Is the best option repatriation?

Im new here so i guess i should introduce myself. My name is Nikki i'm originally from Oregon...i met my now husband online who is a UK citizen and  we fell inlove two weeks after chatting so we decided to meet up in person. He came to visit me in oregon and we got along ao well i didnt want him to leave.

He came and visited me 3 more times after that stayed for a fw weeks and finally decided that on his next visit he'll stay with me for good and we'll work on any legal issues while hes here..so a week before he was due to comw back to me in Oregon he decided to send an email to his ex girlfriend and tell her that he was moving to america and some other closure crap he claimed he was giving himself. So when he arrived in the states the homeland security stopped him.


They interviewed him about his intentions and because he had a tux in his suitcase and lied about it they figured he was arriving to marry me illegally..and for further investigation they checked his emails and sure wnough they spotted the email he sent to his ex stating in black and white he was moving to america so they denied him entry and sent him back to the UK.

So we were pretty much seperated for 20 weeks and i made the step to come to england. I got pregnant a month after being here in england and my visa was due to expire soon so i had to go back to pregon and apply for a uk entry clearance..i stayed with my parents in Oregon for 8 weeks..paid the fee, got the visa and went back to him..after a few months of staying cooped in the house 24/7 i started getting homesick and i decided to play some online bingo and slots because it reminded of home and my parents due to the fact we would go to native american casinos together.

I became a gambling addict and i still am to this day. Im depressed and now a mother of two kids that are british citizens. I have hurt my children and husband so many times financially that i lost count. I cannot stop..my husband calls me a selfish cow because i "refuse to change and stop this gambling addiction nonsense" i love my husband but i dont feel inlove with him as much as i used to because throughout my years being wit him i never felt at home here..his family are ok but they are notmthat social and his mother is dull and stays in her room all day unless shes cleaning or has to go out to get her benefits. Im cooped up in a house all day taking care of the kids while he works..the reason i feel im not inlove with him as much as i used to be is because i made a mistake of sleeping with another man when i went back to the states last year. I keep getting depressed and homesick and wonder if i should just repatriate back to america with my youngest and leave my oldest with her father..any advice would be appreciated

Also since i have lived here..i have always had to watch my tongue because he could easily kick me out with only the clothes on my back even though i invested thousands into this relationship and contributed to his family. I feel inferior because we live with his mom, who thinks im a nuisance and selfish because of my gambling, his brother who has aspergers and his two teenage nephews aswell as our two small children. I feel numb and dont know what to do

I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. I think that perhaps you should see your GP about feeling depressed and numb, and about your addiction.

You need to be very careful about going back to the US with your children, as there can be consequences of taking your children away from their father without his permission, in line with the Hague Convention.

So, how long have you lived in the UK, and what visa are you on?

Yes im going to my gp to speak with her about my addiction and depression next week so hopefully ill  find some professional help with my situation...i have lived here for 6 years now and im a full uk resident..spent thousands of pounds on visas so i have the Indefinite leave to remain visa

Well, if you have ILR you do have options, because you can remain in the UK even if your marriage breaks down.  Honestly, it sounds like things might be better for you if you got out of your MIL's house, maybe found a job you enjoyed that gave you a life of your own, so to speak.  But missjoules is right; you cannot just take your child out of the UK without permission from the father.  The UK takes international kidnapping very seriously, and without permission that's what they'd consider it, regardless of the fact that you are the mother. 

Yeah i have contemplated on jobs when my children get older but as for taking my son back with me to america...what if i was to apply for a us passport for my son?

Yeah i have contemplated on jobs when my children get older but as for taking my son back with me to america...what if i was to apply for a us passport for my son?

Well, if your son is a US citizen (which he is - both your children are dual US/UK citizens and can have both UK and US passports), then he will be legally required to have a US passport in order to enter the US, because it's illegal for US citizens to enter or leave the US on a foreign passport.

However, simply getting him a US passport isn't going to solve your problem. The US passport is a requirement for him to be able go back to the US anyway, but if you take him out of the country without his father's permission it would still be considered international kidnapping.

Yeah thats true...i still plan on getting him a us passport. But i guess i should just stay for the kids sake and then possibly return home when the children are older. Be easier that way i suppose.

I would encourage you to reach out to the folks at GamCare who will likely have greater background in the mental health aspect of a gambling addiction than your GP may.  I would still see your GP, but this is something you will need to work on with a mental health professional.  GamCare is a good first step, and the person in charge of counselor training has been a recognized problem gambling expert for many years.  They may have a list of resources in your area that you can contact to help overcome your problem.

Yes i did get in touch with them and they referred me to a  gambling expert in my area...i have an appointment with them next wednesday so fingers crossed