Trying for our first baby (NHS)

again this depends on region.  in edinburgh, you cannot hire a private room at the royal infirmary, it's just luck of the draw or if you have complications.  ditto showers.  i was in the delivery suite and there was just a bath for a water birth, which i went too fast to have.

the infirmary doesn't allow partners to stay overnight.  i don't know any place that does, tbh.

I'll warn here that I haven't read this whole thread, but I do think you need to change your mindset from "trying" for our first baby to "conceiving" our first baby. You'd be amazed what that can do.

Maybe i've misunderstood your point, but where i live, it's called 'trying' for a baby.

I was and still am confused? Ive always known it to be called trying to have a baby, i just thought it was called maybe something different here in the uk?

People saying "trying for a baby" here.

As for what you get at the hospital, it really varies from one hospital to another.  You might get a choice of hospitals though (I had a choice of 4) and they usually have some kind of tour for expectant parents so you can go along and find out exactly what facilities they have.  Some have natural birth centres, some don't.  Some have water birth facilities, some don't.  Some have private rooms on the post natal ward, some don't - etc  My hospital required all visitors including husbands/partners to leave by 8pm and they were quite strict about it.   

You might be able to find out a bit about hospitals in your area on the NHS website.

Having lived in England for nearly three years, I have to say that I've been less than impressed by the NHS and mortified at the lack of preventative medicine here. So much so, in fact, that when I found out that I was happily pregnant, 14 months ago, I seriously considered leaving hubby behind and flying back to the States to have the baby! HOWEVER, MY BIRTHING EXPERIENCE WITH THE NHS FAR SURPASSED ANYTHING THAT I'D EVER EVEN HEARD ABOUT IN THE STATES! The whole system is set up differently here than in the States... Set aside all your expectations... Now, this is MY experience in Buckinghamshire, but I've heard that the quality of service varies regionally... From day one, I was treated like a queen! I had regular alternating appointments between my GP and various midwives. There were also hospital tours. I chose to have an underwater birth, an option available at my hospital and one I highly recommend! On the day, I was already dilated to 5 when I got to the hospital, so it was straight into the birthing pool. The hospital had a separate staff of midwives than the ones I had been working with previously.  All they do is baby births, day in and day out! They REALLY know their stuff! There were doctors available too should they be needed in an emergency, but I never saw one until later on. My midwife that night was specially trained in water births and she never left my side the entire time. Neither did my husband for that matter, on threat of death and/or divorce! After 5 1/2 hours, I had a beautiful baby girl, 9 lbs., 7 ozs.!  There was no rush to get us out of there. Baby and I sat in the warmth of the water and dim lights for another 1/2 hour before we got onto a bed. Then, the midwives left the three of us in the quiet privacy of the same room for several more hours so that we could nap. They did peep in every now and then and a doctor, the first I'd seen, came in to sort things out "down there". I could have gone home straight away after that, but having lost a considerable amount of blood, I opted to stay overnight. The choice was mine and it was the best decision! I shared a room with three other new mums. Again though, sharing a room was my choice. For a small fee, I could of had a private room. There was a swarm of midwives at my beckoning call all night long for even the most stupid questions! Best of all, MY BABY NEVER LEFT MY SIDE FROM THE TIME SHE WAS BORN UNTIL THE TIME WE WENT HOME! Different midwives kept popping in. One specialized in breast feeding, another specialized in bathing your baby, another in bottle feeding. Still others popped in to check my blood pressure, etc. O.K., so you might expect all of that in a U.S. hospital too, but here's the zinger... AFTERCARE!!! YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE AFTERCARE!!! A midwife came to my home EVERY DAY for over three weeks to check on me and the baby! Again, the choice was mine. She would have come only every two or three days if I had wanted. After that, the Health Visitor came to the house every week for three weeks to check on us!  Ever since, it's been regular trips to the Health Visitor's office for checkups, weighing, etc... The Health Visitor does everything from that point on, unless the baby needs immunizations from a nurse or to see the GP for colds, bumps and bruises. I was also given a card for free prescriptions for the baby and me for one year following the birth. I've found prescriptions to be fairly cheap here anyway, but every little bit saved still counts!
Friends and family in the States are amazed when I tell them all of this! I know this was long winded, but I hope it helps you feel better about having a baby in the U.K.  Don't give it another thought and enjoy your pregnancy!
Wishing you much happiness!!!

thank you sooo much for your post I feel much more at ease now, and our baby cant come soon enough in our opinion! thank you again!!!

yeah, trying for a baby sounds right.  i think.  dunno.  i've never been one to count my chickens before they hatch so i never brought it up publicly until after i was officially pregnant and on the way.

trying ot pop a sprog?  sorry, one hand type here.

So far, my experience in the Cirencester area has been appalling.  I am 11 weeks pregnant (I know that no one here cares until 12....).  I did meet with my midwife who was unknowledgeable and disorganized.  I went for an early scan due to some bleeding at Cheltenham, where I was told it was good.  The midwives there didn't seem much better. 

I went to my GP, who I'm also not enamoured with, to plead for consultant led care.  He just said "Why don't you go for private care like you wanted to in the first place". (I'd gone to Portland in London and found it awful.  I wouldn't recommend the private hospitals as they're not properly set up in case of emergency.)

So, I went to another private consultant at the John Radcliffe in Oxford.  He basically said I was wasting my $$ on him as he won't see me that much and I'll still have to go to my midwife.  We then took a tour of the hospital and it was like something out of the Roosevelt era! 

I've contacted that same consultant and asked if he would see me up until 28 weeks and I'm thinking of flying to the States to have the baby.  I hate to do it, but I'm so tired of all of the searching and lack of any decent care.... 

