper than mailing stuff over. Oy vey.

In other more exciting news, I received an email today from the consulate saying that my "UK visa application has been opened and your supporting documents organized in preparation for consideration by an Entry Clearance Officer". Yay!!! Also showing that as of 5 July, processing time is down to 9 business days!!