planning for inevitable separation

although my return to the States is still over 2 months away, I am mentally trying to prepare myself for the inevitable separation
you may have read that I have just recently moved in with my partner... I think this impending event is weighing on both our minds but neither of us really wants to discuss it as we don't know exactly what we're going to do when this time comes, and also because I inevitably start to cry when I think about being away from him for a long time :\\\'(

just hoping some of you can give us ideas/suggestions for making it easier
or just try to cheer me up!

thanks

Hi--

I don't know how long you two have been together before now, but no matter how long it's been, the most important thing you can do to make this separation easier is communicate.  Two months...approx. 8 weeks...it will go by in a blink.  Seriously...I know it's going to hurt, and it will not be a pleasant thing to talk about, but don't let the anxiety of the impending separation take up space in your mind that could be put to other use.  A few months ago I was in a very similar position as you, and I know how it feels to cry when thinking about being away from someone you love for a long time.  It was made worse by the fact that my guy was shy to tell me his feelings, and he didn't open up to me until the last hours before he had to return home.  After I got over the initial shock of him breaking the news to me that he was leaving his job here early, I tried to get him to open up to me, but he seemed to have trouble doing so for fear of making a painful situation even more hurtful.  It was worse not knowing his feelings, and he takes responsibility for not being more clear with me about his feelings toward our relationship.

Lay out clear expectations for each other.  If you are planning to continue an LDR, have a clear idea about how frequently you wish to see each other, and for how long the LD situation can continue before a decision has to be made about when and how to be together again.  Also importantly, and this isn't pleasant to think about but it must be done...if someone should have a change of heart, please agree on a decent way to break the news to the other, preferably in a more personal manner than digitally.  (I was ditched by e-mail, and to me, that was totally classless and an insult, and I made sure my partner knew it.)

Do your best to enjoy the time remaining that you have together.  Try to do something special--take that trip to a nearby city and live it up.  Or get away to a bed and breakfast together one weekend and enjoy the countryside.  Make some memories that you will cherish--just enjoy each other.

I hope this helped a little...I can only speak from my own experience as to how I tried to make the inevitable more pleasant (for lack of a better word), and that was to make the remaining time I had with my guy as best as it could be.  That is what I wish for you, and I also wish the both of you strength and the support of your close friends.   

MissIndigo wrote: "Lay out clear expectations for each other.  If you are planning to continue an LDR, have a clear idea about how frequently you wish to see each other, and for how long the LD situation can continue before a decision has to be made about when and how to be together again.  Also importantly, and this isn't pleasant to think about but it must be done...if someone should have a change of heart, please agree on a decent way to break the news to the other, preferably in a more personal manner than digitally.  (I was ditched by e-mail, and to me, that was totally classless and an insult, and I made sure my partner knew it.)

Do your best to enjoy the time remaining that you have together.  Try to do something special--take that trip to a nearby city and live it up.  Or get away to a bed and breakfast together one weekend and enjoy the countryside.  Make some memories that you will cherish--"

We have been together a whopping 2 months and one week before now...roughly the same amt of time we have left before my departure
I have been trying to talk to him about it from time to time, but I don't think he really understands my situation. I have tried to explain the visa issue and that as I have been unemployed cannot afford to pay to come back for at least several months.  He has mentioned possibly leaving his job to come stay w/me in Florida but...without his own income, and having to pay for a place to stay in the States as I live w/roommates there, it's really not practical.
The last time we discussed our relationship' future, he was not ready to make a permanent commitment (ie engagement or marriage). However, since then, he asked me to move in with him...another thing he had said he was not ready for, so maybe when the time comes he will be able to take "the big step"...
I know he is serious about me as he has asked his best friends to help him come up with "ideas" so that he can come over with me. I us don't see that happening straight away.
And maybe that's for the best. Maybe it will give us an important chance to find out how much we miss each other and whether we are right for one another...although I'd like to say we are, sometimes it's hard to tell!
I am sure we will talk often and email even more once I'm back in FL! I know he will at least come for a long visit if nothing else.

as for making special memories...we've been doing LOADS of that! He took me to DisneyParis recently and we're planning a trip to the Lake District and often go for weekend drives.

Thanks for your advice and good wishes!