Dealing with facts

The other day I came to the realization that the girl I love may not be able to live with me any time in the near future and I dunno how to deal with this, Any other problem with our relationship I have managed to think of a clever way round the problem but with immigration into the UK there's no way around it and I really don't know what to do.

Every time someone told me what we wanted to do wouldn't be possible I found out information to prove that It could happen but now I find that even if I'm on PIP Ill still have to be getting an amount of money so I can support us both which doesn't seem possible right now.

It feels like its my fault. Every time someone has upset her saying that it will take 10 years to get her here or that she wont be allowed on the NHS or that there's no way we will be able to afford the fees I have turned round and proved them wrong and made her feel better but I cant do that this time. I cant think of a way round this. Maybe I could qualify if I was fit for work but I'm really not my anxiety and fitness in general are pretty bad and if I wasn't like this the income level wouldnt be an issue.

Has anyone else here had to deal with this? and how do you?

I mean I could get her over on a 6 month visitor visa but that still wont feel like were working towards a permanent solution.

I love her so much and I wish there was something i could do.

Every time someone told me what we wanted to do wouldn't be possible I found out information to prove that It could happen but now I find that even if I'm on PIP Ill still have to be getting an amount of money so I can support us both which doesn't seem possible right now.

Have you worked out your actual incomings and outgoings to see if you can make it work?

Do you get benefits that cover your rent and council tax?

If so, then you just need to show that you receive at least £114.85 per week outside of this.

Alternatively, if you were living with family members and weren't paying rent or council tax to them (or just paying a small contribution towards them), then you would only need the £114.85 per week plus anything you contribute.

It feels like its my fault. Every time someone has upset her saying that it will take 10 years to get her here or that she wont be allowed on the NHS

Yeah, it definitely wouldn't be 10 years to get her here, though if you can find a way to meet the requirement to get her here, it may potentially be 10 years before she could become a permanent resident, but she would still be able to live in the UK with you and able to access the NHS for those 10 years.

or that there's no way we will be able to afford the fees I have turned round and proved them wrong and made her feel better but I cant do that this time.

Do be aware that the fees ARE very expensive - you're looking at potentially £1,000-2,000 in fees every 2.5 years... currently it costs about £6,000 in visa fees to get from the first visa to citizenship, and those fees are rising every year.

I dont understand why they think the can charge so much.

Right now i get my rent and council tax payed for me. Ill soon get a reduction on my heating cost too. If I get accepted for PIP I shouldn't have to be earning £18,000 but ill still need to have enough to look after us both.
PIP should help increasing my income along with when my ESA health assessment comes through, I may well be able to look after her. Its just saving for the visas themself.

I had no idea that the income I had to have coming in on PIP was so much easyer to achieve.

I had an idea that while i know visa fees rise each year my mums well off so if i get her over for 6 months just as a guest and she meets mum a few times and mum sees that im serious about this girl mum might help with the visa cost. But I need to show her im not rushing things so I think getting her over as like a vacation for her is a good move. It should give PIP time to come into effect and my income to go up.

Its a long shot but i hope it works. knowing about what income i need really helped.

MAYBE you could both work for the summer in America at a camp or something similar.  I met my wife working at Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain National Park.  You would be able to spend several months together at the very least.  I don't think visas for that are very difficult to get. 

Of course, you would have to be able to travel and work and only you know if that's something you can do.


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The other day I came to the realization that the girl I love may not be able to live with me any time in the near future and I dunno how to deal with this, Any other problem with our relationship I have managed to think of a clever way round the problem but with immigration into the UK there's no way around it and I really don't know what to do.

Every time someone told me what we wanted to do wouldn't be possible I found out information to prove that It could happen but now I find that even if I'm on PIP Ill still have to be getting an amount of money so I can support us both which doesn't seem possible right now.

It feels like its my fault. Every time someone has upset her saying that it will take 10 years to get her here or that she wont be allowed on the NHS or that there's no way we will be able to afford the fees I have turned round and proved them wrong and made her feel better but I cant do that this time. I cant think of a way round this. Maybe I could qualify if I was fit for work but I'm really not my anxiety and fitness in general are pretty bad and if I wasn't like this the income level wouldnt be an issue.

Has anyone else here had to deal with this? and how do you?

I mean I could get her over on a 6 month visitor visa but that still wont feel like were working towards a permanent solution.

I love her so much and I wish there was something i could do.

I do wish you all the positives you will need..research and you will find a way..i am going through on a different level but it will come..it i promise you that.. prayers for you..