Interesting Correspondence from the Ex...

...re:  moving the kids to Scotland.

Now that he's moved to the other end of the state, he doesn't see much of the girls.  Didn't see them at all in January, saw them 1 weekend this month, won't see them at all in March, who knows about after that.  Got an email from him today....he doesn't have any huge objections to me moving the kids for a few years BUT he wants me to go to the child support collection agency and get them to drop our case.  Says he's still willing to pay some child support (amount as yet unspecified), but doesn't feel he should have to pay the full amount as he'll only be seeing the kids once a year (during the summer hols).  Part of me is saying just go along with him....it will avoid a nasty court battle.  (He implied that if I didn't do this, he would withdraw his permission for the kids to go.)  The child support agency really only cares about me if I am collecting government assistance....which I'm not....so I think I can get them to drop the case.  Any thoughts???

Nasty court battles are no fun, and might delay your move. You never what the outcome might be, they might prevent you from moving the kids at all. I'd have jumped on an offer like that from my ex.  I'd say I'd avoid court if possible, I've seen a lot women shafted who shouldn't have been. IMHO.

I thought child support was to help finance their upbringing, not to purchase visitation rights.

In a perfect world it would be. 

I thought child support was to help finance their upbringing, not to purchase visitation rights.

It is.  However, that's not how my ex looks at it.  He sees child support as paying for visitation, and he sees visitation not as time for him to spend with the kids, but time that the kids DON'T spend with me.  On the one hand, this whole arrangement seems a bit mercenary.  On the other hand, if this goes to court there is no guarantee that I would win.  I think I would have a pretty good case for taking the kids to Scotland, but 'pretty good' might not be good enough for this particular judge...

I thought child support was to help finance their upbringing, not to purchase visitation rights.

Exactly what i was thinking!
This guy sounds like a real winner, Closet Hippie! 

Nasty court battles are no fun, and might delay your move. You never what the outcome might be, they might prevent you from moving the kids at all. I'd have jumped on an offer like that from my ex.  I'd say I'd avoid court if possible, I've seen a lot women shafted who shouldn't have been. IMHO.

I have to say I'm with Leah on this.  I had a feeling he'd pull a stunt like this, but there's no price you can put on your girls' or your well-being.  Is their and your quality of life going to be much better in Scotland?  If the answer is yes, I think I'd consider just closing the deal and getting out here. 

lol. My beast tried the same with me and as a result his income was reviewed and now he is paying MORE child support. Like Lightbulb said the support is for their maintenance and has nothing to do with visitation. I'm in the middle of something messy with my ex beast now and my lawyer told me anytime anything like this goes to court it automatically gets reviewed for child support. This is in the state of Iowa by the way.

This guy sounds like a real winner, Closet Hippie! 

I know, WHAT WAS I THINKING???  I mean, I don't drink so I can't even use being drunk as an excuse.  Young and stupid, I guess....but my experiences with him have shaped me into who I am today, warts and all, and I've got two gorgeous (if high maintenance!) little girls, so I can't say that there only regrets....