Language issues

I'm not sure that very many people will be able to relate to this, but I kind of need a good vent about it, so here goes:

The whole Gaelic thing is really getting to me.

Let me start by saying that I've always been good with languages.  They're sort of a hobby.  I speak Spanish well, have studied Latin, and can read/be polite in several other languages.  And even before I met my husband, I'd been interested in learning Gaelic, though I'd always concentrated on Irish, as there were a lot more learning resources available in my area.

I'm also a firm believer in preserving and supporting minority languages, and part of my reason for moving here, rather than having my husband move to the U.S., was that I didn't feel comfortable asking him to give up that language/cultural community. 

So, I came here with the best of intentions toward learning Gaelic.  And I do still want to.  Most of the time.  But I've become really ambivalent over the whole thing.

Mostly, I can deal with the fact that I only understand about half of the conversations that go on in our household.  But, particularly when I know I'm the subject, I do sometimes get annoyed at my husband, MIL and other family members/guests.  I'm sure they're not deliberately trying to exclude me, but that's sometimes how it feels.

I also find myself getting really annoyed with people who constantly ask me how my Gaelic is coming along, or tell me 'Oh, you'll have to learn Gaelic!'  I just want to tell them: a) It's not coming along at all, and b) No, actually, I don't.  I guess my natural stubbornness kicks in a bit.

And that's part of the problem.  I really don't need to learn it.  It's not as though everyone here doesn't speak English.  It's not as though day-to-day business can't be and isn't generally done in English.  It's not even as though there aren't plenty of people who are from here, or who've lived here for decades, and who still don't speak Gaelic themselves. 

Plus, I just feel unaccountably self-conscious about it.  I can't really explain it.  I've never felt that way about learning any other language.  But I'm just really embarrassed whenever my husband tries to get me to try Gaelic words and phrases (which, bless him, he never does in front of other people.)  Part of it is simply that it's really hard!  There are an awful lot of sounds that just aren't in any other language I've ever learned, and I just think 'I can't make that noise.'  And also, I suppose some of it is that I've noticed people are, frankly, kind of snobby about it.  They'll comment on how bad some radio presenter's Gaelic is, or how the Gaelic they teach at SMO (the Gaelic college) isn't real Gaelic, and basically make out that anyone who isn't an original, native, life-long speaker is somehow doing it wrong, or just being pretentious and trying to jump on the proverbial band-wagon.

And that's the other thing.  Even though I have picked up the odd bits of conversational Gaelic, I just feel weird using them.  It feels pretentious.  So even when I understand if someone asks me how I am, or if I want something, or comments on the weather... it just seems so unnatural to reply in Gaelic.  I feel like I'd be faking it.  I'd feel pretentious.  I can't really explain it any better than that.

But then, on the other side of all that, I still really do want to learn.  I'd like to understand my husband and in-laws (and, someday, our children), and I know it would help my chances of getting a proper job locally.  Also, on the (admittedly rather rare) occasions when people apologize to me for speaking Gaelic in front of me, I feel really guilty.  Why should they apologize?  I'm the odd one out. 

So, anyway, I just needed to get that out.  I don't know if anyone else has experienced anything like this or not.  It's not like living in a non-English speaking country, where obviously one would expect to learn another language.  And I don't know if any other UKY'ers living in Wales or NI are living in heavily Welsh or Irish-speaking families/communities.   But if anyone has been through this before and has any words of wisdom or consolation, I'm all ears.

Honestly, it probably IS like other peoples' experiences in countries where a non-English language is spoken, but the majority of the people speak English fluently or even better than you can expect to learn their language.  More people are probably in similar circumstances than you think, especially people who do not plan on actually taking up permanent residence or citizenship in countries where there is a high number of non-native English speakers.

I think that in a way, the fact they are speaking Gaelic is an advantage if you still want to learn the language.  No, you don't have to learn Gaelic, but in plenty of countries you can get along fine without speaking the native language.  You might even find it hard to get someone to not speak English to you, and that works against people who want to learn the native language.

I remember when I had learnt enough Finnish to feel like I could finally begin to have conversations with my school friends.  We went from having sort of fluent, complex conversations, to me sputtering along and some people picking on my accent (in those days, and I am sure even now, foreign accents were something that few heard in rural Finland).

I think you have to decide if you still want to learn it or not and that's that.  If you decide you don't think you want to learn it outside of a few phrases and words, be honest with your family.  When people ask, be honest and say it's going as well as you'd like it or you're taking your own pace.  If they are Gaelic speakers, maybe they are pleased that you're trying to learn it.  If they are from the States or other areas of the UK, maybe the curiosity is admiration.

Do you know what's different about Gaelic than other languages?  I sort of disliked French in that way, but have loved learning other languages.  Is it just Gaelic or your status as an immigrant?

