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Topic: Surrogate grandparents  (Read 1198 times)

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Surrogate grandparents
« on: March 17, 2005, 02:14:46 PM »
I feel a bit sorry for my sons. They dont really have grandparents and to me having a grandparents' influence is such an important part of your childhood. My father is passed and my mother is in the USA and could really care less about my sons. Franks mom is also passed and his father is disabled. So really all we have here is each other and one of Franks sisters. Well for some reason my 3 year old Coby has attached himself to my next door neighbors. They are grandparent age for him (60's) and today all Coby babbled about for the past hour was "Go see Terry...go see Terry" so I called and asked if Terry could pop his head out for a bit. Coby was so happy. Terry grabbed his coat and has taken Coby for a walk. Im very fortunate to have close neighbors like I do but I really wish my sons had proper grandparents  :\\\'(


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Re: Surrogate grandparents
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2005, 02:24:53 PM »
Wow, that is a wonderful thing to have such neighbors!  Just think if you didn't have them, the absence might feel greater (of grans).

I think nuturing, loving grans are priceless.  But I had alcoholic, mentally ill grans who I 'had' to see 'because they are grandparents' so I didn't gain any valuable life lessons there, just the rule to fake it for the sake of 'family'. ;)

I'm sure many elders would love to pass on their wisdom and be needed but how one goes about finding such a relationship is less clear when it's not blood relations. 


Re: Surrogate grandparents
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2005, 03:17:49 PM »
Oh that is so sweet!!!  How cool that Terry has Coby as well!!!!


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  • AAGGGHH!
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Re: Surrogate grandparents
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2005, 09:53:18 PM »
I think that is wonderful Pebbles to have such wonderful neighbors who are good to your kids.  My grandparents always lived so far away and died when I was young, but the one closer to me in mileage, could care less about me or my brothers.  I have my own surrogate grandmother at work (have always found one at every job) and I think that is great if you can't have your biological grandparents. 


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Re: Surrogate grandparents
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2005, 11:42:43 PM »
I think it's sweet. I read an article some time ago about this kind of thing. They were saying how so many children nowadays don't have grandparents (maybe because their parents are older than previous generations) or live a long way from them because we are a more transient society these days and so, like your son Pebbles,  children are "adopting" elderly neighbours and friends as surrogate grandparents.


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  • azroomie & james
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Re: Surrogate grandparents
« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2005, 12:45:05 AM »
very lucky Coby! if he needs a surrogate auntie...  LMK!! 

 mY grandparents (dad side)  lived NEXT door  for  about 20 years of my life and it was horrible..very  mean and  embarrassing..  but I also  attached myself  to elderly  neighbors .. not my paternal grandparents..

 my grand dad is still alive.. he has  18 grandchildren
10 Great- grandchildren


and I shake my head  in  what?? disgust? pity?  he will die  alone.. he is  a bitter, angry, mean man  ..  and he does everything he can to isolate himself..  he thinks if he is  tough and mean  he is  being  manly..  go figure.. 

I feel bad for those people who are away   from their grandkids  solely  because of distance..  HUGS!! 

end of rant..  back to the show...
"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar." - Raymond Lindquist


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  • Pickles
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Re: Surrogate grandparents
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2005, 02:25:29 AM »
It's great you have such a wonderful neighbour like that. I think kids big and little need a grandparent type person in their lives.

I have a great kindhearted friend that is retirement age (62ish and wonderfully young), that has taken my brude under her wings.
"Bloom where you are planted".


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