Hurricane due to hit NYC Sunday

I am a horrible, horrible person.  I know that people have died and suffered far me than I have, but all I really care about is  my destroyed dream wedding.  I keep reading articles about other people's weddings and thinking that their problems were nothing compared to ours.  Like I said, I'm a bad, bad person. 

I'll always be pissed about Irene and upset when people get weddings that aren't taken away from them. 

You said it yourself, but....if that's the worst of your problems, i'd say you're a lucky, lucky girl. Try to keep that in mind when complaining. 

Think of how you would feel if your wedding had gone on as originally planned and people had been injured.

Think of how you would feel if your wedding had gone on as originally planned and people had been injured.

It was cancelled for nothing, the area the original venue was in didn't flood, no one who didn't come was flooded either.

You said it yourself, but....if that's the worst of your problems, i'd say you're a lucky, lucky girl. Try to keep that in mind when complaining. 

Have you had your dream wedding stolen?  Then don't comment. 

It was cancelled for nothing, the area the original venue was in didn't flood, no one who didn't come was flooded either.

You couldn't have known that, though.

I can't speak for PickledSakura, but I never had a "dream wedding". I had a registry wedding with about 15 guests because I was on a fiance visa and couldn't work, and I was saving money to pay for my  FLR. No one from my family came to my wedding because I didn't expect them to spend money on a flight to the UK or to pay for a place to stay here (DH and I couldn't afford to pay for them), and it would have been difficult for my elderly parents to travel.

Regardless, my wedding was the happiest day of my life because I married the man of my dreams. I don't understand how people can complain about their weddings. What can be better than being married to someone you love, no matter how it happened?

It it beyond me why no one understands how hurt and disappointed my husband and I are about this.  Our wedding was ruined, half the people didn't show, our pictures are all inside a crappy hotel.  We had dreamed of this our entire lives and it was crapped all over.  Yes, we're happy no one we know was hurt, yes we're happy to be married, but that doesn't alleviate the feeling of loss that we have and it doesn't have too and it never will. 

I think everyone understands that you're upset, and of course it's going to be devastating when you plan and plan and plan for something and it falls apart. 

But, you know, there are a lot of people who have a lot of reasons to be upset.  I have friends who still don't have power.  I have one friend whose shop, her livelihood, was flooded out and all of the gorgeous vintage furnishings she was selling have been severely damaged.  Another friend had his car stolen in Atlantic City during the hurricane while he was being evacuated out.  The neighbours down the road got 2 feet of water in their basement and need to replace a whole lot of stuff down there.

The thing is, it might be best to try to move past it now.  What's done is done.  You can't change it, and for your own peace of mind it can't help to dwell on it.  Look forward to the fact that you have a whole new exciting chapter of your life ahead of you! 

It it beyond me why no one understands how hurt and disappointed my husband and I are about this.  Our wedding was ruined, half the people didn't show, our pictures are all inside a crappy hotel.  We had dreamed of this our entire lives and it was crapped all over.  Yes, we're happy no one we know was hurt, yes we're happy to be married, but that doesn't alleviate the feeling of loss that we have and it doesn't have too and it never will.  

I think people understand that you are disappointed, of course you are. But it was your initial posting which came across that the worst thing about this hurricane was that your wedding plans were disrupted. Yes from a personal perspective thats bad but some people lost there homes, their livelihoods or even their lives. Perhaps not posting up on a message board at the time you are feeling so down is sound advice.
I initially read your comment and thought it seemed selfish and out of order but decided against commenting because I didn't know what you were going through.....I remember 3 years ago that we were on Amelia Island, Florida for our wedding...the only guests were my sister and brother in law, and my best friend and his partner who had all flown over from the UK. We were tracking a hurricane (think it was Earl) that first looked destined for Florida but then changed course and made landfall near Houston, our immediate reaction was relief and pleasure and then we said "perhaps we shouldn't feel so happy that Houston just got hit with a hurricane".
I was planning a trip to New Orleans when Katrina hit, I counted myself fortunate and when the airline agreed not only to allow me to change plans and go to Chicago but also compensated me as well I felt bad that I should receive anything and donated the entire compensation to the relief fund.
Your story about how everyone rallied around to make sure your wedding took place is what you should focus on, that will be a great memory for you, perhaps more so than what your original wedding would have been, because this shows the depth of feeling and love of your family and friends.