Do you know what's different about Gaelic than other languages?  I sort of disliked French in that way, but have loved learning other languages.  Is it just Gaelic or your status as an immigrant?

I think the language issue and the immigrant issue complicate each other, at least a bit.  But I'm not sure how to untangle that.

I suppose the thing that's making this different, apart from what I mentioned about the element of snobbery among native speakers, is that it's just really hard!  It supposedly has more phonemes than any other European language, with the exception of Russian.  So when my husband tries to teach me to say something, he has to repeat it about a dozen times before I can actually hear all the syllables.  Last time I told him 'That can't be real.  There were no consonants.' 

I'm sure it'll get easier if I can get into some sort of course.  If I can put sounds together with written words, it might give me something more concrete to help me make sense of what I'm hearing.  I had planned on taking a course, but I missed the registration as it was just before I moved, and though there have been a few beginners workshops and things offered, my current job doesn't give leave time in my schedule to participate.

If I'm being objective, I know I need to cut myself some slack as well.  It's been four months.  It's unrealistic to expect myself to be near-fluent in four months, with no real training at all.  I studied Spanish for years, and had really excellent teachers the whole time.  I think I'm just feeling generally short on confidence lately. I guess that's where the immigrant thing comes in.

woadgrrl- its a really, really, really hard (but can be quite beautiful) language and makes no sense!!!  

It must definitely feel like a huge burden on your shoulders though, cultural shock of the highest degree- no large shops close, windy mountainous roads with sheep in them everywhere  ,  pros and cons to that, etc and to also have to learn a new language, its really very tough. (I do think you have a very different moving experience than most on UKY, though a few others like Meshell, Orkneytime, to name two, can relate to the small island community and remoteness)

So I think you do need to cut yourself some slack and I would say try not to force it, I think over time, words will slowly infiltrate your language and you'll feel less like a poser.  And yeah, do take a course or several and go with the flow. Hopefully people will soon appreciate you learning, especially as you're resident and not a tourist, and it will fall into place. Your confidence will improve with more and more practice.  But give yourself time and try not to stress too much. (Easier said than done, otherwise you wouldn't be posting  )

Also, try and watch tv in the language, local channels, BBC Alba,  whatever, and that way you can kind of get in your head what's being said, even if you don't fully understand.  And listen to the music as well, and look up the cultural history and meanings of the songs.

Good luck with it though, so very hard!!  
  

I can only imagine how difficult it is.  I know when I went to Wales to do some research, I had a taste of the thing where you know people are talking about you but you can't understand what they're saying.  I went to the National Library of Wales and requested some books that they don't normally take out for the average person.  There were 4 people standing 10 feet away from me having an in depth debate about what to do, in Welsh, gesturing toward me the entire time, and it just made me so self-conscious.

I guess what I'm saying is, if that brief moment could make me feel down, it must be so tough living it everyday.  Definitely cut yourself some slack.  You sound like you're putting in as much effort as you can for having to deal with all the other stuff that comes with moving over here.  Plus, your heart is in the right place.  You do want to learn it, but it's just a bit of a struggle.  People can't hold that against you.

It really is such a tough language, but like PB said, if you watch the TV, listen to the radio, etc. that should probably help to at least immerse you in it a bit more and it's something you can do on your own without pressure from other people. 

Also something you might possibly be able to consider...  my BF is from Mull, where they don't really speak Gaelic anymore, it kind of died out with his grandparents' generation.  However, they still teach Gaelic at the schools.  Do you know if they do the same thing in South Uist?  You might be able to talk to the teacher about getting some materials or help, at least until that course is on again?

Hang in there! 

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. 

I've got all sorts of learning materials (my MIL is a retired teacher), and listen to Gaelic radio & tv daily (like it or not).  I've always listened to Gaelic music, so I do know how it sounds.  The problem I have is that I can't attach that to anything.  Part of it is the language itself, and part of it is the local accents.

I really do need to take a regular course.  They offer little workshops locally (say hello & talk about the weather), and of course the nurseries & schools all do Gaelic medium instruction, but there aren't really any full-on courses taught locally.  I think it's kind of assumed that everyone will already know, or won't care.  So I'm going to have to wait until Sabhal Mor Ostaig do another distance learning course, I think.  I just don't know when that's going to be, because they haven't updated their schedule.

BBC has online, self-guided language courses including Scots Gaelic:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/alba/foghlam/learngaelic/

I looked at it when I first came here and couldn't make heads or tails of it (and I'm also "good" with romance languages) but it may help.

It sounds like, even if you're not comfortable speaking Gaelic, comprehending would help you feel at ease. When you (generic you) don't understand what people are saying you always assume the worst but when you can pick out even just one word in five, you realize they're talking about Apprentice and not how much they hate your haircut.