Yeah, my instructor failed me for wearing the wrong colour shirt or something and not glancing in the rear view mirror exactly when the English want me to etc. etc.
This kind of idiocy could go on forever, potentially costing me a half vacation day every time I take the test- As you said, so much for 17 years' worth of safe driving in the U.S., France, and Switzerland. I am going to do everything I can to avoid wasting further time on this, and will only resort to pursuing a UK license if I can't escape to Germany fast enough.
And when you lose control, you'll reap the harvest that you've sown
And as the annoyance grows, the bad blood slows and turns to stone
And it's too late to use the license you used to have around
So have a good drown, as you go down, alone
Dragged down by the DVLA stone.
-Pink Floyd, "DVLA"