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Topic: Advice on etiquette?  (Read 1004 times)

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Advice on etiquette?
« on: February 17, 2011, 07:10:52 PM »
Hmm, I don't even know where to put this.  I wanted to post it on Facebook but I have some neighbors there so I figured I'd better not.

I live in a small cul-de-sac neighborhood, it's really nice and quiet, everyone gets along and knows everyone else.  One day about a week or two ago I was out walking my dog and an elderly lady stopped me to chat.  We talked for about 20 minutes and then I went on my way.  Well, just the other night she came to my house and asked me if I would like to have some porcelain dolls for my 12 year-old daughter.  I was really surprised, but kind of on the spot.  I said "Yes, thank you, that's very nice of you" because I was worried she'd be offended if I refused.  She asked me to bring my daughter over to come look at them, so I did, and we took home five porcelain dolls.  The lady used to be a collector, but since her husband has had a stroke she's had trouble keeping up with them, she said. 

The problem is, my daughter isn't really into dolls.  She's more into video games, books, movies, makeup, and music.  Teenage girl-type things.  We said we were going to have to build shelves in her bedroom to store them, and she asked us to please put them somewhere else, because she doesn't want to go to sleep with dolls staring at her.  But our house is so small, we have nowhere to store these things.  My husband told me to just take them because he didn't want me to hurt this lady's feelings.  But I feel really awkward about the whole thing.

Well, to make matters worse, she's come back tonight asking us to come look at more dolls.  I thought she had given us all of them, I can't believe she has more.  I am scared this is going to go on and on now, and she might start looking for dolls at car boot sales or something to give as a present to my daughter.  But I can't go back now and say we don't want them!  I know I got myself into this mess by not being truthful in the first place, but I didn't know what to say.  What should I do now?  Please help!! 
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Re: Advice on etiquette?
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2011, 07:15:14 PM »
Are there any other girls in the neighbourhood that you could suggest? You know, something like you'd hate to take advantage when someone else might like these dolls as well.
[Know what she means about having dolls stare at you. I once stayed in a B&B with dolls all over the place. Creeped me out)
>^.^<
Married and moved to UK 1974
Returned to US 1995
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Re: Advice on etiquette?
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2011, 07:21:44 PM »
Good idea, I'll try it!  I'm putting off going over but I need to go soon!   :-\\\\  I actually asked if any of her 21 grandchildren or 7 great-grandchildren that she told me about wanted them the first time I went, and she said, No, they already have too many toys!  The hard part is, I think she thinks she's doing something really really nice for my DD, and so it's hard to stop her from doing that, if you get my meaning.  There are a couple younger girls around though, I didn't even think of them, and they probably would really enjoy the dolls, because they're much younger than my DD.
Sep 2004 - Met online
Apr 2006 - Met IRL
27 Oct 2006 - Married in US
23 Sep 2009 - Spouse and dependent visas issued
30 Sep 2009 - Arrived in the UK!
20 Oct 2011 - Sent ILR application
12 Jan 2012 - Discretionary Limited Leave to Remain issued


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Re: Advice on etiquette?
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2011, 07:28:09 PM »
You said it yourself - your house is too small.  Just tell her it's lovely of her to think of your daughter but you just don't have the room for any more.
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Re: Advice on etiquette?
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2011, 07:42:03 PM »
Yikes - turns out she's already gifted the neighbor girls.  We just came home with EIGHT more dolls.  Including two dolls with 3 faces on one head.  Thankfully, she says that's the last of them.  Tomorrow I am going to buy her a card and some flowers as a thank you, because regardless of how we feel about them, it was a lovely gesture.  And then, I am going to brainstorm ways to store/hide these things.  And pray that some of the neighbor girls who come to play don't inform her that we aren't proudly displaying them.  I always say tell the truth, DH always says be diplomatic, and I always, somehow, end up right.  Sigh. 
Sep 2004 - Met online
Apr 2006 - Met IRL
27 Oct 2006 - Married in US
23 Sep 2009 - Spouse and dependent visas issued
30 Sep 2009 - Arrived in the UK!
20 Oct 2011 - Sent ILR application
12 Jan 2012 - Discretionary Limited Leave to Remain issued


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Re: Advice on etiquette?
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2011, 08:21:38 PM »
You could tuck them away somewhere with the rationalization that you don't want them to get broken -- or dusty -- or whatever.
>^.^<
Married and moved to UK 1974
Returned to US 1995
Irish citizenship June 2009
    Irish passport September 2009 
Retirement July 2012
Leeds in 2013!
ILR (Long Residence) 22 March 2016


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Re: Advice on etiquette?
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2011, 08:32:11 PM »
Or putting it away until she is older and can appreciate them. 


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