I guess it does depend on where you are in the country, but I still think the NHS has a long was to go on how they treat pregnancy and delivery.

Sorry to hear that nyny.   It is incredible how much services seem to differ in different parts of the country.  I wasn't too impressed with some of the midwives I saw pre-natally either.  I remember I was horrified at my booking in appointment, so was my husband who came with me.  But I do believe for most women, it is not necessary to see a consultant all through pregnancy.  In my last trimestre I had a few episodes of bleeding so was seen by various obstetricians at the hospital and to tell the truth they drove me nuts. They would check me out and say I was fine and then insist I stay in for 24 hours observation anyway which basically meant sitting in a ward doing nothing being forgotten about, not being able to sleep because the one time they did come to check my BP etc was at about 3am.

BUT the midwives during my delivery were fantastic and the midwives who came to see me at home afterwards were fantastic too. They give you so much help and advice in those first couple of weeks when you really need it, which you are not going to get from an obstetrician.

But I do believe for most women, it is not necessary to see a consultant all through pregnancy. 

BUT the midwives during my delivery were fantastic and the midwives who came to see me at home afterwards were fantastic too. They give you so much help and advice in those first couple of weeks when you really need it, which you are not going to get from an obstetrician.

I agree with this.  Other than checking your blood pressure, there's not a lot involved and occasional scans.  It's hard to understand this when you're on your first pregnancy and I remember being desperate to see a male Doctor, when in actuality, you're better off with a female midwife. 

So far, my experience in the Cirencester area has been appalling.  I am 11 weeks pregnant (I know that no one here cares until 12....).  I did meet with my midwife who was unknowledgeable and disorganized.  I went for an early scan due to some bleeding at Cheltenham, where I was told it was good.  The midwives there didn't seem much better. 

I went to my GP, who I'm also not enamoured with, to plead for consultant led care.  He just said "Why don't you go for private care like you wanted to in the first place". (I'd gone to Portland in London and found it awful.  I wouldn't recommend the private hospitals as they're not properly set up in case of emergency.)

So, I went to another private consultant at the John Radcliffe in Oxford.  He basically said I was wasting my $$ on him as he won't see me that much and I'll still have to go to my midwife.  We then took a tour of the hospital and it was like something out of the Roosevelt era! 

I've contacted that same consultant and asked if he would see me up until 28 weeks and I'm thinking of flying to the States to have the baby.  I hate to do it, but I'm so tired of all of the searching and lack of any decent care.... 

I guess it does depend on where you are in the country, but I still think the NHS has a long was to go on how they treat pregnancy and delivery.

This sounds very much like the area in Essex that I reside in.  I choose to fly back to the US for the birth of my third child, I have many different reasons for doing this.  One private hospital that is set up for emergency care, is Guys in London.  In fact, it is a NHS teaching hospital that offers private maternity care.  The care varies from post code to post code.    I have US medical insurance, if I did not I would be in the UK to have the baby.  YOu have to do what makes you feel comfortable and safe.   The NHS is a great service, though so streched by the demand.

Thanks Maddierose.  I don't have US insurance and would take out all of my 401K $$ to do this.  I would love to make the NHS work, but where I am, I just.

Would you mind my asking why you didn't choose Guys in London?  I'll look that up.

Also, I hope you don't mind my asking, when did you fly to the US, when did your hubby and when did you fly back/hubby fly back?  Since you've been through this, you can most likely understand where I'm coming from.

I think the NHS in principle (sp?) is a wonderful idea, but because of the nature of the system, does have it's problems.

So far my care has been pretty good. I have a few things that need regular monitoring and they have done this with minimal fuss. My midwife is nice and went out of her way to make time for me when I was feeling really down. Unless things get out of hand, I'll have a hospital birth where a different team of midwives will take care of me. I've heard that unless they are really busy or on shift changes, you can expect great care. The only worry is that because it's a small county hospital (as opposed to large city or teaching hospital), they have a maximum number of anesthetists on staff and can only have about 3 going on at the same time. So if you don't NEED an epidural, you may not get one!  

But I do believe for most women, it is not necessary to see a consultant all through pregnancy. 

VERY true.  It's normal, bodily function for which the body is pretty well adapted; not a medical condition or illness.  90% of the time, it goes off w/o a hitch.  For the other 10%, there's needing to see a consultant.  I, too, didn't see one until I developed hypertension during my first pregnancy.  During delivery I was carefully monitored, and again, a consultant was called for the delivery.

It's natural to be concerned, but at the same time, it's important to relax and enjoy the pregnancy as well.  After all, it's when they're out that's the hard part! 

Thanks Maddierose.  I don't have US insurance and would take out all of my 401K $$ to do this.  I would love to make the NHS work, but where I am, I just.

Would you mind my asking why you didn't choose Guys in London?  I'll look that up.

Also, I hope you don't mind my asking, when did you fly to the US, when did your hubby and when did you fly back/hubby fly back?  Since you've been through this, you can most likely understand where I'm coming from.

I think the NHS in principle (sp?) is a wonderful idea, but because of the nature of the system, does have it's problems.

I am in the States right now, flew out here two weeks ago.  I am due to have the baby in late March.  One of my main reasons for returning to the States, was that my DH who works for a US company will mostly be in the US on a work assignment till his paternity leave.  It made sense to us, that I would come to the US with our two boys, be close to my family and have the baby here.

I would have gone to Guys if I did not take the above option. 

I have friends here in the States who only use midwives, so that is not purely NHS.

You can pm if you like.