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Topic: combining british and american culture for child  (Read 1340 times)

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  • Happily Ever-after....Janna & Mark...March 5, 2004
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combining british and american culture for child
« on: February 06, 2005, 10:06:41 PM »
Hi,
I am 28 weeks pregnant with our first child, and all of my family lives in the states, I really have not made any friends in the year + that I have lived in England, and basically the only people I see and talk to are my husband's family.
Lately I feel like no one understand me (hormones are causing my emotions to yo-yo).
I want our child to be raised with an understanding of both british and american culture, traditions, beliefs, and general ways of doing things.  I want her to have a type of "best of both worlds".  I don't think my in-laws are trying to understand my feelings on this subject.  When I have expressed my feelings on this subject, they say things like, "Well we don't do it that way in England...." or " Your not in America anymore, luv...."  Often they make me feel like I am wrong in wanting my child to to be raised as not only british, but american as well.
Has anyone else had experiences like this, and if so, how did you cope?
Any thoughts on this are greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
Janna
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough friends to give you comfort,
enough wealth to meet your needs,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human,
enough hope to make you happy,
and enough determination to make each day
better than yesterday.


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Re: combining british and american culture for child
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2005, 10:14:03 PM »
Huuggssss to you!  Remember in-laws can be trying even if they are from the same country! 

Your children will be raised by you; so you will give them many American perspectives on life - traditions, culture, beliefs and doing things.  As you draw upon your experiences (most of them American) - this perspective will be passed along to the kids. 

Don't worry about your in-laws getting it - just make sure your husband understands how important this is to you.

After you have the baby, you will have more opportunities to meet other mums and hopefully branch out your support network.


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Re: combining british and american culture for child
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2005, 10:19:27 AM »
 

Your children will be raised by you; so you will give them many American perspectives on life - traditions, culture, beliefs and doing things.  As you draw upon your experiences (most of them American) - this perspective will be passed along to the kids. 



I completely agree with that. Janna, Congrats on the upcoming birth! I have three kids with my australian husband and we live in Ireland. (I am american.) Without me really even trying to teach my kids about american culture, they already understand more of it than I thought they would, considering none of them lived there apart from my eldest for the first year of her life. They pick up on my way of doing things, my way of speaking, etc. Same goes for picking up parts of the "australian way" from my husband. All this while living in a third culture - Ireland - and picking up elements of that as well! (including a very sweet irish/aussie/american accent) I think a lot of the cultural training just comes from observation, rather than directly teaching it to them. All the best for the rest of your pregnancy!
IL/IA to Australia to Northern Ireland


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Re: combining british and american culture for child
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2005, 10:34:21 AM »
power-- you are right on!!  I am American  but I consider myself  Italian - American in my ways.. my parents were  both Immigrants  to the states  so although English was  never spoken at home with them, nor was  I  directly taught cultural things  about  the USA  obviously I picked it all up with  school, my cousins, and  just life in general.. 

We are not ready for children yet but my husband  gets very annoyed  with the way  certain  youth  speak English in England  and  the way certain things  get pronounced.. He threatens  that   he'd  kill our kids if they spoke that way...and I of course have brought it up  that chances are  they will sound  like me   ;D ;D :D The Horror!!   ...  he has  come to terms with  the chance that they will pronounce  things the way I do..at least at the beginning.. which makes  me  agree with  power..  in the end it only matters  that your  husband  'gets  it";.. and gets  you..  it's new for both of you..  hugs to you  Janna..  I am  so scared to have children here  and be so far from my own network.  like you..not a lot of friends  yet..  so be strong.. something great is around the corner!!  Congrats on your new  addition!!
"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar." - Raymond Lindquist


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Re: combining british and american culture for child
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2005, 03:48:22 PM »
Hi Jana,


First of all, congrats on your pregnancy.  I am currently 31 weeks pregnant with my second baby.  I'm American, partner is Scottish and I can relate to what you are saying about the inlaws.  They can be trying at the best of times, but with hormones kicking in, it can drive you nuts!  There is nothing wrong with wanting your child to know your culture and beliefs as well as it's fathers.  Try not to let them make you second guess yourself.  It is hard being pregnant so far away from your friends and family.  Hang in there!  My daughter was born here and is quite a blend of the two of us.  She is 22 months old and uses american words for things like diaper and stroller.  I found that going to ante natal classes, and, after the birth, new mom's groups really helped me.  I found that there were a lot of other mom's out there feeling the same way I did which did help. 

Kathleen 


Re: combining british and american culture for child
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2005, 03:55:13 PM »
I haven't read all the posts but Ill just add my usual 2 cents worth.
I have two American born sons. We moved here when they were just 2 and 5. Well the 2 year old has the typical Coventry accent as he basically learned to talk here. My other son whom is 10 now still has traces of an American accent but when he is among his peers he puts on a full accent. I pride myself on my lovely Midwestern American accent  ;)  and I always talk to the boys about how things are in the USA. Funny, I gave them graham crackers the other day and they looked at them like they were really FOREIGN. I told them I used to give them graham crackers when they were babies. My eldest son thought they were for breakfast and my husband thought they possibly should go in the toaster! In a nutshell I dont care how much you try to introduce your American culture to your child society will end up molding them afterall. But I am sure trying!
Congratulations on your pregnancy!


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Re: combining british and american culture for child
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2005, 07:55:56 PM »
Hi all,
Thanks for your kind words and thoughts!
I have one question.....Pebbles, Where did you find graham crackers over here?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!  You got me craving s'mores now!!!!  lol
Thanks again everyone.

Janna
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough friends to give you comfort,
enough wealth to meet your needs,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human,
enough hope to make you happy,
and enough determination to make each day
better than yesterday.


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Re: combining british and american culture for child
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2005, 08:08:20 PM »
Congrats Janna!  :-*
Lived in Cheltenham, England> 2003-2004
Lived in London, England> August 2005- April 2009
Back home in Brooklyn, NY since April 2009


Re: combining british and american culture for child
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2005, 08:56:45 PM »
Hi all,
Thanks for your kind words and thoughts!
I have one question.....Pebbles, Where did you find graham crackers over here?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! You got me craving s'mores now!!!! lol
Thanks again everyone.

Janna
I didnt find them here. AZroomie brought them back from the USA a few weeks ago :)
Im guarding them with my life! One graham cracker per kid per week. That should last me a few weeks. lol
So sad!


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