Tax-ignorant American in UK needs some help....

Okay.  Firstly, a big thanks to everyone here.  I have been a long-time lurker and quite a few of the issues you guys have gone through have been really helpful.  Of course, a new one has now emerged (the life of us who chose to live abroad!). 

Essentially, my issue is I haven't filed a tax return in the US since April 2003.  Let me explain.  I have lived in the UK since November 2002.  I came here as a PhD student.  My father filed my taxes in April 2003 for me, based on the job I left in the US when I moved.  As of April 2004, I was no longer a PhD student (I quit in January), and was working part-time at a university.  By April 2004, I made apprx $5000.  By the following April, I was married (to a British citizen), and made apprx $10,000 with my part-time work.  My salary through April 2006 would have been about $40,000.  I never went above the $82,500 mark in my salary alone, I have no real assets and I have permanent residency in the UK through marriage (and have done since August 2004). 

I never filed taxes in the US out of pure ignorance.  I only realised I might have to do so when I met a fellow expat a few weeks ago and we somehow got talking about taxes (FUN!).  She kind of scared me with her tales of how I would never be able to live in the US again now and how I was a fugitive.  I guess I just figured since I was a permanent resident abroad and paying taxes abroad, I shouldn't have to do anything in the US.  Pure ignorance, I know, but in fairness, I have never actually dealt with the US taxman (that 2003 tax return was the first ever filed in my name - before that, I had always been filed on my parents taxes). 

Essentially, I need some advice.  I have the number for the IRS in London, but I wanted to see if anyone else had dealt with them - if they were friendly, helpful, etc.  I am really worried about this - I tend to be quite a rule-follower by nature, and am really frustrated that I allowed this to get out of hand (even if it was without my knowledge).  Is this going to turn into some big complicated thing which will require me to put out a lot of money or is it going to be relatively simple.  Ah! 

Thanks for any advice you all can give.  Hope this wasn't too confusing - though, I know a lot of the problems we Americans abroad deal with are quite complicated! 

Thanks again! 

They're quite friendly.  Just make a list of the questions that you want to ask 'em before you get on the phone with them.  It felt a bit rushed talking to them on the phone, but otherwise they're good with their information.

If you want more help take a look at the irs website first http://www.irs.gov/businesses/small/international/index.html.  Have a read-through the international taxpayer info first, as the website may clear up a few questions you have...and/or create new ones.   

Hope this helps & good luck!

Criostin is right - your circumstances are very common.

In all likelihood you owe no tax at the moment so there will be no penalties ... 

You will need:

1. To check if you held at least $10,000 in total in UK bank accounts at any point and if so file form TDF90-22.1
2. To report any gifts of over $100,000 from your spouse (eg if you sold a house and transfered money around)
3. If your employer paid any UK pension contributions as these might need to be included as reportable income on your US tax returns..

You have only got to file for 2004, 2005 and 2006 - 3 years returns is not that bad...

Another vote of niceness for the Embassy.  The folks there are very helpful and very nice.