What is it with drinking in the UK?

Why did you serve alcohol at your wedding if you feel strongly about this?    

Because DH's mother paid for our reception and insisted on an open bar, against my wishes.

And my experience with drinking in the UK and British people being three sheets to the wind was at my wedding reception six months ago when busines colleagues of my DH's felt the need to:

1. One person got so drunk that they fell over backwards out the fire escape door while dancing. Yippee! This was even caught by my professional videographer who asked me did I want to reproduce footage of it so that my British hubby could take it to work for "entertainment" purposes. Needless to say we both said no thank you. According to DH this is "normal" party behaviour for her. This is the same person that got so drunk at their company Christmas party that she had to crawl off the dance floor while declaring to everybody "I love you all!" I know this for a fact because I was at that party.

2. Four of the women there got so drunk that they started hitting on men and tried to get them to go have sex back in the hotel rooms that DH and I had so graciously paid for. I might add that these were men these women had just met that night. The men were mutual friends of ours that had nothing to do with DH's work, and to top it all off these men had brought their girlfriend or wife to the wedding reception.

*begin sarcasm mode* I want to understand and embrace this culture so much! *end sarcasm mode*

No matter where you are, you will run into people who have too much to drink and make pests of themselves.  I don't have much tolerance for this type of behaviour, be it from people who are drunk or sober, American or British.  Truth be told, I find that people who are really obnoxious drunk are usually also pretty obnoxious sober.  So....I usually don't hang out with them, don't invite them to important social occasions, and don't supply them with alcohol.  I don't mind going to the pub to socialise w/my friends or family....but they usually know ahead of time if they're going to visit or going to get pished, and if it's the latter I simply decline the invitation.  They know I'm not a drinker, and nobody is offended if I simply don't go.

And thanks for the sarcastic comment about embracing this culture.  I'm a dual citizen, American father, Scottish mother, and found that to be a little personal...this is my family you're talking about.  

I agree with you closet.hipster: It's the gaggle mentality...I've seen people do stupid things just because they are in a large group of people and they don't want to be the "odd one" out...and that's regardless of tipple.

And thanks for the sarcastic comment about embracing this culture.  I'm a dual citizen, American father, Scottish mother, and found that to be a little personal...this is my family you're talking about.  

Don't take it personally. I'm an American Indian and I have many relatives that are chronic alchoholics. I'm not embarrassed in the slightest when somebody calls one of them a "drunken Indian", that's exactly what they are. This was the first time I'd ever met those women but according to DH and his brother who work with them every day this is their normal behaviour at any gathering they attend.....I've never seen any US women behave this way at a wedding reception (and I've been to plenty) so I can only form an opinion that this is an accepted thing here in the UK. Those instances gave me a bad taste in my mouth and therefore I shun going to social gatherings here unless it's with DH's family or our two best friends here. I don't like being in gatherings where I feel embarrassed for the behaviour of other people.

I guess it's just a difference in communication styles....I would never dream of referring to anyone as a drunken Indian, even if they were drunk...and I would miss out on a lot if I decided I didn't want to understand Native American culture because there happened to be alcohol problems among that particular population.  There are many other wonderful, interesting aspects of both the British culture and the Native American culture that don't have anything to do with drink.

Don't take it personally. I'm an American Indian and I have many relatives that are chronic alchoholics. I'm not embarrassed in the slightest when somebody calls one of them a "drunken Indian", that's exactly what they are. This was the first time I'd ever met those women but according to DH and his brother who work with them every day this is their normal behaviour at any gathering they attend.....I've never seen any US women behave this way at a wedding reception (and I've been to plenty) so I can only form an opinion that this is an accepted thing here in the UK. Those instances gave me a bad taste in my mouth and therefore I shun going to social gatherings here unless it's with DH's family or our two best friends here. I don't like being in gatherings where I feel embarrassed for the behaviour of other people.

How.. noble of you.

I don't like being in gatherings where I feel embarrassed for the behaviour of other people.

I don't either.  Why would I want to spend my precious personal time with people who don't know how to behave themselves in public? 

Ok - we have cultural differences here, I will agree to that and accept that.  But no matter where you are, world wide, there are people who can drink and act civilized and those who drink and turn into instant idiots.  Why in the world would I want to spend my time surrounded by the latter?  I too feel embarassed for people who don't realize they are being stupid.  Does that mean I think I'm better than them - no, just means I know an idiot with too much alcohol in them when I see them. 

This has nothing to do with being "noble" it just means I prefer to be with people who know how to act appropriately in public - and in private for that matter.  It has absolutely nothing to do with cultural differences.

~Liza

How.. noble of you.

And how...condescending of you.

I didn't read all these messagges but I wanted to tell my opinion.
I am Italian and I now live in California.  As many people know in Italy wine is a very important part of our culture. My dad always had a glass of wine for lunch and one for dinner. BUT he never got drunk in his life and so all my ants and uncles.
We really need to understand that there is a BIG difference between drinking and getting drunk.
I have lived in the US for 8 years now.  First in Utah and now in California.  My husband and I are Mormons so we do not drink any alcohol. Utah have a high percentage of Mormons.  But when I was there I saw that a lot of the people that live there and are not Mormons go home and get drunk every night.  They do it in the US too. There are lots of problems with people with alcoholism here in the US. I don't believe you didn't see it.  
Now we are in California and last year my husband was going to a business lunch with the big boss and other important people in the company he had just be hired to work for.  The secretary knew he was Mormon and told him that he had to at least drink one glass because he couldn't show he was different. Of course he didn't and nobody cared.  But to me it looks like drinking is a problem here just like in any other country. Americans just cant distinguish between having a drink and getting drunk. But there is a VERY BIG DIFFERENCE

I guess it's just a difference in communication styles....I would never dream of referring to anyone as a drunken Indian, even if they were drunk...and I would miss out on a lot if I decided I didn't want to understand Native American culture because there happened to be alcohol problems among that particular population.  There are many other wonderful, interesting aspects of both the British culture and the Native American culture that don't have anything to do with drink.

But yet on this website, the place where I thought everybody was supposed to get a fair shake, some people are made to feel like their opionions are not worth merit because the spirit of the British lifestyle is not being embraced. Most of us on this board came from the US originally and whether we like it or not we all have the mentality that we can say what we want when we want and where we want to say it. That holds true of all of us, even those that have been here for years and years and years.  Just because there are some of us that have been here a shorter period of time doesn't award anybody the right to say that their beliefs or experiences hold more merit than the others. We all have feelings and opinions and they are all just as valid as the next members.

.

I think we've all stated our opinions, and I think for the most part we've even agreed with alot of the opinions of others.  In fact, I'm not seeing where the difference of opinion reallly is. 

There's a more open drinking culture in the UK.

People in the UK and the US abuse alcohol.

People who are drunk are sometimes embarrassing to watch.

People who are drunk do stupid things.

There is more drink-driving in the US.

Town centers are not nice places to be in at night in the UK.

I think I've hit on everything.  And I think most of the real arguments was just people getting their feelings hurt or thinking they weren't being heard.  This is going nowhere.

Anyone who would like to question or comment on this topic being locked, please PM me.  I'd be happy to unlock it if the discussion is going to continue in a healthy open-minded way.  But I've been down the road too many times lately of asking people to pack it in only to be ignored.