I can't speak for anyone else, and I'm pretty sure how this is going to go, so the smarter part of me says I shouldn't post at all because you seem to want to just wallow in bitterness.  However, you also said a few days ago you hope the feeling goes away, so maybe you need to hear some difficult truths. 

Obviously, the hurricane ruined your wedding, and I don't think anyone is disputing that or saying you shouldn't be profoundly disappointed, but there's a level of bitterness and anger in your posts that seems way over the top.  For example, many people on this thread and your other wedding threads have been very supportive and said how bad they felt for you, but you say:

...no one understands how hurt and disappointed my husband and I are about this. 

No one?  Read the posts again; lots of people have offered nothing but support.

...we're happy to be married, but that doesn't alleviate the feeling of loss that we have ... and it never will. 

Never?  In 10 or 20 years you're still going to be this angry about something which was totally out of your control? 

People are cancelling faster than we can pick up the phone.  I'm sending them all bills for the money I've spent on them, or, when they send a gift I'm just going to return to sender, I don't want it.

You're angry at the relatives who wouldn't travel into a hurricane the size of Europe for your wedding?  Assuming they did want to risk their lives for your happiness, how were they supposed to get there with all the airports closed and the cities evacuated?

There were a few people we didn't invite to the wedding because we knew they wouldn't be able to make it and we didn't want them to feel obliged to send a gift.  Odd thing is that most of them have. 

You're still going to be angry at the people who bought you a gift but weren't invited?  How is that inconvenient or annoying?

...no one who didn't come was flooded either.

This sounds like you would be happier if they had been flooded?  Would that have made your wedding more successful?

I keep posting snarky comments on articles about other people's hurricane weddings.

How could that possibly help?

I'll always be ... upset when people get weddings that aren't taken away from them.

Really?  Because most people have trouble-free weddings.  You're going to be upset a lot.

Now, I have a feeling you're going to tell me to STFU because I never had a wedding ruined, and while that's true, I have been fired from a job I really liked, been laid off from a job I really liked, and been through both my parents being diagnosed with cancer, so I have a little experience in dealing with adversity.

My advice to you is get over it.  If for no other reason, holding on to bitterness is bad for your health:

http://www.theatlantic.com/life/archive/2011/08/the-psychology-of-bitterness-10-essential-lessons/244064/#slide1

In keeping with the topic of the thread, we're an official disaster area now!

President Obama Declares NJ a Disaster Area...

Following NOT's lead, Photos: Hurricane Irene Leaves Behind a Trail of Destruction

What camoscato said, since he said it so much better than I would have.

You know Sscarllet, I've been hesitating to comment on your wedding thread and address your other hurricane related comments because while I do understand how disappointed you are, I've found your tone a bit much.

But frankly, you need a reality check.

I actually did get a pretty good wedding. It was held in Devon during the most ridiculous rain storm locals had seen in years. All the beautiful outdoor shots at the ancient church I'd hoped for never happened. I was REALLY bummed but happy I was married.

And you know what, 4 years later that marriage ended through no fault of my own. All the lovely pictures I did get, I don't even want to look at ever again.

So I'd suggest you count your blessings and focus on what really matters. There are no guarantees in life.

Cam - half of what you pulled off were things I said prior to the venue cancelling my wedding.  We actually saved thousands of dollars by them cancelling.  I don't find it inconvenient that people sent me gifts, I was just surprised and felt bad for not inviting them.  Don't put words in my mouth.

I'm done in this thread now.

So on that note, I think it's appropriate to close this thread.