Missing California

*whew* those responses werent as bas as i was expecting and i feel that Stella Marie and Mindy put this discussion to a beautifully clear and direct end. I now understand what you mean but please (and i stress please) do not misunderstand the way i put about staying here through the mourning and depression. it wasnt meant to come out as a "well if you dont like it, go the heck back" or anything of the sort. it was just my young (and perhaps naive) outlook of, if youre feeling so distressed and depressed over it... is it really worth the pain to stay? Now of course i do not know everyone situations (if i did i probably would have kept my trap shut) but that was my first outlook on the subject. Also, as you could tell i did move over here with my parents and (true) i do not have in-laws just yet. I do not mean to sound rude, ignorant, or isolating anyone. I (out of many people) understand the isolation... i dread the day when i have the experiences everyone brings up, especially since i am (and have been for 3 years now) a manic-depressive. The shock that will hit me hard, and when it does... THEN i'll speak up Now that i look at everyone who has been here for years compared to my 7weeks, i see how someone could think "what the hell does she know? shes young and fresh to the country! ive been here for years!" but i was just playing on my own experiences which have been limited but true to my own life. im just babbling now *lol* but the fact is that i now understand (without feeling 'attacked') what you meant and what the outlook of everyone is. Im happy to hear that you can see it from my P.O.V. as well.

Awwww! Everyone, c'mere, big group hug! 

 





PS - Re the mourning and counseling; sometimes it helps to have the chance to put the changes in your life into a different perspective. Once you can see that the isolation and depression you have been feeling are valid responses to massive changes in your life, and you recognize the depression for the mourning it is, it's like a weight gets lifted and you can start living the life you wanted when you moved here. You have to process and let go of the life you left behind, and in many ways that is like having a death of someone you loved to deal with. So going to counseling is not like torture or that you are really in so much pain you should just give it up and walk away (running away rarely solves problems, but that's another issue!), it's actually a good tool to make things better, to alliveate the depression and equip you to get out there. For a lot of us, this is where our lives are going to be, so it's not as simple as just leaving; there may be kids involved, spouses, jobs. So whatever you can do to learn to really live here is a good thing, even if it involves a little pain. Life does that everywhere you live, anyway

Take care.

PPS You also sound like you've got a good head on your shoulder in your ability to step back and see things from different perspectives. Keep it up, that's a good skill to have.

PPS You also sound like you've got a good head on your shoulder in your ability to step back and see things from different perspectives. Keep it up, that's a good skill to have.

thank you very much, i can be as pigheaded as the next fella (or gal) but i know i was wrong and theres no point fighting a topic i was in the wrong (or rude) with.