Best burger/velveeta substitute

Hey all.
I live up north kind of in the middle of nowhere but I'm looking for a good ol fashioned American Greasy 4000 Calorie burger.
Any good chains or anybody know of anyplace in cumbria?
Even buying my own meat for it, where can you get higher fat content meat?
I'm also a big cheese dip fan. My family mailed me some Rotel Tomatoes for Christmas, But I don't know what kind of Cheese to melt it in with.
Any suggestions would be great!

Can't help you with the burger chain side of things. Mostly I've found that UK burgers simply don't stack up to US ones. I can't put my finger on what they are doing wrong exactly but there is something just not right about them.

Anyhow, for the higher fat content meat, if you can't find it in your local Sainsbury's/tesco/asda/Lidl, then you might try finding a local butcher who will grind it for you. Though I think I've found higher fat content ground beef at Lidl before.

The Brits really aren't into their fake cheese products the way we are, so I have no suggestions for you to get your velveeta rotel dip fix. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.

There are Five Guys burger  places located in different parts of England,  they are just as nice and greasy and heavenly as I remember them being back in the states! And they have REAL SOUR DILL PICKLES for them! ^_^


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No advice on the burgers. I was never a huge fan but I did like one once in awhile. Mmm In and Out Burger...  You're right though, the burgers here taste strange. Very dense. Very unyummy.

I've not seen any velveeta substitutes, the closest I've seen is this squeezy cheese. I used this in broccoli and cheese casserole over Christmas. It didn't taste very good. I'm not sure if it's because it's not tasty or I've forgotten what fakish cheese is suppose to taste like. http://www.tesco.com/groceries/product/details/?id=268734936

Hope this helps.

I may be off help for people who want to make their own "american" cheese!

I don't think they have colby cheese here though. That's what velveeta/american cheese was originally based off of, at least I swear I read that on some site when I was looking for a good nacho cheese replacement last year.

This recipe you have to log in to get it. As it's America's Test Kitchen, it should be good. I made Boston Cream cupcakes of theirs and they were AWESOME.

http://www.americastestkitchenfeed.com/do-it-yourself/2011/09/how-to-make-american-cheese/

Here is another one that's similar that you don't have to have an account for.
http://recipes.latimes.com/recipe-homemade-processed-cheese/

You can make your own velveeta if you have the time. All it takes is boiling water, dry milk, unflavoured gelatin, and cheddar cheese!

http://www.grouprecipes.com/75953/homemade-velveeta-cheese.html

You can also make your own 'rotel' with chopped tomatoes from a can and canned green chillies/jalapenos. Just play with the amounts until you're happy with it! 

I get all my mince from a local butcher, and it's far juicier/superior than anything in a supermarket. I sear both sides on a very high heat, then cook to medium well, add my toppings, and enjoy. My butcher has eaten at Five Guys at the Trafford Center, and he likes it. I haven't been, but some day....if I can get DH to venture out (he hates leaving home for anything).

I've had 2 burgers at restaurants, and found both to be pretty tasteless. Part of the problem is that restaurants in the UK are required to cook burgers well done....and many assume that means so well done that any semblance of flavor is long since gone.

The other issue I see is using pre-made burgers that are pressed/compacted within an inch of its life. Then they go in the pan, and the 'chef' proceeds to mash whatever juice might be left right out of them. The result is inevitably a crap tasteless burger, no matter where you get it....I've seen the same thing happen in the US.

Can't help with the velvetta, but I 2nd the comment of mixing jalapenos with tomatoes to make your own 'rotel'.

The supermarkets all do a "value" "smart price" range of ground beef (mince).  They're all about 25% fat or thereabouts and make good burgers.

They also do horrible fake cheese slices which taste just as awful as the american fake cheese.

A lot of the pre-made burgers have fillers (bread, etc) in them, so that will automatically make it more dense after cooking.

Get yourself to the butcher and get them to grind up (or grind it yourself if you have the way to do so) chuck or blade or neck or braising steak (depending on availability and what they call it) - Make sure the steak has a fair bit of marbling through it to get a high % of fat content.  Make into patties and cook to taste!

Can't help with the velveeta,as it's not something I ever ate and therefore, don't crave.  You can probably find velveeta on the internet though?   

Mark, I don't know whereabouts in Cumbria you are, but Glasgow is only a little over an hour from Carlisle on the train, and we have 2 Five Guys burger places here, plus a load of other 'gourmet' burger places.