New Laws for Children Traveling to the UK

My advice, cover yourself! Dont give your ex anything he can use against you. Do everything by the book. Get a lawyer if you have to but dont break the rules because if your ex finds out he probaby would hold it against your in court and then you'll be lucky if he ever lets you take your son out of the country. Trust me I know all about this stuff!
As for the airlines, they dont care. Its not their job know their passengers custody arrangements. As long as there is a valid passport for each passenger thats all they care about.
Good luck and be careful!

Excellent advice.  I find myself biting my tongue constantly and reminding myself that I must not let myself be drawn into the same games my ex plays.  I won't do anything that might make myself look bad in front of the judge, no matter how frustrated I am or how much the ex deserves it.  I play very, very nice, and hope it will all pay off in the end. 

And the airlines don't care about custody arrangements....it's immigration that might.  They've been fairly low key with me thus far....the most they've done is ask the kids if their dad knows where they are and when they're coming home.  That's when I offered to show them the notarised letter and they said they didn't need to see it at that point.  But I still always carry it with me, and he still always needs a judge to order him to give it to me....sigh....ain't life fun?

But if I'm taking Elijah out of the county during my court ordered time, why do i need his dad's permission. Don't i just need to notify him?

One of the big reasons that I get a letter showing my ex's "permission" to take my girls to Scotland is that it builds a paper trail, a record of me asking, a record of him giving consent, a record of me returning when I said I would.  It means that if he ever decides to try and convince a judge that I'm going to 'do a runner' with the girls, I can produce a written history of my trips with the kids and the fact that he gave his "permission" each time. 

Like I said, you likely won't be asked to produce any such letter.  And if it's the word 'permission' that bothers you, try changing the wording to something like "I, Elijah's father, have been notified that he will be travelling to the UK with alzbabybird, Elijah's mother, leaving on such-and-such date and returnging such-and-such date.  Blah, blah, blah...."

(I usually word the letter so that it gives the girls permission to travel out of the country with me, rather than giving me permission to travel out of the country with the girls.)

This really covers you as much as anything else....he won't be able to claim that he wasn't fully informed if you've got a piece of paper, notarised and with his signature on it, acknowledging that he has....

Ha! He would never sign anything like that. He'd rather cut his hands off first!! I'm just going to send him a letter with a return signature notifying him that I'm going. That should be sufficiant, right?

Ha! He would never sign anything like that. He'd rather cut his hands off first!! I'm just going to send him a letter with a return signature notifying him that I'm going. That should be sufficiant, right?

Mine has signed each time either because a judge ordered him to do so or because my lawyer assured him that if he didn't sign voluntarily, the judge would order him to do so.  You are the only one who can judge what is sufficient in your situation.  I have the notarised letter each time a) to ensure that there are no problems at immigration [hasn't been an issue so far]; b) to build the paper trail I mentioned above; c) to have the satisfaction of knowing that he's having to do this and agree to it even though he doesn't want to; d) to give him some little, itty bitty feeling of control over the situation even though he doesn't really have any because he's a total control freak; and e) because I feel like that's what I need to do in my personal situation.  If I just sent him a letter notifying him that I was going w/a return signature, the first thing he would do is refuse to sign for the letter.  If perchance he DID sign for it, he would immediately take me to court for trying to take the kids out of the country without his permission.  And he'd probably lose.  But things could be in court at the time that I'm supposed to be out of the country.  He actually pulled that on me once, and I almost had to cancel my trip because of it.  Luckily the judge agreed to reschedule our hearing for three days before we were due to leave.  And he ordered my ex to let us go AND to give us written permission to do so.  But it cost me a lot of money and a lot of stress. 

Thanks for the info. I guess what I don't understand is, if our order doesn't say I can't leave the county, and I'm not interfering with his court ordered time,  why do I have to ask him if I can go as opposed to just letting him know when and where I'm going?

It's really not an issue of whether or not you can go, just as it's not an issue of whether or not I can go.  He is my ex, and even when he was my husband he didn't have any control over MY movements.  However, no matter what a big jerk I think he is (and so far he hasn't done much to change my opinion), he is still the father of my girls.  I wish that I was totally free of him, but I'm not and won't be for a very long time, if ever.  And like it or not, he has some say over the lives of our children at this point and can make life difficult for me if he feels I'm not respecting that. 

Again, this is the way that I have chosen to handle my personal situation on the advice of my lawyer.  And I must say that six years down the road it is starting to pay off.  Because he FEELS that I have shown him respect in this area, he is now willing to talk to me about moving the kids to Scotland.  If I had brought up the possibility of us moving six years ago, there would have been a really lengthy court battle that I was not guaranteed of winning.  Now it looks like we'll be able to avoid court altogether.  I still find him to be a major PITA.  BUT....I have traded a little bit of discomfort in dealing with him cordially for the increase in cooperation that I'm seeing today.  I can't say what is right or wrong in YOUR situation.  You will have to decide that for yourself.  And chances are good you'll be fine following whatever choices you make.  I don't know you, your ex, your lawyer, your judge or your son...you do.  Trust your own judgement!  You will know what to do for you.

I always traveled and still do with a notarized letter from my seven year olds father that I can travel with our son to the UK or Europe for any amount of time.  This way it solves any confussion and also shows full consent by my sons father.  It is just good to have, especially for immigration.  I now have a visa for my son which I obtained by showing custody papers and a notarized statement showing permission  from the father.  The lady at the Consulate was very happy to see the notarized letter and told me that it helped with obtaining my sons visa.

Good luck,

Danielle

I never had a letter of 'permission' but I always asked my ex to sign a letter saying he was aware that the girls were traveling with me from this to that date on such and such airline.  I also added in there his contact details in case we ran into any problems and they needed to notify someone.  I always passed it to him along the lines that this means they will notify you if anything happens to me while the girls are traveling with me, and he always signed it even though he is one stubborn basty at the best of times.

He saw it as preserving his rights, rather than doing something for me, so he was always quick to sign it. I always think of it as how would I want him to handle this if it were him... I'd rather he tell me up front if he's going to travel with them on his weeks, so I set the tone. Then I can give him a right bollocking when he *forgets* to tell me, and boy does that feel good.