Of course you're not "neurotic and hopeless"! Silly Yvonne!
Contrary to what globe trotters will have you belive, going to another country is a BIG DEAL! It's only natural that you would feel confused going back. Hell I'm back in California for good and I'm confused all the time (and no cracks about the "Granola State" being a confusing place anyway!
).
When we first moved to the UK it was nine months before we went back for the first time. I can't tell you what to do because every persons situation and perspective is different. But I can tell you how I felt when I went back for visits.
I remember when you first started posting on UKY and you were talking about how homesick you were and how you didn't understand the people or the road signs or anything. And everybody (myself included) told you "It does get easier" and I stand by that. It does. The longer you're there, the more acustomed to it you become, the more people you care about and the more it becomes a part of you. - You're wondering where I'm going with this, I can tell.
Stay with me, I'm getting there! - It does get easier. We all said it, and we're all right. Except for one thing (and this is only my personal experience keep in mind). Going back home for visits does NOT get easier. No matter how often you do it. At the end of our vacations when it was time to go back and the plane would take off, I'd just look out the window and cry. I'd cry because I knew it was going to be a long time before I saw it again. And even though England was where I needed to be or more importantly it was where I
wanted to be, it still cut. Everytime. And so it should! California is a part of who I am and the day I don't feel something for it is a day I don't ever want to see. The same goes for you with New York.
You're never going to be happy to leave the place that raised you, the place that made you who you are regardless of how long you leave it. But if you do as you plan and wait for a while before going home and give England a chance to proove itself to you and to make you love it...it might not make leaving the US any easier, but I garuntee it'll make coming back to the UK a lot more fun!
--There, lecture over!