Venting. My life is falling apart!!

My son from a previous marriage and I have been living here for over two years. First on the fiance visa then I married my now husband and have been on the two year spousal visa. The marriage has fallen apart sadly. He began seeing someone else (though I can't prove it) before he ended up moving in with some friends about five months ago. He's now in a relationship with her. I didn't want it to end. It was hard but I came to terms with it, gotten past the anger and we are friendly with each other again. My son loves him and they have a relationship which is some consolation.

I have since met someone and things are going great. So, here I am an American living in the UK on a two year visa and my husband leaves me for someone else. Life goes on. I meet someone and that's going well. All normal life stuff. S**t happens. I have a home, a job I love, my son has his school and friends, our whole life is here! There's nothing in the US. My parents passed away many years ago, no other close family. I have nothing there at all. I find out that when this visa runs out, I have to leave because of my husband's decision? I couldn't afford to move back right now if I had to. Two years of roots planted in a place and apparently I have to start all over from square one if I want to continue in my current relationship. First, go back to the US when this visa expires where I have nothing and no one. Wait 2 YEARS before I can divorce because of British law requiring separation? Then I can go through the stupid visa process AGAIN spending thousands of £ AGAIN? Waiting and fretting about being approved again???

My husband said he would sign anything I wanted for the next visa but we aren't living together. He gets mail here, his name's on the bills still but we aren't living like "husband and wife" nor do we intend again. I haven't told my son yet but it will break his heart. His biological father has never been in his life so there's not even that to go back to for him. My husband is the closest thing he's had to a dad his entire life. I'm just in tears over this.

How frustrating.

Unfortunatly, that's how the rules are and there is nothing you can do to circumvent them that won't get you into trouble. The rules don't really account for real life variences and the risk immigrents take by uprooting their life and moving to a completely different country.

However, you can divorce in the states. And if you go to a state with no waiting period, and if he isn't contesting you should be able to do it fairly quickly.

As to everything else, it is something you need to discuss with your current partner. I wish all of this was easier, but it just isn't. But hopefully things will work out for you.

I have no advice to give, but I am sending you hugs.

I was really sorry to hear this. (((((((Big Hugs))))))))  I'm very concerned about you. I was putting myself in your shoes and I honestly don't know what I'd do except find a really good solicitor, if you can. Since you have no place to go back to in America, can you have a case for "hardship"?  A solicitor could determine this.  You could also see a psychiatrist if the stress is making you depressed, etc... and get a written confirmation from him about how it would not be beneficial to your health to leave the country.  Just a thought.  Good luck to you, the breakup of your marriage was difficult enough without having to go through all this stress.

I'm soo sorry to hear about your struggles Slu! That's such a hard position to be in! ((BIG HUGS!!))

I'm not much help either, but when I called the US Embassy the other day to get the name on my Soc. Card changed, I could have sworn there was an option for help for American's struggling financially or something like that on the option list. Worse come to worse, you might want to explore that option as last resort??

I hope things work out! I'm praying for you!

I'm sure there's some way the UKBA will let you stay in the country.