First: Yay for the new Pet Forum!!!
Second: We have a 2 year old mutt who has some pretty consistent separation anxiety and we're not sure how to deal with it. Pardon me for the long-winded background, but just so that I cover all my bases...
We got him when he was 7 weeks old. Too soon, in my opinion, but the guy who owned the mother was sketchy, and he wanted the puppies out by 7 weeks. We were worried that he would give our puppy to someone else if we waited the extra week. Once we brought him home, we had a lady come to the house in the morning to take him for puppy daycare every day until he was about 7 months. By then he was old enough to be able to be left alone for a few hours without needing to be taken outside so we stopped.
During this whole time, he had quickly gotten over being upset when we would leave in the morning (the lady would come about 30 minutes after we left). I think the routine made him get used to it, and he was fine. However, he would, and still does, get upset if we leave at any time of the day other than the morning. He starts to fret when we he sees us put our coats or shoes on. He'll howl once the door is closed. We have to keep him in the crate because he will chew, but there's been evidence that he's bashed himself against it, so we hate the idea of keeping him in there because he might hurt himself. I have also been unemployed, which hasn't helped matters because he gets used to someone being home.
Even now, he's fine in the morning when BF and kiddo leave to go to work/school, and I'm home. But if it's a Saturday and BF and kiddo leave to go into town to pick up stuff for lunch, and I'm still home, he freaks out.
We've tried the leave-repeatedly-for-increasing-amounts-of-time thing for stretches but it hasn't seemed to have much effect. Do we just keep doing it? We've also tried putting our coats and shoes on and then just sit down to watch TV or make dinner, so that he doesn't automatically see it as a sign that we're leaving. Hasn't helped!
He also gets nervous around shops because we tried training him to wait outside like other dogs when we go in to get something. He completely freaks out. Even if one person stands outside with him, he freaks out because another one has gone in. If two of us go for a walk with him and then we separate, he freaks out that one person has gone one way when he and the other are going another way.
What do we do? I've grown up having dogs, and they've always just "gotten it" after a few months. I don't remember my parents doing anything in particular. Just carrying on with life!
I just really want to get this under control it's not even so much that it's annoying as it is upsetting. I would love to be able to let him lounge around the house when we leave, and I would love to be able to not have to worry about how anxious and upset he gets when we leave. He's just so distressed sometimes, I hate to see him like that.
Any advice, suggestions, or help would be greatly appreciated.