I've held back from posting because I'm biased and I've not lived in Essex for a few years, about 7 of them. But as I keep coming back to this topic I'm going to go ahead and respond.
I lived in Essex for 5-6 years, specifically Brentwood and Hornchurch. While doing this I worked in London and commuted to either Liverpool Street or Fenchurch Street Station daily. My husband's parents live in Upminster and his school friends are mostly in Chelmsford, Basildon and other smaller towns around that area.
We lived in Brentwood for a couple reasons. When I moved here, only my husband had a job, in Upminster, and the commute was short for him. At the time we looked at Chelmsford, Brentwood and Basildon and settled in Brentwood because it provided the shortest commute for him with the most space on our tiny budget (£550 for a 1 bedroom, no garden, above a shop 12.5 years ago). When I got a job in London I did the Upminster to Fenchurch Street line daily (husband dropped me off on his way to work), and later Emerson Park (it's a small area of Hornchurch) to either Liverpool Street or Fenchurch Street daily.
Travel & Train Times: easy peasy. We actually looked at Upminster for a bit rather than London. The key in my mind is to get as close to a station as possible. It saves substantially on commuting time and cost. Trains were a plenty from Upminster. Less so from Emerson Park - it's a branch line, but it was closer to London with cheaper rents and more space so we moved there. I worked in South London so my commute was around 90 minutes in the morning and 120 minutes in the evening. If I timed in right and could get into work early I could cut that down to 70 minutes in the morning! I'd find out about any potential employer's flexible working policy. If I arrived at 8:15 / 8:30 the trains were less crowded and I got to work much more quickly. One boss was happy for me to do that for 2-3 weeks and then take half a day or day off.
I much preferred to arrive into Fenchurch Street. Cleaner, nicer, newer trains with less stops. I still travel both lines with some regularity to see my in-laws.
Train Costs: on my dear lord, sell your soul now. I paid around £1,800-£2,000 per year (and I didn't park at the stations) over 7 years ago.
I just checked, Emerson Park with Zone 6 Travelcard is currently £2,500/year so not as bad as I thought! Brentwood is £3,550 and Chelmsford is £5,000.
Train Seats: BAHAHAHA! I tell the greatest jokes, don't I?
Yard space I can't really comment on this directly, it's not something we were looking for. Our friends do have yards, but most own by now.
Rental Cost 7 years ago we were paying £850 / month for a 2 bedroom garden flat in Emerson Park. I'm guessing that you can do house and yard space on the top end of your budget in the Essex area. Keep in mind most landlords aren't exactly pet friendly. I think that's going to be your biggest pet related hurdle.
2.) Are there enough stores so you don't feel like you live out in the middle of no-where but also not too many so you feel like you live in a concrete jungle?
Yes, actually. I lliked Brentwood. It was green with parks and walks. A large Sainsbury's right in the middle of town and some smaller shops for basics like sandwiches, pharmacy, coffee, etc. Emerson Park was greener. We moved for the space inside the flat and garden, but I hate driving and found the area to be more difficult to navigate with us living further away from the actual town, Hornchurch.
3.) Overpriced for what you get in the area? (ie: I know some of these areas are more expensive because they are near commuter hubs but is the pay off worth it for it being a beautiful city, lots of parks, easy to get out of town, low crime, nearby shopping w/o feeling congested, etc.)
Upminster, yes, a bit overpriced. Brentwood, yes and no, but that's my norm. Hornchurch is not a pretty town, but these places are all within a 15 minute drive of each other so getting some place a bit nicer is not that difficult.
4.) Historic - We both historic areas, beautiful old buildings, nice nature areas, etc.
I think you're going to have trouble packing this all into a town unless you're willing to drive a bit. I can certainly recommend places to see in Chelmsford, Brentwood, and those areas, but if you want space with a yard you may have to drive to the closest beautiful old buildings or nice nature areas. The balance of town and country that I think you're trying to strike is an age old problem and something everyone wants which means pricey.
Areas of that part of Essex I'm familiar with:
Shenfield - smaller town, has a pub, but not much variety. Main stop on the train (not sure why, it's certainly not the largest), and very green.
Brentwood - larger town, lots of pubs! Trains not as nice or quick. But a lovely town with a fair bit to do. It's on the A12 and near the M25.
Upminster - larger town, end of Greater London on the A12 and M25. This means it has quick, less expensive trains and good links, but it makes up for that in property price.
Chelmsford - is it a town or city? Not sure, either way, it's nice, we went there regularly. It is a larger area with nice buildings, history, cinema, pubs, etc. We didn't settle there because what we could afford was simply too far from the station for us. We preferred Brentwood, which was about 20 minutes drive away.
Hornchurch/Emerson Park - again, a larger area, but not as nice. The outlying area, like Emerson Park, was nicer. It's a proper suburb with large, detached houses which means longer walk or drive to get to those open green spaces or into town.
All 5 of those are close to both London with easy assess to nature, close to smaller shop and within 15-30 minutes drive of bigger box stores, including Lakeside (a large mall) if you so wished. They are close to main roads with fairly easy access to the North (MIL has family in Leeds, York & Tynemouth)
I wouldn't live in Basildon or the Ockendon areas.
I forced a move to London for a few reasons.
1 - I was sick of my commute. I spent roughly 3-4 hours per day on a train and that's when trains were running well. To be fair, they did most of the time. I felt like trains were worse from Liverpool Street (Greater Anglia line) than Fenchurch Street (C2C line) and recall more than a few times being stuck in the station trying to get home to Essex until 8pm. Giving up that much of my day made me bitter. I was up at up at 6am, left at 7am and didn't get home until 7:30pm. In bed by 11pm to start the day again.
2 - cost of transportation. I was spending tons and tons of money to stand for those 3-4 hours a day and when things go wrong on the train, you're stranded for hours.
3 - it simply felt like suburban hell in the end. I never wanted to do trips to London at the weekend, I did them all week. Even if I wanted to it felt like rail works were always on and lines closed. Everything is in London. Gig, theatre, show ? Go to London, leave event early to catch last train home, just miss it, spend a fortune on a taxi, fall asleep in the taxi and wake up feeling disoriented and realise that you spent your last cash and taxi doesn't take a card.
Even though seemingly everyone commuted the shops and store times didn't change. Dry cleaners, hair-dressers, car repair, sofa store, etc weren't open later or earlier so nothing could be done after work when I rocked home at 7-8pm. I felt stranded. Carry dry-cleaning all the way into London or take it all on the weekend, along with getting every chore which couldn't be fit in the 3.5 hours between arriving home and bedtime in the evening done. Moving to London gave me time. I lack space, but I gained so so much time. I understand your priorities are different. I was reluctant to post because of this. But Essex, or some parts of it may suit your needs. And no, those areas are very much not TOWIE.
I never wanted a village. I wanted a town. One of our closest friends lives near Blackmore Village in Essex. To be fair, it's because his family owns the farm there and it's now his, there's a lack of choice when one takes over the family farming business! We do have to drive to see him. Not sure if there's a station, I think he uses Chelmsford (about 20 minute drive, but not something I'd want to do in rush hour!). But there are a ton of villages: Chipping Ongar, Writtle, Margaretting, Ingatestone, which are pretty if you want a proper village. If you're commuting to London, I'd recommend town over small village simply for ease until you get the lay of the land.
